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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to lose baby weight asap

228 replies

kiki22 · 19/12/2011 00:41

i'm thinking of joining slimming world pretty much as soon as babys here maybe after 2 or 3 weeks start the classes a friend done this and has lost all her baby weight her ds is only 15 weeks and tbh she looks better now that pre pg, but quite a few people have said it's far to soon and can't believe i'm even thinking about it yet (34 weeks) some have even suggested it wouldn't be healthy. DP's aunt (5 yrs older than me) had the cheek to suggest i should be focusing on my baby not myself like she did 4 dress sizes ago. Really want to know if i'm the only one that thinks it's ok?

To try to field any questions i won't be BF and if i did i would alter plan to allow for it (MW will advise), i want to do it because tho i am happy to get chubby in pregnancy i don't want to be afterward i want to feel attractive again (vain but i miss it) and i usually struggle to lose weight so don't want to leave it months gain more be unhappy and have a huge struggle to get loads of weight off.

Can i get some opinions on this??

OP posts:
Arachnophobic · 19/12/2011 22:24

Felt a bit infuriated ninky

OP didn't ask for views on BF v FF.

StickyGhostofXmasPast · 19/12/2011 22:57

inspireme, I think you're going to have a few catsbum mouths at 'sleeping through from 6/7 weeks', including my own........all jealousy related of course!

Pippaandpolly · 19/12/2011 23:10

OP I started WW when DD was 6 weeks old, which is the earliest they'll accept you. It was good for lots of reasons-the pregnancy weight pretty much disappeared apart from about 5lbs once she was born but I had pre existing weight that needed work, but the main reasons I'm glad I started early are that it gave me a good reason to leave the house once a week (at least-and more for walking etc as I got more confident) and it gave me a support network which led to me being happier to go and seek out other support elsewhere. I think I might have ended up with PND or at least been very low without it and it was the starting point for me getting back to normal. Lots of people commented on how it was too early to worry about weight (and some comments about vanity which I didn't appreciate) but it was definitely the right thing for me. DD is now 13 weeks, I've lost a good chunk of weight, I walk every day and have started proper exercise again and am generally happier, healthier and more confident. Lots more benefits than just being thinner!

inspireme · 19/12/2011 23:17

Sticky tbh im a bit cats bum mouth at all these women who lost all their weight and more a few wks after birth, I have never came across anyone in RL who had lost all the weight as quick. I've half a stone to loose still, my LO is nearly 6 months and most people think I've been starving myself, so I could only imagine the comments if I was skinny after only a few wks!

Chynah · 19/12/2011 23:17

If you've eaten sensibly (or even normally for you) and exercised regularly you shouldn't have put on enough weight to warrant a diet. It's not baby weight - it's your weight - baby has left the building. I put on 17lbs with #1 and 11lbs with #2 no diet required and back in my jeans as soon as the bump deflated (by 2 weeks).

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2011 23:23

There's no need for cat's bum faces at people who get back into their tight jeans straight after birth.

I was back in mine on day 3 of all three of my pregnancies...that's just the way it was for me...and I had my babies when I was aged 23, 30 and 33. So I doubt it was particularly age related either.

If anyone had cat's bum faced me, I would have told them to bugger off and mind their own business.

And on that note, why should the OP explain her choices when it comes to feeding her own baby?

phyllisdiller · 19/12/2011 23:31

To be fair to some women though, getting back into their old jeans may have very little to do with weight gain/loss.

If your stomach muscles split and don't re-join after the usual two weeks it doesn't matter what you weigh, the chances are that you will still look pregnant 4 - 6 weeks PP or even months PP. It pretty miserable tbh. On that basis and having been cursed with 'diastasis recti' 3 times I consider anyone who is able to get into their jeans 2 weeks/months pp pretty fortunate (I was no sloth either, running and circuit training as hobbies before and between pregnancies, pregnancy does odd things to the body imo!).

Good luck with the health kick op, good for you!

Maybetimeforachange · 19/12/2011 23:31

I appear to be the only person who didnt lose weight breastfeeding. I held on to half a stone each time until I stopped feeding. Having said that I was back in normal clothes within 5 days and my jeans within a few weeks each time but never gained more than 2 stone with any pregnancy. After my 3rd pregnancy I was wearing a bikini after 8 weeks. I don't think that you are at all unreasonable to want to lose weight ASAP, it made me feel a million times better to feel like me again.

inspireme · 19/12/2011 23:32

Worra my cats bum face was a bit tongue in cheek there!

But I do find there's a difference in bring able to get back into pre preg jeans in a few days/weeks and actually looking good in them. I could get back into them but I wouldn't have gone out the door with my belly hanging over like that, whereas some people are happy to wear them and look ridiculous just so can they say they can fit back into them iyswim.

Not saying this is u btw worra!

inspireme · 19/12/2011 23:37

Phyllis I had split stomach muscles too, it makes it so much harder, I was/am v active too but fear when I loose my remaining half stone my stomach wont be flat.

But I'm sure we wouldn't trade our Lo's in for a flat stomach so just gotta look at the bigger picture!

runningwilde · 19/12/2011 23:37

You said you won't bf, why is that? The benefits for a baby are immense but you choose to not even try?

Yes go on love, just focus on your weight Hmm

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2011 23:39

I totally understand what you mean...I've always said 'wearing skinny jeans does NOT make one skinny' Lol.

But no, no muffin top or anything for me and other than watch my eating when I was pregnant, I did nothing.

That's why I would have been pissed off if anyone 'judged' me and assumed I'd been vain or any other of the things people sometimes call others when they want to look after themselves.

runningwilde · 19/12/2011 23:40

Yes the op doesnt need to explain why she chooses not to bf but we can ask the question it's not taboo and she put it out there. I also have the right not to respect that kind of decision at all.

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2011 23:41

You said you won't bf, why is that? The benefits for a baby are immense but you choose to not even try?

Yes go on love, just focus on your weight Hmm

How bloody rude!

It's none of your business how the OP decides to feed her baby.

She hasn't asked for advice on that so perhaps you should wind your neck in?

runningwilde · 19/12/2011 23:47

I'll say what I want thanks so feel free to ignore my posts worts love or do I affect you that much?

phyllisdiller · 19/12/2011 23:51

This is definitely true inspireme, onwards with the physio and a few months worth of exercises! I did get it quite flat again after DC1 but even then needed a pair of spanx for a night out (actually spax are pretty fantastic at flattening the last bit out once you are down to your best weight). I think having DC 2 and 3 so close together has really tested it though (perhaps 2 pairs of spanx at once...or perhaps not, life is too short!!)

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2011 23:52

Oh you don't affect me...but for all you know you could well be affecting the OP with your possible bullshit assumption that she 'refuses to even try'

For all you know, she could have a very valid or medical reason

However your self flattery has at least been amusing.

madmomma · 19/12/2011 23:53

God this thread is awful. I'm having dc3 in a couple of days and am devastated that I won't be able to breastfeed her. (High dose of contrainicated meds needed, unfortunately). I've breastfed my other 2, and am already dreading the shitty stares and comments at babygroups while I bottlefeed my baby. It seems likea lot of breastfeeders can't imagine any circumstances where breastfeeding would be inadvisable. I wish I wasn't bothered by strangers' comments and judgements, but it really twists the knife to read rhetorical questions such as 'why would you feed a human baby a cow's milk' Sad Sure I'm oversensitive but it really hurts.

runningwilde · 19/12/2011 23:55

Glad to have amused you as you amuse me too. Now run along and calm down love or amuse me more, whatever

runningwilde · 19/12/2011 23:57

That's not true madmomma. I personally don't get people - like the op it seems who won't even try - but if one cannot then that is entirely different! Good luck with your birth x

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2011 00:00

madmomma don't let those people get you down...honestly they're not worth a second thought.

The sadly ironic thing is childhood obesity is at an all time high right now, so think of how many holier than thou judgementals give up on their kids diet and exercise once they're past the baby stage.

You do what you need/want to do and don't worry about strangers who have nothing better to do than preach one thing and practise another.

madmomma · 20/12/2011 00:02

Thanks running.x Prob just massively oversensitive. I'm a breastfeeder at heart (didn't wean dd1 til 2) & I'm really struggling to come to terms with it being out of my hands. Feel v insecure about bonding with her and about her health on bottles etc - just because it's an unknown to me.

Lynli · 20/12/2011 00:03

As a size 10 smug person, who has lost 4 stone this year, I definitely recommend it. It is a very safe and healthy diet that will only improve your energy levels.

Good luck with your baby and your healthy eating plan.

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2011 00:04

And if MN is anything to go by madmomma you will have to either tell people your personal reasons for not BF-ing or risk being judged...just like the OP.

Just stay strong and remember it's no-one's business but your own.

Bewilderedmum · 20/12/2011 00:07

I was 7 stone 12 when I became pregnant with ds1. despite hyperemesis and swimming three times a week, (once I felt better) and eating a normal diet, I went up to 11 stone - so - oooh! I gained 3 stone 2lb! My body seemed to cling onto every calorie that it could - righteously so. I felt slightly panicky, and deffo didn't overeat - but it was slightly unnerving

After ds1, I breastfed, and lost weight etc etc though tbh - although BF does help you lose weight, personally, I found that my body clung onto those last few pounds whilst I was breast-feeding, as some kind of reserve, and when I finished, a few weeks later, I was back at 7 stone 12. It took me about a year.

Cue Ds2 - when I started I was 7 and a half stone. Again, my body needed the reserves, and I went up to 11 stone - despite eating normally, swimming etc This time, I didn't have the opportunity to breastfeed, having septicaemia following ds2 - but a year later, was back to 7 and a half stone - which is where I am now still (they are 14, and 8)......

So yeah - I put on a lot in pregnancy proportionally, despite regular exercise and eating my normal stuff - my body needed to, and I let it. I lost it again afterwards without dieting, and going back to normal exercise. It wasn't my priority though, losing the weight - it was just that exercising again, made me feel more like me. And I certainly didn't snap into shape - pmsl! I was narky, grumpy and still looking pregnant for a good few months afterwards!

Everyone is different....