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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have been pissed off and rude

113 replies

mummyandpig · 18/12/2011 11:08

I was pretty pissed off at the time but am now wondering if I was unnecessarily rude to this woman.

I was in the lift at John Lewis with my 9 month old and a woman started cooing over him, telling him what lovely eyes he had etc. So she was being kind and friendly but she then turned to me and asked me if I was his nanny. I am in my early 20s and can only assume that she presumed I was too young to have a baby, which is obviously silly.

I glared at her and told her I was his mother and asked why she presumed that I wasn't? She looked confused and a bit taken a back and then we left the lift.

TBH, I think I am being a bit over sensitive but this sort of thing has happened to me before and I find it incredibly patronising and irritating.

OP posts:
StepfordWannabe · 18/12/2011 11:09

YABU - get a grip

YuleingFanjo · 18/12/2011 11:09

are you sure she didn't say 'mammy'?

Kayano · 18/12/2011 11:10

YABU

Original poster
mummyandpig · 18/12/2011 11:11

It was definitely nanny.

OP posts:
EricNordmanfirandMistletoe · 18/12/2011 11:12

It is a weird question to ask, I don't know whether you look too young to be him mum but whatever her thinking it was a rude and strange thing to ask. YANBU

Kladdkaka · 18/12/2011 11:13

YABU you were in John Lewis, of course the assumption is that babies are accompanied by their nannys.

squeakytoy · 18/12/2011 11:13

Yes, you were rude.

CaptainMartinCrieff · 18/12/2011 11:13

What is wrong with smiling and saying 'no I'm his Mum'?
You were being unreasonable and worse still rude.

rainbowinthesky · 18/12/2011 11:14

Yabu. Are you usually so rude?

gamerwidow · 18/12/2011 11:14

YABU you could have said just said no I'm his mum no need to be rude.

lurkinginthebackground · 18/12/2011 11:15

Do you look very young for your age? Even then surely a nanny has to be at least 16 and a 16 year old can be a mother. Very strange behaviour from the woman.
Best to ignore next time and smile sweetly.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 11:15

Could have been worse

She might have meant Nanny as in Grandmother Grin

Original poster
mummyandpig · 18/12/2011 11:15

I don't think I am usually rude, no.

However, this sort of thing really irritates me. If I had been in my 40s, she wouldn't have asked me that.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 18/12/2011 11:16

If you were in your 40's she might have asked you if you were his Granny... and then you could have got all offended by that instead Grin

rainbowinthesky · 18/12/2011 11:16

Ds is nearly 16 and people are often surprised to learn that I am his mother as I look younger than I am. I am never offended at this!

TurkeyBurgerThing · 18/12/2011 11:16

YABVU

JamieComeHome · 18/12/2011 11:17

It was a bit tactless, but no biggie.

Neither of my DSs looked like me as babies, so I can imagine people wondering if I was their mum.

In some places 20 early 20s is young to have a baby. Maybe JL is one of them ....

Kladdkaka · 18/12/2011 11:17

How do you know she wouldn't have asked you had you been in your 40s?

AlpinePony · 18/12/2011 11:17

Yabu.

If you'd been in your 40s and in a less prestigious shop you'd have been asked if you were the grandma.

Calm down and stop looking for things to take offence at, what an exhausting way to live. :(

Original poster
mummyandpig · 18/12/2011 11:17

:O worra, I was feeling a bit run down that day.

OP posts:
JamieComeHome · 18/12/2011 11:17

typos!

Original poster
mummyandpig · 18/12/2011 11:17

:o *

OP posts:
gettingalifenow · 18/12/2011 11:18

Yes you were rude but don't beat yourself up, you can spend too much time worrying about what you should have said.

You can't change it now, just think about what you might say next time - you know its not your ideal repsonse or you wouldnt have posted here....

iscream · 18/12/2011 11:18

People never thought I was my ds1's mother, right up until he was in his 20's, as I looked young for my age I guess. I was always flattered.

HugosGoatee · 18/12/2011 11:18

YANBU - she was rude to say it and you responded entirely reasonably IMO - why would it be more likely that you would be his nanny? It says much more about her than you that she felt she should say it, well done for not just seething quietly!

Another response could be the tried and tested cocked head, measured look and 'did you mean that to sound as rude as it did?'