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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be sad with some peoples unenthusiasm for christmas??

146 replies

covermeup · 18/12/2011 11:06

I'm so tired of hearing people say 'it's just another day of the year' 'we won't be changing our normal daily routine' 'we can't be bothered to buy each other gifts' etc etc. Christmas is the one day of the year where you buy gifts for the people you care about to show them they are loved and appreciated!!! It makes me so sad that some people aren't bothered about seeing their family, having a nice dinner, playing some games and opening gifts for ONE day of the year!!

I know some people genuinely can't afford presents but all of the people that I know who moan about the money can! EVERYBODY knows Christmas is going to come around in December so why wait until the week before and then panic?! If every couple put away £20/£30 a month from January - November they would then have £220/£330 for Christmas! Most people wouldn't even notice the moneys gone!

It's sad that we won't be seeing DNeph (14mo) opening his present because Sil only wants to go to her inlaws for lunch and then spend the rest of the day at home by themselves. And Mil is only buying gifts for her 2 grandchildren because she's left it too late she thinks it's 'just another day of the year' and nobody else needs a gift.

I sound like a right whingebag reading that back but I genuinely LOVE christmas and love choosing gifts for everyone I care about and spoiling my DP and all the kids and I love seeing all the smiles on everyones faces on Christmas Day. Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside :)

OP posts:
happygilmore · 18/12/2011 18:54

Sorry I know I've hijacked the OP's thread by my own ranting, I don't normally do that. But I've had so many people just tell me to "be positive" when my life is gradually going down the pisser, it hits a nerve.

nikon1968 · 18/12/2011 18:54

Anyway off to a Christmas party now.

Cheers.

nikon1968 · 18/12/2011 18:55

Ah so I am not the only one to say it........................I was just the one who got the rant.

claig · 18/12/2011 18:56

Merry Christmas, nikon1968 and enjoy the party. I love Christams too.

EnjoyResponsiblyIfSleighFlying · 18/12/2011 18:56

Kerist can you imagine Nikon if she doesn't get what's on her list Xmas Grin

Gilmore, I'll use my Christmas wish that 2012 sees an upturn in your fortunes xx

EauDeLaPoisson · 18/12/2011 19:00

Wow you are such a caring empathetic soul aren't you Nikkon? So glad your love of christmas overides all your feelings of compassion for your fellow man (or woman!!)

happygilmore · 18/12/2011 19:02

Thanks Enjoy, that is kind of you.

Nikon I can definitely say you are the only person who has told me that I need to just be grateful I have a bed and food, and indeed that I like to tell other people about my woes. Thanks for that Xmas Smile

PrincessSugarPlum · 18/12/2011 19:03

I love Christmas!!

Got bored reading people moaning and griping.

OP - YANBU. I know exactly what you mean about it making you feel warm and gooey!! I love sitting with the Christmas lights on, some presents for my family round the tree (I'm looking forward to seeing their faces when they open them), the Christmas candle smelling lovely and my DH - both of us getting excited!!

Roll on Christmas!!

valiumredhead · 18/12/2011 19:06

I don't buy into this 'you HAVE to be happy just because it's Christmas' way of thinking - if you have had an utterly shit year like gilmore it is not realistic to prance about full of joy for the sake of one day! Some years are bad, some are good - that's life. And people that tend to harp on about looking on the positive side of things etc usually haven't had anything really shit happen to them.

gilmore what a bloody awful year x

Crosshair · 18/12/2011 19:06

Nikon sounds unhinged. Xmas Confused

Yabu, fair enough if you love it, but have abit of understanding for the people who don't.

happygilmore · 18/12/2011 19:09

My mum/brother didn't die this year (in fairness, I'd probably have jumped off a bridge if they had) sorry if I implied that. I was trying to say they weren't here anymore and you feel that loss much more at Christmas. Mum died at Christmas though, so it's always a reminder.

Anyway, sorry for hijacking - I'm off to channel my inner Nikon and chant "I am lucky" four hundred times before bed.

valiumredhead · 18/12/2011 19:13

Yes gilmore and next time you make a cuppa be grateful for that milk you have in your fridge Wink

happygilmore · 18/12/2011 19:14

Xmas Grin Will do Xmas Grin

MadamTwoSwords · 18/12/2011 19:16

nikon do jog on theres a dear. How you can even dare to be so patronising is beyond me. I really hope you don't do ever have a shit year like Gilmore as I think it would wipe the smugness from your chops.

Op I am also not in the Xmas spirit at all after 2 years of hell, I have no idea what 2012 will bring but am attempting to make it as nice as possible for my 20 month old DD. I do hope that's acceptable.

Mrsrobertduvall · 18/12/2011 19:17

The stereotypical view of christmas being a time when huge families get together for a wonderful time over food and wine, no arguments, etc sounds great but it's not like that for most people .
My parents are dead.......i have a brother wholives 300 miles away, a sister I havem't seen for 12 years.
There's just the 4 of us for xmas...this year only 2 as ds and dh are off to Oz on the 25th ...dd can't travel.

We will have a very quiet time just the 2 of us...not a turkey, mince pie or pud in sight.

What I hate is the fact the build up to xmas is sale, sale, sale......shops are open Boxing DAy ( I spent 15 years in retail management and had 1/2 days off if I was lucky which stopped me travelling home to see my family).
The panic buying of food, as if we are all going to starve ........and the feeling that we haven't bought enough for children.

I hate the enforced idea that on 25th we all have to be jolly.
And don't get me started on New Year.

KarenMillenCoat · 18/12/2011 19:24

I love Christmas! My father is a humbug and used to ruin it for the rest of the family with his negativity and bad moods when I was a child so as an adult I make sure we all have an especially lovely time and spoil the children. Over compensating? Probably. But I really, really enjoy it! Grin

StealthPenguin · 18/12/2011 19:24

YANBU.

I absolutely adore Christmas and I'd be perfectly happy if I got absolutely no presents whatsoever. I love the hustle and bustle of shops, the way every shop assistant greets you with a smile on their face, an elf hat on their head and a "Merry Christmas" on the lips. I love the surprise my family and friends have scrawled across their face because I'm absolutely amazing at buying presents and I know for a fact that every present I've bought is special in its own way. I love the decorations, the sparkle, the frost, the promises of snow that almost never come true, the advent calendars, the sense of occasion, buying the wrapping paper, cutting off little strips of sellotape and sticking it to my nose until I'm ready to use it.

I love the general happiness that goes with Christmas. There's magic in the air because everyone knows that a special time is coming.

And then there's the Turkey or the Roast Goose with vegetables, stuffing, gravy, sausages in bacon, three different kinds of potatoes and cranberry sauce. I love the chocolate Yule Log, Christmas Pudding, the crisp feeling you get in the air when you have to shrug your shoulders and put your hands in your pockets, watching your breath rise up into the air and then disappear, looking at all of the beautiful lights that someone has taken the time to display, the sense of togetherness that you get at Christmas, ice skating in Winter Wonderland, getting out your sled just in case it actually does snow over Christmas, making the very first footprints in a snow drift, Snow angels, Hot chocolate and Baileys, Mulled wine served in little German shacks on the High Street, settling down somewhere warm and enjoying that feeling you get when you just step into your slippers, looking at someone you love with wild hair from the wind and rosy cheeks from the cold, getting the family together to put the Christmas Tree up, curling up next to a roaring fire in your pajamas, waking up extremely early on Christmas Morning because even though you're old and boring you still hope that Santa has brought you a stocking, singing Christmas Carols with friends, pulling Christmas Crackers, telling the godawful jokes that go with it, trying to fit a silly paper hat on top of your head, having a play on everyone elses presents, playing boardgames in the afternoon because you're too full to do anything else, getting out your hats and mittens and scarves for another year and bundling everyone up in their coats so you can all go to the church service on Christmas Eve.

I've tried my best to explain this to so many people nowadays, and the only reply I ever get is "That just sounds boring". I did once get some twat saying that it's too much of a religious holiday for him and that he'd be happier if it were just another day, because religion has no place in the world today.

People are too cynical nowadays. Why can't you just be happy for something? And even if you aren't happy about something, there's no bloody reason for you to be such a Debbie Downer towards people who actually do care about this wonderful holiday.

Mrsrobertduvall · 18/12/2011 19:28

That to me sounds so idyllic stealthpenguin...but it's just not like that for most people.

StealthPenguin · 18/12/2011 19:32

It's almost never like that for me either - something goes wrong every year!

But we make the most of it. We do our best. Last year DP's granddad was given less than a week to live - he's still with us. Even if we lost someone close to us, the fact that we still have someone we love a year later when they were given a godawful prognosis is a reason to celebrate. And even if he had passed away, he would have hated us sitting around being sad. Especially at Christmas.

Hulababy · 18/12/2011 19:36

OP - you seem to want everyone to have the type of Christmas that YOU like, doing the things that YOU feel are right and proper - even judging your own SIL for not giving her son the Christmas you think he should have.

FWI I love Christmas. We have a lovely time. I enjoy buying gifts for my family and friends, and I enjoy the excitement DD and her friends have around this time of year.

But we don't spend Christmas doing the things you seem to feel we should have to in order to enjoy it.

Christmas Day me, DH and DD always spend at home together. We have a lovely lovely Christmas. I can assure you that DD is not unhappy and has lots of fun with me and DH. This is a different day for us as we spend much of our other spare time busy, out and about, seeing people, etc. But Christmas Day is for us to be at home, enjoy one another's company, please purselves and have lots and lots of fun together.

I do love seeing my family, and Dh's family - we always see them on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. And we will see them on other days during Chrostmas week also, and we will speak to them on Christmas Day too, probably more than once. Likewise I will see friends before and after too.

And I have never been bothered about not seeing family and friends open their gifts - I don't need to watch them do this. I get pleasure from choosing and giving the gift, and enkoy the thanks afterwards.

Enjoy your Christmas in the way you like, but allow others to have the type of Christmas they want to have. There is no right and wrong way to celebrate Christmas, no one way is better than another.

ilovesooty · 18/12/2011 23:40

Oh yes, nikon I have those things. I just don't have anyone to spend Christmas with...

Forgive me if I'm not overflowing with gratitude.

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