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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sad with some peoples unenthusiasm for christmas??

146 replies

covermeup · 18/12/2011 11:06

I'm so tired of hearing people say 'it's just another day of the year' 'we won't be changing our normal daily routine' 'we can't be bothered to buy each other gifts' etc etc. Christmas is the one day of the year where you buy gifts for the people you care about to show them they are loved and appreciated!!! It makes me so sad that some people aren't bothered about seeing their family, having a nice dinner, playing some games and opening gifts for ONE day of the year!!

I know some people genuinely can't afford presents but all of the people that I know who moan about the money can! EVERYBODY knows Christmas is going to come around in December so why wait until the week before and then panic?! If every couple put away £20/£30 a month from January - November they would then have £220/£330 for Christmas! Most people wouldn't even notice the moneys gone!

It's sad that we won't be seeing DNeph (14mo) opening his present because Sil only wants to go to her inlaws for lunch and then spend the rest of the day at home by themselves. And Mil is only buying gifts for her 2 grandchildren because she's left it too late she thinks it's 'just another day of the year' and nobody else needs a gift.

I sound like a right whingebag reading that back but I genuinely LOVE christmas and love choosing gifts for everyone I care about and spoiling my DP and all the kids and I love seeing all the smiles on everyones faces on Christmas Day. Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside :)

OP posts:
Original poster
covermeup · 18/12/2011 11:40

Yes I do understand that It can be a very stressful time for people. I am from a seperated family and we were also bereaved 5 years ago. And although we make time to think about the people that can't be with us (we go to the graveyard in the morning and every single year I wish more and more that they could be with here) that doesn't stop us enjoying the rest of the day with the people around us.

I wasn't really expecting to be shot to pieces on this thread. There are so many other threads with people sharing their christmas excitement and happiness, maybe i'll go join one of those...

OP posts:
5318hoho8 · 18/12/2011 11:41

I think you wanted us to fluff up your feathers a bit

sorry about that

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 18/12/2011 11:41

I used to LOVE Christmas.

I don't anymore.

I don't need to explain myself to you, nor does anyone else. Get on with your own life and mind your own bloody business about how others choose to spend it.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 18/12/2011 11:42

The important people in my life know how much i love them.

I don't brew Christmas day to tell them

And considering I'm yet to buy my mums gift and I have 11p in my account, please tell me how I'm supposed to do that

michglas · 18/12/2011 11:42

Must be wonderful OP, to sit in your ivory tower and cast judgement on people who, for whatever reason, can't muster up the energy or inclination to be excited about Christmas.

I would actually quite like to take DD2 volunteering on Christmas day, as i know she would get so much joy out of helping others, but DD1 would deeply protest.

MilkNoSugarPlease · 18/12/2011 11:42

brew need

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 11:43

You weren't 'shot to pieces' OP, you asked for views and got them. That you don't like the views is symptomatic of your lack of awareness of how others live rather than posting on AIBU.

But, in an effort to be nice, there is a 'Christmas' thread on the 'Chat board'... over there >>>

Happy Christmas! Xmas Grin

Original poster
covermeup · 18/12/2011 11:44

If you read back over my posts you'll see how many times i've said I'm not judging anybody I don't know so none of you have any reason to feel judged!!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 18/12/2011 11:44

YABU. I hate Christmas and I don't see why I should pretend to like it. My mother is in a home, and my sister made it clear I wasn't invited (not that I'd have wanted to go if I had been).

And on Friday we were told at work and redundancy consultations will start in the New Year.

There are many for whom Christmas isn't much fun at all.

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 11:44

I'm not shooting you to pieces and I'm the last person to not want to spread Christmas cheer....I'm a bigger kid than my kids are and I have my own chocolate Advent calendar Xmas Grin

I'm glad your trip to the graveyard doesn't stop you enjoying the rest of the day with the people around you....but just remember it's not like that for everyone...some people won't even have others around them.

Therefore, it's great that you enjoy Christmas, but please don't judge others for not sharing your enthusiasm.

michglas · 18/12/2011 11:45

Additionally, those other threads where people are getting excited aren't about casting judgement on others. Those that are dreading christmas would avoid those threads if they chose. This thread was aimed at casting dispersions on people who hadn't put money aside every month so they can buy tacky BOGOF or 3for2. Do you realise how many of those presents end up being sold at car boot fairs?

daenerysstormborn · 18/12/2011 11:45

covermeup, you just posted your thread in the wrong place, it should be in 'christmas', in aibu threads always court controversy.

ilovesooty · 18/12/2011 11:46

I wasn't really expecting to be shot to pieces on this thread

I think you were a little naive then.

Original poster
covermeup · 18/12/2011 11:49

Yes, definately naive. First time posting in AIBU.

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 18/12/2011 11:50

YABU Some people don't have 30 quid to put away for Christmas for starters. I'd concentrate on your own family and stop worrying about what other people do or don't do.

5318hoho8 · 18/12/2011 11:50

I'm a bit surprised that OP doesn't have nice dinners the rest of the year

(re-read OP)

Obv I'm poking with a pointy stick now

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 11:50

OP... You said this: And although we make time to think about the people that can't be with us (we go to the graveyard in the morning and every single year I wish more and more that they could be with here) that doesn't stop us enjoying the rest of the day with the people around us.

Sounded a bit like 'get over yourself and enjoy the day'...

I too enjoy Christmas in so far as spending time with the family and not having to work. Post a 'festive cheer' thread perhaps? Other posters who have fewer reasons to be cheerful will hopefully swerve it and you'll get the diehard santas instead of the grinches posting on it.

[stops off to plant a festive smacker on Worra.. Xmas Grin]

sweetsantababy · 18/12/2011 11:50

YANBU. I agree except for the bit about your DN, we choose where we will be at christmas, this year at home, just us and our 3 DDs. It is a purley selfish emotion to want to see the look on other people's DCs when they open their presents.gets my goat

Otherwise I love christmas and don't find it stressful really, usually save up all year, do bulk of presents by mid november, food by M&S - lovley and relaxing.

Heleninahandcart · 18/12/2011 11:53

YABVU. Many people get into debt trying to have the perfect Xmas. Others become victims of domestic abuse. Others are desperately sad and lonely, even with family. Many, many put a smile on their faces and struggle through for the sake of DCs.

You sound smug and a bit shallow

spiderpig8 · 18/12/2011 11:56

OP your post is so naive ,I really don't know where to start!

SugarAndSpiceMistletoeAndWine · 18/12/2011 11:57

YANBU. I love christmas, despite some mixed memories of it growing up. We are moving house and I haven't been working for a few months (new job starts Jan 1st) but christmas is still being celebrated here! Going to light switch ons, carol services etc costs us nothing. We are having a normal roast dinner with our family, not splashing out. I find it sad that you are being flamed .

Merry christmas!

WorraLiberty · 18/12/2011 11:59
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 12:01

Haha... I knew you would, Worra Xmas WinkXmas Grin

KittyFane · 18/12/2011 12:04

You were judging O.P.

It makes me so sad that some people aren't bothered about seeing their family, having a nice dinner, playing some games and opening gifts for ONE day of the year!!

Are you really so naive? People enjoy different things. I love Christmas with my family but many people want to do other things. For example, NOTHING on this earth would drag my Mil from her home, films, peace and quiet on Christmas day. She refuses to do anything else. She stocks up on chocolate, mince pies and dinner and hibernates. We see her on boxing day.
It may seem weird to you but she wants it like that.

ShellyBoobs · 18/12/2011 12:04

...you'll see how many times i've said I'm not judging anybody I don't know so none of you have any reason to feel judged!!

That made me laugh out loud.

Saying you're not judging anybody does not mean you're actually 'not judging anybody'. You're very much judging people by their actions, in not being into Christmas.

We're very lucky in that we can afford to do as we wish at Christmas and that this time of year doesn't hold any particular bad memories to dampen the spirit for us.

Having said that, I'm actually starting to really resent the commercialisation, expecially in these times of financial woe for so many. It brings nothing but misery to those who aren't able to throw money around and whose DCs will feel left out.

Before judging people who can't afford to save £20/30 per month to waste on presents, think about the message being given to their children: Santa won't bring presents if you haven't been a good girl/boy. Great, so not only can their families not afford presents, they're given the message that it's because they're naughty.