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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sad with some peoples unenthusiasm for christmas??

146 replies

covermeup · 18/12/2011 11:06

I'm so tired of hearing people say 'it's just another day of the year' 'we won't be changing our normal daily routine' 'we can't be bothered to buy each other gifts' etc etc. Christmas is the one day of the year where you buy gifts for the people you care about to show them they are loved and appreciated!!! It makes me so sad that some people aren't bothered about seeing their family, having a nice dinner, playing some games and opening gifts for ONE day of the year!!

I know some people genuinely can't afford presents but all of the people that I know who moan about the money can! EVERYBODY knows Christmas is going to come around in December so why wait until the week before and then panic?! If every couple put away £20/£30 a month from January - November they would then have £220/£330 for Christmas! Most people wouldn't even notice the moneys gone!

It's sad that we won't be seeing DNeph (14mo) opening his present because Sil only wants to go to her inlaws for lunch and then spend the rest of the day at home by themselves. And Mil is only buying gifts for her 2 grandchildren because she's left it too late she thinks it's 'just another day of the year' and nobody else needs a gift.

I sound like a right whingebag reading that back but I genuinely LOVE christmas and love choosing gifts for everyone I care about and spoiling my DP and all the kids and I love seeing all the smiles on everyones faces on Christmas Day. Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside :)

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 14:37

Bloody hell, sheepgomeep. Will you get any of it back from Park? :(

dazeycat · 18/12/2011 14:37

I hope you have a lovely Christmas OP Xmas Smile, despite this thread.

streakybacon · 18/12/2011 14:45

YABU.

I used to be Christmas personified. Used to start in October with baking cakes, biscuits, mince pies etc - even made my own chocolates for Christmas. Shopped year round to buy thoughtful presents for all and sundry. It was my absolute favourite time of the year.

The last three Christmases have been utter shite.

2008 I'd just taken my autistic son out of school to home ed after he'd been utterly neglected for years, and spent Christmas preparing for my mum's house move to sheltered housing (far more emotional and challenging than one might imagine).

2009 my mum had just died weeks earlier. I spent Christmas clearing her lovely new flat and sorting out her estate.

2010 my sister died suddenly and unexpectedly from late diagnosed ovarian cancer and I spent Christmas day ambulancing her back to hospital, knowing that she would soon die. My bells weren't exactly jingling that day.

It would be lovely to make the effort to see my family but hey-ho, there's none of my birth family left but me. Bit of a bugger really.

This year I've done the tree and shopping and a bit of baking but try as I might I haven't got the kind of Christmas spirit I'd like to have. It's shit. I don't want it to be Christmas, and I resent being told that I'm not jolly enough or not trying hard enough.

Not realising that other people have reasons not to feel Christmassy is a bit selfish, if you don't mind my saying so.

sheepgomeep · 18/12/2011 14:52

no because I had no receipts or anything like that. Ive had vouchers from her before and i trusted her Sad

I have had some back..from her sisters mum who was horrified at what she had done but I'm about 300 pounds down.

I just cant get into the swing of xmas at all. And Im now even further in debt because of it

madmomma · 18/12/2011 14:56

If you've got large credit card debts at high interest rates because you can't manage without them,(a situation plenty of people are in, for various reasons) then it's pretty stupid to be 'putting something by for Christmas'

AnotherMincepie · 18/12/2011 14:58

YANBU. People have the whole of the rest of the year to be miserable!

EnjoyResponsiblyIfSleighFlying · 18/12/2011 14:58

I love Christmas, I get a fluttery feeling in my tummy on Christmas Eve.

But today I stood in my studio and cried while a made a grave decoration for my auntie who lost her DS.

I feel quite humble this afternoon that I will be having a Christmas with my wonderful family. God bless all of you who have an empty chair.

LingDiLong · 18/12/2011 15:11

OP, I'm assuming you have some issues with your ILs? I find it very strange that you think you know better than your SIL what her 14 month old would enjoy the most on Christmas Day? As a mother of an 18 month old I can attest to how much hard work it is being in another person's house with a small toddler/baby, no babyproofing, no favourite toys, having to lug highchairs/nappies etc. Your SIL probably DOES want to enjoy Christmas Day and this is why she's opted to stay at home. I'm really surprised you think this is somehow lacking in Christmas spirit.

Your MIL is making the effort for her grandchildren and, as others have said, Christmas isn't about the gifts and money spent so why does it matter if she's not buying for adults? My MIL never buys for us either, it's never bothered me.

Do you honestly think other people should pretend to love Christmas for YOUR sake? Christmas isn't everybody's cup of tea, that doesn't make them miserable sods or mean they don't care about their family.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 15:11

sheepgomeep... I'm gutted for you, that's an awful thing to happen. I suppose that the money that you managed to get back will help a bit but can understand that your Christmas spirit is damaged. I really hope that you get that remaining money back somehow.

SleighFlying... Me too. That's so sad.

minimisschief · 18/12/2011 15:15

cannot get over how uptight people are in here

christmas is great no matter how much money you have. Cheer up people

HidingInTheUndergrowth · 18/12/2011 15:17

Yay anothermincepie. Enforced fun! That's certainly what I class as a ke imgredient for a good time. You may be surprised to hear that I spend the whole of the rest of the year having a super great fun time, it is just Christmas day that I spend being miserable :o

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 15:18

OP would have done better to just say, "I'm so excited/happy that it's Christmas, AIBU?". That would have got a completely different response.

Mincepie... People who don't enjoy Christmas, for whatever reason, usually have their reasons and whilst they might make the best of it for the sake of other people, they don't feel it in their hearts. To say something like "they have the rest of the year to be miserable" is really ignorant. Should people paste on fake smiles and pretend jolliness they don't feel for the sake of Christmas? You're just as judgemental as the OP to people who don't feel the same way. Live and let live without labelling them as 'miserable', maybe, or does your Christmas spirit not extend quite that far?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2011 15:19

minimisschief... so patronising and condescending, all in one pointless post. Wow.

Heleninahandcart · 18/12/2011 15:29

Live and let live without labelling them as 'miserable', maybe, or does your Christmas spirit not extend quite that far?

Well said lying.

Laquitar · 18/12/2011 15:33

This becomes a bit like Valentines Day! Or 'enforced fun' as Hiding said.

sheepgomeep · 18/12/2011 15:37

minimischeif.. a friend lost her 4 year old daughter on christmas day to a tragic accident. Do you really think christmas is great for that family eh.

Christmas is not great for everyone. It just isnt.

LordOfTheFlies · 18/12/2011 15:46

I grew up with a mother who couldn't be bothered with Christmas (still can't but now we have all grown up).My parents are very religious so they see Christmas from that perspective.
Fair enough, but as a child to hear "Oh, I wish it was Boxing Day/I wish it was all over". , was really sad.
She never cooked Christmas Dinner, it was left to a family friend or later, me to cook.
I always felt as a child we didn't deserve Christmas (and bear in mind it was much lower key). There were no decorations unless we did them, but we did get presents.

Now I work with mainly elderly people, I hear "I hate Christmas" over and over again.Hate is a strong word.
I think 'fine, but don't spoil it for those who do enjoy it'.

TiggyD · 18/12/2011 15:48

It?s Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas (Half Man Half Biscuit)

Now how did I guess
You were going to express
Your disdain at the crane
With the bright fairy lights
And you moan at the snow
?Cos your car wouldn?t go
Oh it?s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas

You don?t have a tree
And your smile has a fee
All the same, here?s a card
For your boring facade
Jingle Bells, piney smells
All the boys and the girls
Say it?s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas
Oh it?s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas

See how we yawn
At your bile and your scorn
It?s a beautiful day
Peace on Earth has been played
Make a noise with your toys
And ignore the killjoys
?Cos it?s cliched
To be cynical
At Christmas

TiggyD · 18/12/2011 15:49

YANBU BTW IMHO

york80 · 18/12/2011 15:49

Normally I am the 1st to get exited about Christmas. However, as others have this this year I will be going through the motions. This will be my first Christmas without my parents and I am dreading it. Lost mum this year.
Will obv make the best of it for dc but so sad that mum is not longer with us. MIL is ok but it's not the same.

ToxicMoxie · 18/12/2011 16:02

I'm not a Christian, so it's pretty hard to get excited about it. I do however, like snow and treats. But I also enjoy going to the local Indian restaurant for Christmas dinner of saag paneer and the naan. Ooh, and kheer!

Personally, I think loved one's birthdays are more fun...

lobatteries · 18/12/2011 16:09

YABU and it can often be something other than the money - memories you are not aware of, something else coming up etc.

Eddings · 18/12/2011 16:14

My first ever comment on MN (normally just a lurker)

Due to a abusive childhood where things always got worse at Christmas (also never had tree/decorations etc but a mountain of very expensive gifts) I find it so stressfull (I was told last year by my therapist that I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome). One of the hardest things to cope with is this expectation that everyone should love Christmas & that you are a bit of a freak if you dont. I do make a effort for my children but that is it, I am almost 40 & think I should be able to move but cant..

I'm not having a go OP but think you need to realise for some people its just not as easy as sharing gifts & eating a nice meal so maybe give those who dont enjoy it for whatever reason a break.. I do however wish everyone a very happy Christmas

FriendofDorothy · 18/12/2011 16:22

YABU. The fact that I am not yet pregnant despite a while of TTC is making Christmas seem rather pointless and soulless this year. This time last year I thought we would be pregnant or have a baby this Christmas. The reality of it not happening is disappointing, especially when Christmas is so focussed on children. It's just hard to be cheerful sometimes.

teacoupons · 18/12/2011 16:27

DP is like this. He hates everything Christmas is about. He's not excited, hates gifts and gift giving, doesn't spoil us or believes we should be and wants to cancel it. He has his man period every December. I love our DC's face.lighting up, he hates it.

Considering kicking him out of the house at Christmas. His Christmas present can be the pub, the fucking Scrooge.