to be sad with some peoples unenthusiasm for christmas??

[covermeup]

I'm so tired of hearing people say 'it's just another day of the year' 'we won't be changing our normal daily routine' 'we can't be bothered to buy each other gifts' etc etc. Christmas is the one day of the year where you buy gifts for the people you care about to show them they are loved and appreciated!!! It makes me so sad that some people aren't bothered about seeing their family, having a nice dinner, playing some games and opening gifts for ONE day of the year!!

I know some people genuinely can't afford presents but all of the people that I know who moan about the money can! EVERYBODY knows Christmas is going to come around in December so why wait until the week before and then panic?! If every couple put away £20/£30 a month from January - November they would then have £220/£330 for Christmas! Most people wouldn't even notice the moneys gone!

It's sad that we won't be seeing DNeph (14mo) opening his present because Sil only wants to go to her inlaws for lunch and then spend the rest of the day at home by themselves. And Mil is only buying gifts for her 2 grandchildren because she's left it too late she thinks it's 'just another day of the year' and nobody else needs a gift.

I sound like a right whingebag reading that back but I genuinely LOVE christmas and love choosing gifts for everyone I care about and spoiling my DP and all the kids and I love seeing all the smiles on everyones faces on Christmas Day. Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside :)

YANBU - not totally.

Its good for us to have something positive to focus on, even in a really bad time. My gran died on Christmas Day itself - and every year yep I have a cry for her, but I know she wouldnt have wanted me to be sad so for her sake I try not to.

The first year after, I didnt put up a tree, it felt too much, but the year after that, DH very gently suggested we should have one and we went and bought it and things moved on. Sometimes its still too raw, but for most of us, it should be a time to appreciate those who are still around, and remember those who arent - and I know people will say we should do that every day, but that doesnt mean its a bad thing to have something to remind us and let us express it.

I think YABU for thinking that a special Christmas has to be linked to Christmas. Dp and I do not buy for each other, even though we could afford to simply because we are not interested in getting stuff. I do spend time making things that dp likes, it is a time that I can dedicate to my family and he also makes an effort to do little things for me.

Even though we do not do gifts Christmas is an incredibly important time and I spend most of Autumn getting ready.

YABU. I am sure I'm not the only one who feels stressed and anxious about Christmas. Trying to fit present buying, card writing, baking, food shopping etc around work, a DH with flu, Quality Time with the children (both pre-school) is a massive headache. I started weeks ago and still haven't finished present buying. I've run out of money, time, inspiration and the will to live.

I do suffer from anxiety and agonise over every present and never feel like the perfect wife and mum, Christmas magnifies this 100x.

I'll enjoy a week off with the family and the DDs opening their presents but on the whole Christmas is a load of pressure and stress I could do without.

I am with the OP...... I love Christmas and everything about it.

I do think how you look at Christmas stems back to your childhood.

I had a great Christmas every year. I am working on Boxing Day but hey thats my job and I am not going to get down over it.

Christmas day will be with my family and be presents, drinks, big lunch and games afterwards then more food.

I also do not understand how people get stressed over it.......all you have to do is buy some presents and some food.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE..................even the grumps !!

My beloved Grandad who always played a huge part in christmas for us all passed away yesterday. I do apologise if I for one am not jumping through hoops about christmas right now.

Only read the OP, but who made you the boss of everything?

I love my baby more than I ever thought possible, haven't bought her anything much for Christmas, so what. It hardly makes someone a bad parent!

Christmas is important to some people and not others, what is so hard to understand about that?

And it's actually not being grumpy to dislike Christmas, I fucking hate it. I'm seriously ill, my mother died three days before Christmas and our families are fucked up. We have a baby to care for and struggle with day to day shit, never mind extra expectations from others that we have to "have a great Christmas".

Fuck that.

The OP didnt say you did'nt love you baby..............................not that I have read anyway.

Blimey ''tis the season to be jolly'' not in HAPPY gilmores house...............ho ho ho

I hate the stress of trying to appease in-laws on xmas day. I hate that I don't have enought money to buy my kids exactly what they want (they are 11, 14 and 19). I dont save 20-30 pounds a month because I can't afford to!! I and DH have just enough coming in to cover bills and essentials each month. I hate going into shops trying to find presents when "I wish it could be xmas every day" is blaring out ...because I really don't!

However...I like The Nativities at school and our Senior school's Carol Concert in Church. I like to put up the xmas tree....but I'm glad to take it down again after 2 weeks. Why do people put theirs up in November??

And I look forward to the Doctor Who xmas special on TV!!

"Christmas is the one day of the year where you buy gifts for the people you care about to show them they are loved and appreciated!!!"

Er, no it isn't, not for me anyway!

I genuinely LOVE Christmas too, sounds silly but it really does seem a magical time of year, I love candlelit carol services, mince pies and wine, the frosty weather, going for walks and seeing the trees and decorations, the feeling of the light being reborn and the year turning etc. BUT - I'm not at all bothered about giving/receiving presents, at least for adults, I don't see the point and it seems to just create stress and unnecessary expense for most people, and often it's a case of buying 'stuff' just for the sake of it, which the recipient doesn't really want or need.

And happiness and closeness with your family/friends depends a lot more on how you behave towards them for the rest of the year, not on one day. If someone doesn't like doing particular things on Christmas day, it doesn't automatically make them a misery, it just means they don't happen to have exactly the same set of likes and dislikes as you. Many people have personal reasons for not feeling particularly joyful around Christmastime - loneliness, bereavement, bad childhood memories etc.

Blimey ''tis the season to be jolly'' not in HAPPY gilmores house...............ho ho ho

No you're right it isn't jolly in my house nikon. It's actually filled with tears most days, but thanks for the sarcasm.

I am sorry to hear that but everybody has to focus on what they have got and not what is missing.

Do you have a place to sleep that is not outside?

Have you eaten today?

Do you have milk in the fridge?

It is the simple things.

I do, you're right I just need to buck my ideas up and be grateful for what I've got. Thanks for that, this Christmas is going to be brilliant after all

nikon... How about you stop telling people what YOU think is important and being so patronising and dismissive? You love Christmas? Great! Let other people do things their way, it doesn't impact on your life one iota.

I'm coming back to have a rant.

So what you're saying, nikon, is that unless you don't have enough food to eat, or a bed to sleep in, you can't feel down, sad, depressed? What the actual fuck? I hope you don't ever have bad things happen in your life, and expect people to listen to you talk about your problems, without just dismissing them.

I don't see why I, or anyone else, should drag up all the tough things that have happened to them, just to prove a point. But, for the record, I have never ever had as tough a year as this, with rare illness, incompetence, surgery and never ending hospital fuck ups. Frankly I would rather not carry on at all, but have to for my daughter. I'll bear in mind that I just need to be a bit more fucking grateful next time I'm sad, eh? It's the simple things!

I like buying the perfect gift for people as I like giving but I do that through the year anyway
I hate the material aspect of Christmas and the culture of alcohol and food gone mad, to me it's not what Christmas is about
It's all irrelevant anyway as I am working Christmas eve, Christmas day, boxing day and all of new year so no, I'm not feeling very festive as I would prefer to be with my family

Ditto that no one knows what my life is like but I always look on the bright side..................

Well you fucking tell me what bright side there is, becuase I've actually lost my positivity just now. Oh yeah, I've got a house, bed and some food. What a patronising load of shite.

I will bow out of this thread I don't want a bun fight so close to the merry season.

I have no parents anymore, mother died at xmas.
Brother also dead.
Made redundant this year, career effectively now ruined.
Have suffered serious brain injury, lost most of my daughter's babyhood due to rare/serious illness.
Lost my beloved cat.
No longer well enough to look after my daughter, not enough money for childcare.
No family support, no friends nearby.
DH on brink of breakdown because of pressures on us.
Suffering from such rare illness have no idea which dr to see to help, after experiencing serious professional misconduct that put my life in danger.

I could go on but why should I? I just need to look on the bright side and be positive.

Last word is

you are alive have a husband and a beautiful daughter who deserves all the love you have.

Nikon stop pissing on other people's chips, there's a needy dear.

Interesting word check changed merry to needy.

What is your problem nikon? I'm sure there are some activities and occasions that other people enjoy and you're not so keen on? So if you enjoy celebrating Christmas then get on with it and I really do hope you have a lovely time. But if someone else doesn't feel like joining in with the festivities - why on earth do you care? Especially when it's complete strangers on the internet!

I don't care not one jot...............................but I am allowed to reply to the Op if others don't agree what makes them right and me wrong?

So if you don't feel like joining in DON'T !

bUT THEN SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO TELL OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT ALL THEIR WOES.........