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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to demand DH put dangerous things out of DS's reach?

150 replies

sprinkles77 · 17/12/2011 13:47

DS is 21 months and obviously very inquisitive and an agile climber. This morning I found him playing with a box of paracetamol that DH had left on his desk. I suspect they taste too nasty for him to actually eat, but you never know, and he could certainly choke on one. This happens fairly frequently, also with coins. DH was at work, I had no idea they were there and I was in the shower. I am beyond livid. I phoned him at work to bollock him. I warned him, as I have done before, that if I have to call from intensive care or worse still the morgue, he won't be seeing either or us ever again. Why do I have to be the only one taking responsibility for DS's safety?

OP posts:
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom · 17/12/2011 13:49

Cos going in the shower with a 21 month old loose in the house is really responisble Hmm
Not to detract from your DH leaving poison lying about, but perhaps DH thought that you could keep DS away from his desk? You both need to be taking babyproofing more seriously from the sound of it. Are you positive DS hasn't swallowed any of the paracetamol?

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2011 13:50

The coins I can kind of understand him forgetting but the tablets...well there's no excuse!

I'd say you need to insist he buys the childproof bottles as a precaution.

YADNBU

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2011 13:51

Oh I hadn't spotted the part where you said DH was at work....and you let your toddler roam 'loose' while you showered?

That's never a good idea for all sorts of reasons.

squeakytoy · 17/12/2011 13:53

Buy a playpen, then when you are in the shower you know where your child is and that they are safe.

scaevola · 17/12/2011 13:54

You're both responsible, as equal adults.

So only tell him off if you are ready to behold off in turn for inadequate supervision. Or if you actually do want him to fall into the role of another child.

And buy a playpen.

valiumredhead · 17/12/2011 13:55

Did no one else nip in the shower quickly when they had toddlers then? I did - I became Queen of the 3 minute shower Grin

I have had similar conversations with dh OP, he was crap at leaving packets of pain killers around. I ended up putting locks on doors so I could limit where ds could go while I showered.

valiumredhead · 17/12/2011 13:56

Play pen for a 21 month old? Ha, my ds would've been put of that in 2 seconds flat Grin

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 13:57

i always let my lot roam while i shower.
my bathroom is barely big enough for me, let alone 1, 2 or 3 children as well!

i think it's common sense not to leave drugs etc where a small child can reach them isn't it? i'd be cross too

naturalbaby · 17/12/2011 13:58

if it's been an issue for a while then why do you think he keeps leaving things around that are dangerous for a toddler? he's not doing it on purpose is he? if your dh's desk is in a room where your toddler shouldn't be then close the door, if not then i don't see why you wouldn't have noticed if your toddler did.

i am a sahm and even though i don't expect to find that dh has left potentially dangerous items lying around, my baby and toddler are pretty much under my supervision 24/7 so i kind of take that as my role to keep an eye out for things they shouldn't have. i spend all day tidying up so they don't trip over toys and moving things out of reach.

Iggly · 17/12/2011 13:59

WTAF were you doing in the shower?! With a toddler on the rampage?!

Save showers for naps, evenings or when your Dh is home (I shower in the morning so we all get ready together).

Ultimately you both should be looking out for DS but you can't prevent every accident. If something happened to your DS which had nothing to do with something your DH had left out, you'd be to blame.

valiumredhead · 17/12/2011 14:03

I presume no one nips to the loo then? Or answers the door while their toddler is in the other room? Or pops out to get the washing in from the line? You are right by them at every given moment?

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 17/12/2011 14:06

I think you're all being a bit harsh on OP. I think her point is that he continues to be careless, and she can't be running round after DH aswell as the child, when DH is perfectly capable of doing these things himself, he is a responsible adult.
If she doesn't ask him to take responsibility for his own items or tidy up after himself she effectively has 2 children to look after.
YANBU Sprinkles, I'd be the same.

naturalbaby · 17/12/2011 14:06

when on earth do you lot get a shower/go to the toilet then?! i had 3 under 3 and even when i only had one he was not under my supervision every single second of every single day. i went through a phase of waiting for ds1's first nap of the day to have a shower but it just didn't work - we would never have left the house, he took ages to settle, didn't sleep for very long......

Feminine · 17/12/2011 14:09

vallium If they were not anchored (very small baby) they came everywhere with me.

Yes, to the front door, and pushed in their buggies to get the washing in.

My youngest is now 3 , I do nip to the loo now ...as she is that bit older. :)

phyllisdiller · 17/12/2011 14:11

I just thought leaving certain things out of reach was just generally accepted when you become a parent? ... medicine, pens, matches, scissors, hot drinks, alcohol, the list is long but you just do it.

Even if you are not in the shower you still need to turn your back occasionally!

susiedaisy · 17/12/2011 14:12

YANBU your husband needs to rethink his stance on safety.

valiumredhead · 17/12/2011 14:13

Quite phyl

Fem - my ds would've found that incredibly over bearing, he was very independant.

phyllisdiller · 17/12/2011 14:14

OMG...you push your DC's out to the washing line with you? I have 4 and under, I would quite literately get nothing done if I did that! I create a safe-ish environment for them to play in and let them get on with it, surely they like a bit of independent play.

SilentNotViolentNight · 17/12/2011 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilentNotViolentNight · 17/12/2011 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SanTEEClaus · 17/12/2011 14:30

Gosh I must be a horrible mummy as I leave my 2.6 year old for short bits of time as I do things around the house.

He does get put I his room behind a baby gate so I can shower or do other things, but if I am just nipping upstairs or out to the garage I leave him to it.

Of course I also have all medicine under lock and key and a sharp objects up high.

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2011 14:34

This is a 21 month old baby we're talking about, whose Dad has form for leaving dangerous things laying around the house.

It makes no sense not to take the baby to the shower room while the parent has a quick shower...that's if they have to shower while there is no-one to look after the baby.

lborolass · 17/12/2011 14:35

Do people really take their toddlers to the loo and to the washing line? How do they learn independance and sensible risk taking and judgement if they are never left alone? I can't imagine living like that.

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2011 14:37

I can't imagine it either but then again if tablets and other dangerous things were left around 'fairly frequently' it would make sense to me.

Feminine · 17/12/2011 14:37

No! phyl sorry ...I baby-proof as much as possible also.

My daughter has older brothers ,so I am very aware of the tiny bits they sometimes leave about.

All mine are/have been totally left to it , unless I leave the house or close a door.

We are almost totally open plan with a slightly dangerous staircase...

I have 4 years between mine , so that presents a slightly different set of hurdles than you I suppose :)