Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to demand DH put dangerous things out of DS's reach?

150 replies

sprinkles77 · 17/12/2011 13:47

DS is 21 months and obviously very inquisitive and an agile climber. This morning I found him playing with a box of paracetamol that DH had left on his desk. I suspect they taste too nasty for him to actually eat, but you never know, and he could certainly choke on one. This happens fairly frequently, also with coins. DH was at work, I had no idea they were there and I was in the shower. I am beyond livid. I phoned him at work to bollock him. I warned him, as I have done before, that if I have to call from intensive care or worse still the morgue, he won't be seeing either or us ever again. Why do I have to be the only one taking responsibility for DS's safety?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 14:41

so worra, you think it's the mums responsibility to take the baby with her wherever she goes, rather than just asking dad to stop leaving harmful things in reach?

Feminine · 17/12/2011 14:42

There is no right answer to this (apart from making things safe[wink} ) because we all live in totally different homes...

What I would have considered safe in one home might not work in the next.

All mine are very clever at getting out , I would rather have them with me ...then they run in to my road where I live now

It takes me 2 secs to shower, toilet ,or whatever ...not a massive disruption to the day for them and nor do they feel trapped!

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 14:43

2 seconds to shower?

RosemaryandThyme · 17/12/2011 14:46

This might sound a bit bonkers but with it being winter - could child wear a balaclarva around the house ? - less chance of them putting things in their mouth.

Feminine · 17/12/2011 14:48

thisis almost Wink

I get it warmed up ...hop in lather up, rinse, dry and get out.

Clothes are ready, I put them on ... and job is done!

My youngest is 3 now, so I don't have to live with such break-neck speeds anymore.

lborolass · 17/12/2011 14:49

Actually why stop at a balaclava, I'd suggest a fully fireproof suit as well for the spontaneous combustion which will inevitably take place once your child is out of your immediate sight.

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 14:51

so what are you worried that your child might do in 2 seconds??

Feminine · 17/12/2011 14:52

Iborolass Confused

do you not accept that most parents parent according to the home/environment they live?

Some homes can not be made totally child friendly ...we work with what we have.

Feminine · 17/12/2011 14:54

Oh DO ONE thisis you are nit picking!

My eldest is 13 , he is perfectly normal and well adjusted ...I am almost out of the small years -I *don't need your help.

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 14:55

how am i nit-picking?
i am genuinely curious as to what you think will happen to your child if you literally jump in and out of the shower??

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 14:56

and i'm not offering you help or suggesting your children are anything but well-adjusted am i?

Confused
Original poster
sprinkles77 · 17/12/2011 14:56

I have gone to huge lengths to baby proof. The kitchen has a gate. I put the chain on the front door as he can open that. All the cupboards and drawers have catches. Anything fragile or precious is put away or up high. Anything else that he can get at is annoying not dangerous. There's no point closing doors as DS opens them. Are some of you actually saying that you've never showered while your toddler was awake, unrestrained and while you were alone in the house? Or that its unreasonable to do so. And that if I don't want to do the same I should spend the first god knows how long after DH leaves the house checking up after him? Or that its unreasonable for him to undermine my safety measures, even if accidentally. Yes it is a joint responsibility, and while I'm alone with DS it's my responsibility alone. Which is why it's so fucking unfair that when DS has some horrific accident I will feel more guilty than my lazy thoughtless DH who yet again left something inappropriate somewhere inappropriate.

OP posts:
lborolass · 17/12/2011 14:59

Oh, was the balaclava a serious suggestion Grin

Of course we parent according to our circumstances but I don't see how never leaving your child alone can be a healthy way to live. Unless you have a house which is totally open plan and without storage there will be an way to ensure you can poo without an audience.

Feminine · 17/12/2011 15:00

thisis

Genuinely curious? my ass ...grow up!

RosemaryandThyme · 17/12/2011 15:02

A min-burka would do the job !

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 15:02

do you have issues feminine?

all i did was ask a question. you are, of course, free to read whatever you like into it. but i can assure you it was a genuine question.

i rather suspect however, that you simply don't have an answer. so it's easier to pretend I am someone being mean to you and have a big hissy fit than to just answer.

which is also fine!

Feminine · 17/12/2011 15:03

I have left my kids alone ...sometimes , sometimes not!

Goodness, I am so glad I have older children so I am given the luxury of seeing how fine they turn out ,even if they sometimes come to the loo with you!

bloody hell .. all you.mums trapped in the 2/3 year old word ...I have news for you ...they grow up

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 15:04

lol i feel like i'm in some kind of alternate universe.

what on earth has wound you up so much feminine??

lborolass · 17/12/2011 15:04

Suit of armour anyone?

Feminine · 17/12/2011 15:05

Look, thisis you know you were being difficult.

I am not going to argue with you.

For me, this was light hearted before you carried on and on...let it go!

MabelLucyAttwell · 17/12/2011 15:06

Why don't you shower when your child is in bed at night? Or before he gets up in the morning?

MmeLindor. · 17/12/2011 15:07

I have always left the DC to have a quick shower as long as I had checked there was nothing dangerous about the place.

OP
My friend's little girl spent a night in hospital after taking some of her dad's tablets. Very very scary. YANBU to expect him to put things away.

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 15:07

good grief. you really have a bee in your bonnet don't you?

i asked a simple question and you totally went off on one.

Feminine · 17/12/2011 15:08

I am wound up because I have older children.

With that, I am able to see that if you take them to the loo or don't , it makes very little difference in the long run.

All up in arms , wondering if you take them to the loo they will lack independence or never learn about their surroundings is laughable!

Look at my first posts ...I was totally happy.

thisisyesterday · 17/12/2011 15:09

i think you'll find quite a few of us have older children.