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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So we all know not to use disabled toilets, but what about disabled fitting rooms in shops?

118 replies

PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 20:45

Today I went in to M&S to try to buy some new bras (I know, big mistake, but there are only 2 shops that do bras in town). I had DD with me (18mo) in the buggy, in the fitting rooms the lady looked at the buggy and immediately said she didn't know where I could try the bra on. I pointed to the empty large fitting room at the end and she said no, that it was only for disabled customers. I suggested the other empty large room, but she said no, that was for bra fitting only.

I said I was happy to go in a normal room but that I would have to keep the door open as it is too small for the door to close and I wasn't happy to leave DD unattended (I know some people are happy to do this but I'm not).

She then said I could go in the disabled fitting room but did a lot of tutting and sighing saying 'what if a disabled person comes in'. I told her she could knock on the door and I would come out as soon as I was decent.

I understand that priority for the larger access fitting rooms should be given to disabled customers but I hadn't realised that they were the same as disabled toilets. I understand why disabled toilets need to be only for disabled users only and I only use them if it is the only baby change facility and I have no other options.

So was I BU to want to use the larger fitting room?

OP posts:
roundcornsilkvirgin · 16/12/2011 20:46

just use a normal changing room and leave the door open

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 20:47

Sorry, far too many onlys in that last paragraph!

OP posts:
Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 20:47

Round I suggested that to her but she didn't think that was acceptable either.

OP posts:
BrianButterfield · 16/12/2011 20:47

Assistants usually show me to the larger changing room when I have the pram with me.

roundcornsilkvirgin · 16/12/2011 20:48

what a palava - she doesn't sound very helpful at all.

hiddenhome · 16/12/2011 20:49

I used to use the disabled fitting rooms when the dcs were in pushchairs. There's not that many disabled people going around waiting to use the fitting rooms tbh. I never exactly saw a queue when I came out of them.

I've also used disabled toilets in the past when I've had pushchairs to cope with or dcs with diarrhoea who need a lot of help. Again, I've never come out of one to find a disabled person waiting to go in after me.

IneedAChristmasNickname · 16/12/2011 20:49

I was always shown to the larger changing roomn when I had the pram.

sitandnatter · 16/12/2011 20:49

No problem with a mum who needs to see her baby using a disabled changing room so long as there is a genuine need. I would not let my baby out of my sight.

MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 20:50

If you don't want to leave DD unattended, take her out of the pushchair and into a cubicle. Then try on the bra.

AgentZigzag · 16/12/2011 20:51

I wondered about this too when I was waiting to try on some clothes, the disabled fitting room was empty but the people in the other ones were taking hours!

I didn't use it, mostly because of MN Blush

It's not really the same as toilets though is it? Why would someone who had a disability not be able to wait for the cubicle?

I think I'm one of those who just take it too far and give everyone else a bad name.

Another Blush

springboksaplenty · 16/12/2011 20:51

Nope. I do the same tbh. I'm not happy to leave ds outside of the cubicle and I haven't ever had a problem with shops allowing me in. I've always asked that if a disabled person comes in to let me now and i'll get out.

It's not the same as the loos which I can completely see why people object but changing rooms? Nope. I can get changed pretty sharpish but I'm not leaving my ds out in his buggy out of my view.

MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 20:51

YANBU though I don't see why you couldn't use the bigger room. But there are other ways.

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 20:52

MsEltoeNWhine Fri 16-Dec-11 20:50:39
If you don't want to leave DD unattended, take her out of the pushchair and into a cubicle. Then try on the bra.

No, I don't like M&S bras enough to bother with all that faff!! I'd rather leave it, but at least to not feel like I had been made to feel like a leper!

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 16/12/2011 20:52

A lot of people can't leave pushchairs unattended because they have other shopping hanging on it and you can't leave a baby rolling around on the floor in a cubicle Hmm and toddlers unlock the door when you're naked.

MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 20:54

Well I always take my DD in changing rooms with me. I don't find it a faff. If you do that's your choice. I did say YANBU, I don't see why you couldn't use the room but there isn't always one available.

hiddenhome · 16/12/2011 20:55

Why do disabled people need immediate access to the cubicles though? What if one disabled person was in the cubicle and another disabled person came along and wanted to use the cubicle? The second person would have to wait and take it in turn just as able bodied people do.

springboksaplenty · 16/12/2011 20:55

Sorry but I'm not getting changed in front of people. Yes I know no one cares about the way I look, but it took me a long time to get comfortable changing in front of my husband post pg, I'm not changing in front of strangers.

If a disabled person wants to use the changing room, I can be out in three minutes.

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 20:56

Hiddenhome TBH I don't mind if people see me naked. I normally take my double buggy into the normal ladies toilets, pick the one at the end and bring the buggy as much in as it will go and then do what I need to do with the door open, so not at all bothered about people seeing my boobs in a fitting room.

But, when I suggested just a single room with the door open she didn't think that was ok either.

I could have taken DD out of the buggy and gone into a regular room but like I said, I don't like M&S bras enough to warrant the effort, particularly when I feel so unwelcome there.

OP posts:
MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 20:57

Why can a baby not go on the floor in a cubicle. DD always did. Laid out, rolling, sat, stood, walking, fidgeting, shouting OOOOH BOOBIES. And so on. Can't see the problem really.

cantspel · 16/12/2011 20:58

I never knew people tried on bras before buying them. Isn't that a bit like trying on a pair of pants?

hiddenhome · 16/12/2011 20:58

I don't know how people can cope with taking their dcs out of the buggys and taking them into changing rooms Confused I could never have achieved that, they'd have either rolled away or escaped.

hiddenhome · 16/12/2011 20:59

Putting a baby on the floor? I'd have ended up treading on it Hmm They'd get all dusty and dirty too.

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:01

Cantspel I've lost a lot of weight post DC and keep having to buy bras in new sizes, I usually get measured (not in M&S though) and try on til I find one that fits my new size and shape. I thought everyone tries them on.

OP posts:
MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 21:01

Well I never took her out of the buggy as I never had a buggy with me. Bit of distraction, mirror usually sufficed she's very vain, a snack, toy, chatter, game, whatever. It's only for a few seconds you actually need the curtain closed whilst you do the necessary, usually.

sitandnatter · 16/12/2011 21:03

18 month old on the floor? Not a chance, it's dirty, they wriggle, they crawl. I am big on disabled rights as two family members are disabled but there has tobe some common sense applied too.

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