So we all know not to use disabled toilets, but what about disabled fitting rooms in shops?

[PengyQuinn]

Today I went in to M&S to try to buy some new bras (I know, big mistake, but there are only 2 shops that do bras in town). I had DD with me (18mo) in the buggy, in the fitting rooms the lady looked at the buggy and immediately said she didn't know where I could try the bra on. I pointed to the empty large fitting room at the end and she said no, that it was only for disabled customers. I suggested the other empty large room, but she said no, that was for bra fitting only.

I said I was happy to go in a normal room but that I would have to keep the door open as it is too small for the door to close and I wasn't happy to leave DD unattended (I know some people are happy to do this but I'm not).

She then said I could go in the disabled fitting room but did a lot of tutting and sighing saying 'what if a disabled person comes in'. I told her she could knock on the door and I would come out as soon as I was decent.

I understand that priority for the larger access fitting rooms should be given to disabled customers but I hadn't realised that they were the same as disabled toilets. I understand why disabled toilets need to be only for disabled users only and I only use them if it is the only baby change facility and I have no other options.

So was I BU to want to use the larger fitting room?

Julia And yes, I have waited and waited with my dad to use a disabled toilet when, towards the end he needed a lot of help, so I do understand not to use disabled toilets.

I would use the disabled changing room if I had a buggy with me. If a disabled person comes along, there is no reason why they can't wait for the room to be free, like every other person has to when the changing rooms are busy.

No one has a right to immediate use of a changing room.

There is no way I'd leave either my baby or my pram unattended and it's just stupid to get a baby out of a pram and put it on the floor, when there are two empty changing rooms.

If a disabled person comes along, there is no reason why they can't wait for the room to be free, like every other person has to when the changing rooms are busy.

Yes there is. The fact that they are disabled and may have far less ability to stand around and wait their turn and unlike every other person they can't jump into the first changing room that's free.

Anyone remember the fun I had when trying to buy trousers a couple of months ago?

Having to wait for the toilet can be a really big deal so it is very bad form to use the disabled loo if you don't have to.

Having to wait in line to use a changing room is not the same sort of thing at all - wheelchair users are no more likely to be in a desperate hurry to try stuff on than anyone else - and frankly you rarely need a new bra that urgently.

Neither of my dcs ever went onto the floor. It never occurred to me to actually do that.

Kladd I totally understand what you are saying but to be fair I had seen two large fitting rooms, one she called the disabled one and one that was bra fitting only, both vacant, no others customers in sight.

Plus I had already seen the line of chairs by the entrance which I'd had to try to get the buggy past, I'm not a very good buggy navigator. Plus, I said she could just knock on the door if she needed me out. I just didn't think I was being unreasonable thats all. And even so, I wasn't aggressive in any way, or rude or demanding. I even suggested using a regular cubicle but with the door open, its not like I was demanding the disabled one.

The other day my disabled grandma stood and waited for a disabled changing room at M&S. She was told it was occupied. She (and my mum who was with her) assumed it was being used by another disabled customer. Three giggling women in their thirties emerged from it carrying lots of clothes. My grandma can't stand for very long but was happy to wait if it was genuinely in use. The assistant should have kicked them out. I wish they'd complained. I was furious when I heard. My poor 80 yr old grandma hardly ever gets out and is quite nervous in shops in case she gets knocked over.

They never went on the floor. Not any floor, anywhere? My DD spent most of her babyhood on the floor. Laying on a mat at home or on a picnic blanket in the park or garden or laid on her carrier in a changing room, whatever. Then crawling around the house, rolling about on the grass, on all fours round the garden, commandoing round the changing room. I'm really not seeing the issue.

Presumably the larger changing rooms are designed to fit wheelchairs. People with disabilities, but not in wheelchairs, can use a normal changing room. I don't see why someone in a wheelchair is any less capable than waiting for a changing room than someone not in a wheelchair.

I don't think that people should just use the big rooms for no reason, or because they want to get changed with their mates in the same room, but if you have a buggy, or a couple of kids and need the extra space, then I think that need is as valid as a wheelchair users.

It would be better, I think, to accept that lots of people need a bit of extra space when trying on clothes and their needs are of equal validity.

Crashdoll Yes, that would annoy me too, but I was in no way a giigling woman with armfuls of clothes. I only had 1 bra and said to knock if someone needed the room, though to be honest, someone could just use the other big room.

It made me wonder what would happen if 2 disabled people turned up at once. Would she let the second use the vacant bra fitting only room or make the disabled person wait for the disabled cubicle???

Pengy To be honest, it wouldn't really bother me if I had to wait because someone was in there with a pram and was being quick. Unfortunately my experience has always been like Crashdoll's grandma. Struggling to remain standing and waiting for ages while groups of women with all the time in the world try on mountains together, while regular sized rooms remain empty.

Kladd Thats awful, though I can well believe it.

TBH if it had been busy I wouldn't have even attempted shopping with the buggy with me, I'd have waited til it was quieter, as like someone else said, buying a new bra is not usually an emergency.

Presumably the larger changing rooms are designed to fit wheelchairs. People with disabilities, but not in wheelchairs, can use a normal changing room.

You presume wrong. I am disabled. I don't use a wheelchair, I use a walking frame. I cannot manage in most regular changing rooms as I cannot fit my frame in. I need it for balance. I cannot stand on one leg without support. Most changing rooms do not have grab rails fitted.

And I forgot, sometimes I need to have an assistant with me.

Apologies Kladdkaka. I agree that you would find it hard to used a normal room and should have access to the bigger one.

I think the big rooms should be reserved for those who have a genuine need. I would include people with prams and babies as being in as much need of a bigger space as wheelchair users and people in your position.

I do think that people who just want to try on clothes with their mates, don't have a legitimate need.

Indeed. Consideration and common sense can go a long way. Unfortunately it needs to as often it appears in short supply. :o

So in a nutshell, you were trying to buy a product and she fairly obviously told you that there was nowhere you could try it on even though two suitable rooms were potentially available?
I'd have handed the bra to her and walked out. And made a formal complaint to the store.
Disabled loo/changing room arguments aside for a moment (and we've done these to death) she's not exactly helping her company with that attitude. And no way were you BU.

having a baby in a pram does not make you disabled.
but op you sounded like you dealt with it well, a disabled person can wait for a changing room (and you told the assistant to alert you if one came along) so imo you were ok.
i mean what would I do I have a dd who is disabled, but I am not...
would not leave her unattended as she would create havoc, I could ask stff member to watch her, but can't trust that they would.
so I would do the same,
but I would never use a disabled toilet

I use the toilets and changing rooms for the disabled.

Honestly? I think this assistant was a jobs worth cahhhh and this isn't really a debate about disabled/non disabled / access issues. The assistant had two accessible rooms at her disposal. As long as she kept one of them free, no-one would have been inconvenienced and she would have probably made a sale. Which is apparently what she's there to do. Knobber. (assistant, not OP)

If I remember correctly, the toilets in our shopping centre are for disabled and buggies. Makes sense to me as people with buggies need a bigger room too. Plus there are loads of them, unlike the old centre which has 1 skanky disabled loo, and skanky other ones too.

But notice there is always a twat that proudly proclaims that they would use a disabled toilet,why do they feel the need?

Cos they need to take a wee?

Oh no wait...that wasn't what you meant was it?

but can my dd wee on them?
as she trumps them
ffs the op is talking about a changing room , where anyone can wait disabled or not, not a toilet.......

unless we now try Bra's on in the toilet

Kladdkaka I remember reading your trouser buying debacle.

I think in the case of 'disabled' or larger changing rooms it should be down to the sensible discretion of the staff (assuming they have some common sense).

It's not appropriate to leave your baby/toddler in a pushchair outside the changing room. I could take my DS in to cubicles, but not my DD - totally different characters so that's not a solution for everyone.

It is appropriate for there to be a larger cubicle for people who need it, whether that be due to disability or small children. Cubicles are often tiny so they can cram them in. But larger ones should never be used by groups of girls/women having a giggle.

Although I rarely go shopping and prefer to bring them home, try them and then return as I hate changing rooms soooo much.