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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So we all know not to use disabled toilets, but what about disabled fitting rooms in shops?

118 replies

PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 20:45

Today I went in to M&S to try to buy some new bras (I know, big mistake, but there are only 2 shops that do bras in town). I had DD with me (18mo) in the buggy, in the fitting rooms the lady looked at the buggy and immediately said she didn't know where I could try the bra on. I pointed to the empty large fitting room at the end and she said no, that it was only for disabled customers. I suggested the other empty large room, but she said no, that was for bra fitting only.

I said I was happy to go in a normal room but that I would have to keep the door open as it is too small for the door to close and I wasn't happy to leave DD unattended (I know some people are happy to do this but I'm not).

She then said I could go in the disabled fitting room but did a lot of tutting and sighing saying 'what if a disabled person comes in'. I told her she could knock on the door and I would come out as soon as I was decent.

I understand that priority for the larger access fitting rooms should be given to disabled customers but I hadn't realised that they were the same as disabled toilets. I understand why disabled toilets need to be only for disabled users only and I only use them if it is the only baby change facility and I have no other options.

So was I BU to want to use the larger fitting room?

OP posts:
Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:03

The other shop in town that does bras is excellent but I didn't have time to get there today. The woman in there is so good, she looks at you and says 'you're a 32D' goes and gets a few different styles, tells you to try them on and then she comes to check how you are getting on, will advise if you want her to and will go and get other styles/sizes if you need them.

Maybe with that being the service I'm used to (family owned dept store) I was on a hiding to nothing with M&S but friendly would have been a start!

OP posts:
MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 21:04

you never put your baby on the floor hiddenhome? Really? I don't often find dirty changing rooms and if I did I most likely wouldn't use them. She'd be laid on something soft anyway.

Anyway it's daft you should have been able to use the large room and it's silly they didn't let you. I was just trying to help for times there isn't a large room available, as in most of the places I shop. But I shall stop now.

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:05

SitandNatter Yes, me too. My dad had to use a wheelchair before he died and I know what problems it caused out and about.

I just never thought of fitting rooms in the same way as disabled toilets.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 16/12/2011 21:08

It's normal to use disabled changing rooms or toilet when there's no reasonable alternative - as long as you are quick and clear off if it is genuinely needed.

mumnotmachine · 16/12/2011 21:09

If the disabled cubicle is the only one free, thats what I use.
If there were two disabled people and one went in the cubicle, the other would have to wait anyway.

YouOldSlag · 16/12/2011 21:09

If I put my DS on the floor he'd run away and I'd have to run after him topless through M and S.

YouOldSlag · 16/12/2011 21:10

Baps akimbo, frightening passers by.

mumnotmachine · 16/12/2011 21:10

Its the same with disabled toilets- if another disabled person is using it then another person would have to wait.
I dont see the big deal

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:11

MsElto I'd prefer to change with the door open and DD stay in her buggy TBH because then I don't have to worry about her escaping, she is houdini-esque in her skills of going AWOL.

If it had been a more important purchase I would have taken her out of the buggy, but probably would have gone back another time because I'd had my fill of smiling sweetly to the rude lady by then.

OP posts:
BarnMummy · 16/12/2011 21:13

I think it would be reasonable to use the disabled changing room assuming that you make it clear that any disabled person would have priority.

But what actually made me post was cantspel's comment: I always wondered why they say that so many women are wearing the wrong bra size, but if you don't try them on, it all suddenly makes sense! Xmas Wink

Angelswings · 16/12/2011 21:13

No problem using a disabled changing room, it's a non issue. As you say, you can always come out if someone else needs it.

Had to use disabled loos once as I needed the basin by the loo (heavy bleeding after a mc) no one said a thing. Dd has a colostomy bag and needs to use disabled loos for the same reason and I pray no one dares challenge her

As for the changing rooms, not all needs are disability, perhaps we should rename life enhancement facilities :)

KalSkirata · 16/12/2011 21:14

I have never ever seen disabled fitting rooms. Whhere are they?

MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 21:16

Oh well, do that then. I've mainly bought things in charity shops since DD was born. And they often only have the one teeny curtained space. So I'm looking at it like that, and not being a buggy user would always have her in with me, so maybe she just got used to it. Don't buy bras in charity shops though Xmas Grin

atiredmum · 16/12/2011 21:16

The thought of trying on a bra with my 18 month old out of a pushchair, he'd have been off and I would have been chasing him down the shop half naked!!! It's bad enough at 2.5 (getting much better) trying to have a pee without him opening the door. I could have taken my other two at 17 months apart in together and it would have been fine.... some children are different

mumnotmachine · 16/12/2011 21:16

Maybe it would be easier to make all cubicles accessible for all people?

Including buggies etc

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:17

TBH I always thought they were 'accessible' rooms rather than specifically disabled fitting rooms.

OP posts:
Rosemallow · 16/12/2011 21:17

Well I have a double buggy and the only time I even dare try stuff on is when the two of them are asleep otherwise it is a total nightmare! There are a couple of shops in the city I live in which only have one 'disabled' changing room on ground floor and no lift, just stairs so I have to use the 'accessible' changing room there. (it's usually full of junk and stock anyway! Shock ) Usually get shown to a larger one in other stores or leave the curtain open a bit if DC are asleep but that can cause an obstruction if it's busy. Certainly don't think there was any need for this woman's attitude. I probably would've complained to be honest as it sounds like whatever you suggested wasn't good enough. I'm sure m & s wouldn't have been pleased as they are usually very inclusive and helpful.

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:20

MsElto When I'm in a charity shop I have perfected the 'drape the curtain around the buggy' method and it gives a surprising amount of privacy if done right. I did give a lad in the British Heart Foundation a bit of eyeful not so long ago though Grin

OP posts:
JuliaScurr · 16/12/2011 21:21

I guess you've never waited and waited and waited to use the ONLY place you can get changed while someone else bf's her baby, then? Or likewise with loos - campaign for bigger cubicle to fit your buggies, don't deprive me of the ONLY toilet I can use. Not too happy with this, sorry!

MsEltoeNWhine · 16/12/2011 21:23

But OP said there were two rooms JuliaScurr.

Two empty rooms big enough for her to use. I think in this instance she should have been able to use at least one of them for a few minutes.

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:24

MumNotMachine I guess it comes down to £££s, it costs floor space to make them all big enough to fit in a wheelchair/mobility scooter/buggy. They want as many cubicles as they can shoe horn in.
But you're right, in an ideal world they would all be spacious.

OP posts:
WashingLion · 16/12/2011 21:24

The only time in you life when you REALLy NEED to try on a bra is the couple of years after you had kids. There were no disabled people around who needed the cubicle - YANBU.

NinkyNonker · 16/12/2011 21:25

I've often been directed to the disabled changing room on the rare occasion I have the buggy and want to try stuff on, I have used it but have always made sure that they know to come and evict me if required. I make sure I'm quick, and wouldn't do it if I had hours' worth of stuff to try. I would never do it of my own accord though.

InExcelsisDeo · 16/12/2011 21:25

Zara in our local town centre has been using their only disabled changing room for storage for over a year now. I have given up asking them to use it, as they just say it's temporary and they will empty it soon, every time.

I find it quite common to have to wait for a disabled changing room even at quiet times, as people often go for the spaciest one available first, so that you have to queue for it even though all the rest are free. And sometimes there will be a group of teenagers using it as a sort of communal changing room which can take a while.

It's definately not the same issue as using a disabled toilet though when there can be continence issues involved which make it very difficult for some people to wait.

Original poster
PengyQuinn · 16/12/2011 21:28

Julia I don't understand why you are annoyed with me.

I have said I don't use disabled toilets, certainly don't bf in them or in disabled changing rooms. I take my buggy, as I have already said, in to the regular ladies toilets and wee with the door open so that I don't take up a valuable disabled toilet with my buggy. I don't need to campaign for bugger toilet cubicles, I just use the regular ones, even with my double buggy.

The only time I set foot in a disabled toilet is if the only baby change available is in there and if that is the only one they have provided that is hardly my fault.

OP posts: