So we all know not to use disabled toilets, but what about disabled fitting rooms in shops?

[PengyQuinn]

Today I went in to M&S to try to buy some new bras (I know, big mistake, but there are only 2 shops that do bras in town). I had DD with me (18mo) in the buggy, in the fitting rooms the lady looked at the buggy and immediately said she didn't know where I could try the bra on. I pointed to the empty large fitting room at the end and she said no, that it was only for disabled customers. I suggested the other empty large room, but she said no, that was for bra fitting only.

I said I was happy to go in a normal room but that I would have to keep the door open as it is too small for the door to close and I wasn't happy to leave DD unattended (I know some people are happy to do this but I'm not).

She then said I could go in the disabled fitting room but did a lot of tutting and sighing saying 'what if a disabled person comes in'. I told her she could knock on the door and I would come out as soon as I was decent.

I understand that priority for the larger access fitting rooms should be given to disabled customers but I hadn't realised that they were the same as disabled toilets. I understand why disabled toilets need to be only for disabled users only and I only use them if it is the only baby change facility and I have no other options.

So was I BU to want to use the larger fitting room?

How did the shop assistant know you didn't have a disability?

In future tell her it is an 'accessable' changing room for people who can't use the others. You can't use the other so you need the accessible one.

If there is no large fitting room available and no disabled people at the time you are there, i really don't see any reason why you shouldn't use it. To leave a baby out of sight is a NO NO, and you offered to leave the room if someone comes who really needs to use it...so YRNOTBU.

I used to clothes shop a lot when DS was asleep in his buggy, so taking him out to go in a cubicle would have defeated the point. I was always shown to the big changing room without asking.

Never thought anything of it.

Thanks all, I have emailed M&S now asking to clarify the policy on these larger fitting rooms. I'll wait and see what they say, it'll be interesting to find out if its just that one woman or whether it is M&S policy.

Most of the shops in my local shopping centre use the larger changing rooms for storage.

I too use the disabled loos, they're far more comfortable and spacious. There is a difference beween equal access and exclusive access, the twats are those who cannot see that.

As a Mother of a severly disabled child.

YADNBU

If i was outside waiting and lets say you aplogised i would say not to as there should be an extra fitting room for Mothers with children/babies in prams etc. Why there is not in most stores i'll never understand.

tinker in the unfortunate eventuality that you need, not choose, to use the accessible loos you'll discover the meaning of equality of access. hth

I haven't seen previous disabled toilet threads. When DS was almost 3 and DD in her pram, DS needed a wee in a shop which had normal toilets on the second floor, up two flights of stairs, and a disabled toilet on the ground floor. I knew that by the time I'd bumped the pram up 2 flights of stairs, DS would have wet himself, I wasn't going to abandon the pram and DD on the ground floor to take DS up, not did I want to carry DD up, leaving the pram unattended. So we used the ground floor disabled toilet. When we came out, I was accosted by a furious woman, angry that we were using the disabled toilet when we were all able-bodied. She agreed I couldn't really physically access the second floor toilets, but said a boy of DS age needn't use a toilet at all - I should just have taken him outside and got him to pee against the front of the shop wall. Was she right?

It's definitely nit the same as using a disabled toilet. There is really no urgent need to try on a bra whereas there may be an urgent need to use the toilet.

YANBU

Aberdeen - no she wasn't!

Agree that it's 'accessible' as opposed to 'reserved' for disabled people. It's the equivalent of using the lift instead of the stairs or pushing one of those automatic door opening buttons IMO. You are not actually depriving anyone in desperate need - if they are in a hurry to try on clothes it's highly unlikely to be due to their disability.

TBH (and I'll probably get flamed for this) I don't really feel bad using disabled toilets either if that's all is available. Even if in a non-disabled loo it's possible that you're holding up someone with IBS or OAB or any number of disabling conditions which aren't considered a disability.

The Great Unmentionable is the very low utilization of these facilities, I always use them as the chance of inconveniencing someone is about zero.

In this instance she could always have suggested trying the bras on in the store :o

You are not actually depriving anyone in desperate need - if they are in a hurry to try on clothes it's highly unlikely to be due to their disability.

No, but you are making something which is simple for able people and much more difficult for disabled people even harder.

I'll illustrate, yesterday I went to the shopping centre to do some Christmas shopping because I'm getting a bit jittery about stuff bought online which hasn't arrived yet. Parked in a disabled space and happily skipped in. There are about 100 shops split over 4 floors. I browsed as many shops as I could manage then very slowly and in great pain shuffled back to my car, realising I'd pushed myself too far and I'd been on my feet for way too long. Won't be doing much today as I can barely move. In total yesterday I got around 3 shops and bought 1 present. I need to go back :(

The day before I was at a difference place trying to find a dress for new years eve do. I found one that looked suitable and went to try it on. There are approx 24 cublicles and 1 accessible one. Nearly all the cubicles were empty. The accessible one was in use. So I waited. After about 10 minutes a woman in her 30s came out with a pile of party dresses, looked embarassed when she saw me waiting. I tried on the dress but it looked weird on. I didn't have the strength or ability left to go into another shop so I went home. I need to go back :(

Should add, had the cubicle been free I would probably have managed a second shop.

Also wanted to add that I find it really sad that people are still so ignorant of the impact of their behaviour on disabled people.

Sounds to me like the real problem here was absolutely shit customer service from the M&S woman. Two empty large fitting rooms and she won't allow a customer in to either of them? She was being a pathetic jobsworth.

I've used the M&S disabled changing room because it's the one I've been pointed to use by the shop assistant.

Usually I just leave the pram/buggy outside of the curtain. Although mostly I carried my child in a sling anyway, far more convenient then a pram.

Pengy - no idea why she stopped you using the one for bra fitting - you were trying on bras!!

Sounds like a jobsworth to me.

This idea that it's not the same as disabled toilets, there's no urgent need to try clothes on, etc - as Klad said, there may well be an urgent need, but if not, the same applies to able-bodied. As the saying goes 'Do you want the disability that goes with this parking space/toilet/changing room?'

Kladdkaka your post has educated me thanks.
I always argue to the toss about able bodies people using the disabled toilets, now I can see that this is the same.

Perhaps the answer is for shops to make sure that all changing rooms are equally accessible to all people, rather than cramming as many as they can in to as small a space as possible!

I do sometimes wonder how overweight people manage to manoeuvre themselves into some of the toilets/changing rooms I've been in - they are so tiny.

I struggle sometimes and, I believe, at a 12 I'd be considered fairly average!

The difference is that with changing rooms there is often an attendant who will tell you which one to use, so it is up to them what their policy is on non disabled people using the disabled one. If they say to go in it I don't think people should be expected to refuse.

Which also raises the problem of potentially having to convince an arsey jobsworth like OPs attendant that you are in fact disabled and allowed to use it.

I?ll caveat by saying that I freely use both loo and would changing rooms if I had ever seen one. I think a lot of people misunderstand the purpose of disabled loos but if they ant to stand and wait for a non disabled one then so be it, its only their time they?re wasting.

BUT if does wind me yup when people use the pushchair as an excuse to use one. If you?re able bodied and you use one just be honest FFS, don?t pretend that a pushchair makes you a bit more like a disabled person therefore its almost a ?decent? reason.

Its like people who say ?I use disabled bays as I have a bad back and CAN BARELY WALK.? Well, whoppdedoo, you?re still not actually registered disabled so that doesn?t give you card blanche for you to use it freely and not me.
Stop tryign to justify it to yourself.