to not want to give £20 to the school

[PresentsRibbonsAndMerrySantas]

the school dd1 has just started [well in sept] has asked twice now for this.
please contribute to our school voluntary fund, this fund will allow us to contine to offer as many school trips as we currently do and offer support to families, for example cannot afford uniform etc, we are asking for a £20 donation per family.
now don't get me wrong, if it was for paying for trips through out the year and for things for the school, i would with out even thinking about it, but its the part were they will help low income families for ie uniform, now we are a low income family but because dp works we have to struggle, which is fine, but the problem i have is i know a lot of families who would be classed as families in need of help and they would think it funny and big that they have managed to get free school uniform etc from the school, so why should i have to pay for these people, i know a friend of mine would and does trys to get everything for free and it really pees me off, she has more dispossable income than we do and she don't work [we rent so don't have a morgage] i just think, that if the school worked out what they get they would be surprised, ie no council tax to pay, no rent, no persciptions, free school meals, half price school bus pass the list goes on and now the school expect and yes i know they have said its voluntary but this is the second reminder and they know who has paid and not, for families to hand over £20 so they can have free school uniform and other help.
aibu in not paying or should i just pay
oh and i don't mean everyone on benifits is the same, i am on about the ones i know, you know the ones, large screen tvs, smoke drink flash the cash, new phones, but don't work!!!!!

I think it's a bit of cheek really. There are lots of govt systems in place for such need. Everyone I know is skint and it's annoying to have a whip round for people more skint than you when there is no "spare" £20 hanging around.

When did uniforms get so expensive? At both primary and secondary all that was required was a sweatshirt and in primary that only had to be a school logo one in juniors. Before that you could wear your own as long as it was the right colour. We are only talking mid 80s to late 90s so not all that long ago. I probably only had 2 or 3 sweatshirts during secondary, it certainly wasn't a new one each year as we would buy big enough to last. White t shirts are cheap as are black trousers. Plain black shoes got replaced when they needed it and plain black leggings for PE.

YouOld - Can you please tell me exactly which government system is in place to cover the need for people that might need help to pay for school uniform or a school trip? There is no LA help with uniforms, there is no Uniform grant from the DWP in my area at least - so what help IS there except this hardship fund?

I have to scrimp and save to cover the fact that my DS's state primary school not only insist on School logo sweatshirts at between £7.50 and £10.50 depending on size (and I have TALL dc), and navy school trousers (which are harder to buy, and hardly ever available in supermarkets, only Sainsbury's, which is over an hour by bus from my house), but they ALSO insist on the only coats that are allowed in school are the SCHOOL LOGO COATS that cost between £30 and £40 PER CHILD, depending on size. (Again, I have TALL dc).

I have to struggle to afford the cost of this - if I don't pay for the school coat, they aren't allowed on the playground after October. So Pay I do, even though it is 1/4 of my money for ONE coat - and I have 2 dc at this school.

And DD's secondary is even worse...

And the worst of it is - despite having paid what I could afford when I was still with Ex-P...it didn't even occur to me to go and ASK for some help from the fund now I really could do with it.

So, I reiterate - where exactly are these Government schemes to help those on low incomes to pay for trips or uniforms?? This IS the only place people can go to for help with costs they can't afford. And a lot of them, like me, don't even THINK to ask for the help. They will just put less money on the gas meter that week, or live off beans on toast for days on end, in order to pay for these things for their dc.

I'm certainly not living the life of Riley on benefits - I am over £100 a week worse off than I was when Ex-P was living here and working, even though it was for a fairly low wage.

I'm sorry HuntyCat, I did not realise that uniform grants were LEA and discretionary. I just looked it up and the Directgov website says this: "When deciding on a uniform policy, all schools are expected to give high priority to cost considerations. No school uniform should be so expensive as to leave pupils or their families feeling excluded."

I think your school is being really unfair expecting so many things to have the school crest on when it adds £££ to the cost. On coats it's especially unfair as they are usually quite expensive items to buy and it's more sensible to just buy one good coat, not one good coat AND a school coat with a crest on. very unfair for you.

I think it's good when school sell 2nd hand uniform (my DS is wearing a 3rd hand crested sweatshirt these days), and I also think schools should let pupils wear their own coats to school.

I think what I object to most in the OP is the fact the school is assuming that parents can afford £20 to buy stuff for other parents. My DH and I have had the hardest financial year of our lives and to give £20 to someone more skint than us would put us in serious hardship. There's nothing spare, yet we are not deemed poor enough to get help. A request for a named amount would piss me off. What's wrong with fundraising like other schools?

Govt guidelines on uniform are routinely ignored here; only two suppliers, all school specific, embroidered, the lot. Cost over £250 in yr7, obv won't still fit by yr13 so we'll have to do it all again and claim our 50% back. All dd's school trips have been covered by the MS Soc; lucky I got something with a wealthy charity

The reason I think YABU is that if your child is anything like my chi8dren the school might think you never received the first letter!!!