to not want to give £20 to the school

[PresentsRibbonsAndMerrySantas]

the school dd1 has just started [well in sept] has asked twice now for this.
please contribute to our school voluntary fund, this fund will allow us to contine to offer as many school trips as we currently do and offer support to families, for example cannot afford uniform etc, we are asking for a £20 donation per family.
now don't get me wrong, if it was for paying for trips through out the year and for things for the school, i would with out even thinking about it, but its the part were they will help low income families for ie uniform, now we are a low income family but because dp works we have to struggle, which is fine, but the problem i have is i know a lot of families who would be classed as families in need of help and they would think it funny and big that they have managed to get free school uniform etc from the school, so why should i have to pay for these people, i know a friend of mine would and does trys to get everything for free and it really pees me off, she has more dispossable income than we do and she don't work [we rent so don't have a morgage] i just think, that if the school worked out what they get they would be surprised, ie no council tax to pay, no rent, no persciptions, free school meals, half price school bus pass the list goes on and now the school expect and yes i know they have said its voluntary but this is the second reminder and they know who has paid and not, for families to hand over £20 so they can have free school uniform and other help.
aibu in not paying or should i just pay
oh and i don't mean everyone on benifits is the same, i am on about the ones i know, you know the ones, large screen tvs, smoke drink flash the cash, new phones, but don't work!!!!!

But none of us really know why these people may need help. When I was in this situation I was going through a marriage breakdown, I could not have access to benefits because of equity in a property with my violent ex who would not cooperate. I was at absolute breaking point emotionally and financially and genuinely had absolutely nothing. Two disabled children for whom I could not get childcare for and working all the hours God sent to cover my EXs debts. It is easy to go down the 'ooh they have a huge telly' DM route but people's lives are seldom that simple. Even if it is down to Parent's bad choices their children should not be excluded because of this. It is £20 - it is a kindness to others, not an excuse to judge other's choices. If you don't want to contribute then don't but judging why people are in that situation in the first place is not good as it is likely you could be completely wrong.

Ignorance of what Kladdkaka?

Exactly what I said.

'other people's irresponsible lifestyle choices'

Well then you need to re-acquaint yourself of the word 'ignorant'. I may be unsymapthetic towards other people's financial mismanagement but I am not ignorant.

Excuse typos.

But you are ignorant if you believe hardship is always the result of 'irresponsible lifestyle choices'.

Yes Elaine and Kladdkaka - I completely agree. In the situation I have described would you consider my hardship as a consequence of my irresponsible lifestyle choices or just terrible luck.

'other people's irresponsible lifestyle choices', i'm sorry but i dont agree, some people have no control over being on benifits.

I still agree with OP though, i do care that there are people who will struggle to pay for school trips, and its sad that children may have to miss out but why should we have to pay £20? why not have a jumble sale to raise money or a coffee morning? just seems wrong to ask for £20 cash.

If children from families on benefits are going without basics such as school uniform or lunches or whatever then it is the result of irresponsible lifestyle choices. This is a fact, and it is not ignorant to state it.

I actually think its a good idea but of course it is voluntary. I would write in and say you cannot afford £20 and do not want any more letters on the subject. You could also suggest termly second hand uniform sales if they don't do this.

Oxford English Dictionary:

Ignorant - lacking knowledge or awareness in general

In my opinion 'other people's irresponsible lifestyle choices' is ignorant.

Out of interest...how many children are in the school? £20 per child is a huge fund IMO.

Why don't you read my first post on this thread Kladdkaka and then tell me if you still think I'm being ignorant?

its £20 per family, its a very large school so def more than 700, i will see if their website says, but it is big

Just don't contribute and give it not another thought.

So is it a 'irresponsible lifestyle choice' if a family is short of money because they are unable to work because they have to take care of a disabled child?

Is it a 'irresponsible lifestyle choice' if a parent is unable to work due to illness?

I must be so irresponsible for having 2 desabled children so its my fault i may not be able to afford to send my child on a expensive school trip? (luckily this has not happend to me yet but it could easily be the case one day)?

If children from families on benefits are going without basics such as school uniform or lunches or whatever then it is the result of irresponsible lifestyle choices. This is a fact, and it is not ignorant to state it.

It IS ignorant because you lack the knowledge of why they are in that situation. Is your child being born disabled an 'irresponsible lifestyle choice'? Is becoming seriously ill yourself an 'irresponsible lifestyle choice'? Is you husband dying unexpectedly an 'inresponsible lifestyle choice'? Is fleeing domestic violence an 'irresponsible lifestyle choice'? If your answer is yes, then you are indeed truely ignorant.

Have you actually bothered to read my posts?

Have I been typing in an invisible font?

If I fall in the woods and noone's seen me, did I still fall?

For fuck sake.

But even people that WORK can get FSM's - if their total income including Tax Credits is below £16k pa. I fell into that category last time I worked - so still qualified for FSM's. When Ex-P was on £16.8K before tax and I was a SAHM due to my own and dc's disabilities - which I wasn't getting any DLA for - we didn't qualify.

It's NOT unfair - we had more income than those that qualify. Even being just over the threshold like I was when Ex-P was here - and having to pay for school meals for 3 dc - I didn't begrudge the fact that PEOPLE WHO HAD LESS MONEY GOT MORE HELP.

I'm not stating that from a purely ideological standpoint - I have been in the situation where we were just over the threshold. There HAS to be a cut off somewhere - and if you are below it, you need the help MORE than someone over the threshold.

And, BTW, OP - when I was with Ex-P, and claiming TC's due to his wages of £16k pa, we still got SOME of our council tax paid through Council Tax benefit, and SOME of our rent paid through Housing benefit - so are you sure that you are claiming everything that you should be? Your comments about how other people are getting help with their council tax and rent says to me that either you have a higher total income than you are saying on here (i.e. too high to get ANY help with rent or council tax, about £18.5/£19k AND Tax Creidts on top, if I remember rightly) OR that you are not claiming all the help that you should be.

What is the point in being jealous of those that have LESS than you getting some help?

This payment is a VOLUNTARY payment - if you have enough money to spare £20, then give it as it will help those less fortunate than yourself, if you don't have it because you are struggling yourself, then don't give it. End of.

1200 students at £20 per family, so if we say 2 dc's per family that would be £12000 if every family gave the £20 a year have i done that right, it does sound a lot

OH - and there IS no fund to help with school trips or uniform etc for dc on benefits or low incomes. And despite the letters saying 'voluntary payment', if the people on benefits DON'T pay - then the WHOLE CLASS CAN'T GO. So even those of us on benefits pay up - no matter what the cost of the trip - because otherwise no-one would be able to go on the trip. DS1's last trip cost £35. We were given 7 days to pay it in. We ate beans on toast all week that week.

There are NO uniform grants in my LA, and NO fund for low-income children for help with school trips, and the school piles on the guilt trip about how if the one/two people in each class that get FSM's don't pay, then no-one will go.

YANBU
Tell the school you are not contributing, and that they are being pushy. Also remind them that if they think the uniform is too expensive they can change it. I know some state schools expect a fortune to be spent on the uniform so i think it is off they then push people into paying twice for the uniform in effect to help others. Children have to wear clothes, so if the school has a lot of low incomes they should change it to a plainer uniform -grey trousers, white short, and grey jumper do not have to cost more than jeans and a jumper.

Would just like to point out that FSM are not available to everyone with an income of under £16000 (in NI anyway). If you receive WTC (ie you work) you are not entitled.

yes that is why we don't get them [uk]

Ah another benefit bashing thread. Could you please make this clear in the thread titles? It would save me the bother of having to open the thread when I could just hide from active convos. Thank you.