to not want to give £20 to the school

[PresentsRibbonsAndMerrySantas]

the school dd1 has just started [well in sept] has asked twice now for this.
please contribute to our school voluntary fund, this fund will allow us to contine to offer as many school trips as we currently do and offer support to families, for example cannot afford uniform etc, we are asking for a £20 donation per family.
now don't get me wrong, if it was for paying for trips through out the year and for things for the school, i would with out even thinking about it, but its the part were they will help low income families for ie uniform, now we are a low income family but because dp works we have to struggle, which is fine, but the problem i have is i know a lot of families who would be classed as families in need of help and they would think it funny and big that they have managed to get free school uniform etc from the school, so why should i have to pay for these people, i know a friend of mine would and does trys to get everything for free and it really pees me off, she has more dispossable income than we do and she don't work [we rent so don't have a morgage] i just think, that if the school worked out what they get they would be surprised, ie no council tax to pay, no rent, no persciptions, free school meals, half price school bus pass the list goes on and now the school expect and yes i know they have said its voluntary but this is the second reminder and they know who has paid and not, for families to hand over £20 so they can have free school uniform and other help.
aibu in not paying or should i just pay
oh and i don't mean everyone on benifits is the same, i am on about the ones i know, you know the ones, large screen tvs, smoke drink flash the cash, new phones, but don't work!!!!!

huntycat,
I really would consider not paying for these trips, and let the school realise thta they have to come up with more inclusive trips. It seems to me schools are getting silly with their demands. I have heard of peopel having to spend a couple of hundred on a uniform (with names havign to be sewn onto each item by hand by a company that the school chooses), lunch prices being expensive, costumes for plays being charged for, expensive trips, expensive travel costs, havign to pay for school parties etc and then money expected for the teachers presents. It has to stop, and people should not be guilted into paying for all of these. parents shoudl not have to choose a school based on the cost of the uniform.

I can't believe they sent a reminder! It's a voluntary thing - surely you would have sent it already if you intended to do so - it just seems like a guilt trip to ask again! £20 is a lot of money and you definitely should not feel under pressure to contribute IMO

OP, you're perfectly entitled to feel like this, but surely you must know by now that this kind of thread is divisive? It can very quickly kick off between posters and descend into a benefits bashing thread.

Look at it like this - you get the letter (it's a blanket send-out I assume - not for the exclusive attention of you?), you way up whether you are able to help someone else and you do so. If you can't manage the cash, then don't do it. Simple.

DD3 school had something similar and a few were sounding off about it. Since I was on close terms with the Head, I knew where the money was going. Single Dad, Mum had left and cleaned him out (even took the TV) but left young child. He was skint, and very very humbled by the help he received. It's not always the way you think it is.

you weigh up

welshmoth,
When you say the money went to the single dad, do you mean for help with school uniform and stuff. because whilst his situation is sad, I do not think it is fair of the school to guilt people into donations telling them it is a general fund, when in actual fact it is being given to one person. It is up to the people donating the money to decide if they want the person to get it or not. I know thta sound sharsh, but that sort of thing becomes a slippery slope when head teachers pick out people for particular help, and gets people to donate by telling them it is for a general thing.

welshmoth,
The head also had no right to tell you the personal and financial circumstances of another student and parent.

Re FSMs

What if your INCOME is over the 16K threshold (even by just a tenner) but your outgoings take you well under. Do you still qualify for FSMs then?

If you don't, how can you get help?

Doesn't that penalise the working poor?

I'd be happy to pay a yearly fee rather than individual trips if easier for the school to administer but wouldnt pay extra so that other parents could choose not to pay. Everybody gets CB and most get CTC which are designed to help with the costs of raising a child on top of wages. If you choose to have children and not work then thats a choice made by the individual and others should not fund it.

Kelly2000, he was just one recipient of many. I was merely giving an example to try and take the heat out OP's point i.e. not everyone has wads of disposable income and it's easy to forget those people when we're hell-bent as a nation to bash those on benefits.

Oh, and I omitted that I'm on close working terms with the Head, so he does in fact have every right to tell me.

Unless the financial situation and relationship with his ex directly effected your work he had no right to tell you.

But again, why should other parents have to pay for it? they already pay tax? If the school wants to have expensive school trips, and uniforms then let the teachers have a whip around for those who cannot afford it, after all the teachers are all working full time so should have no issue with donating to the fund if the parents are supposed to have no issue.

Unless the financial situation and relationship with his ex directly effected your work he had no right to tell you.

Come again?

I think you will find schools are a bit more open minded than people on benefits deserve free school uniform and those who are working poor don't. I once couldn't pay for a school trip for my son (my husband works as well and we are not particually poor either but wehad had a run of bad luck) and they paid for my sons trip out of their voluntary fund and I was grateful for that help. I have also paid in extra to my daughters school so that it funds another child in her class who couldn't afford the residential trip, but as it has been shared accross she can go now. If you cannot afford to pay £20 you must just tell the school you can't. Voluntary means voluntary not compulsory :)

But again, why should other parents have to pay for it?

That's the point I'm making, Kelly2000. It's voluntary. Not compulsory.

Cross posts FioFio

welshmoth, Unless the financial and relastionship situation of the parent and child directly effected the work you do at the school, he had no legal or moral right to tell you anything about it.
And if schools keep sending reminders, then it becomes guilt tripping. If they want it to be voluntary then they should sen a request once a year, and not keep following it up reminding people they have not paid.

LtXmasEve, I believe one of the changes they are bringing in with the welfare reform is to make FSMs means tested.

At the moment you either get them or you don't. And if you get FSMs that generally opens the doors for various other grants and discounts. So some families on low income will be worse off than if they were on benefits.

I don't think it's just income ATM, you have to recieve CTC but not WTC and have a household income under £16,000.

Kelly2000, you're just going to have to accept this because I don't want to repeat myself nor give out any more info. I work with the Head. This kind of fund has direct implications on the work I need to do for the Head. I accept your view point on the thread topic but anything else isn't relevant to this thread nor to my contribution.

YANBU at all, if you are struggling yourself why the hell should you have to pay for other people

haven't read the whole thread but are you 100% certain it is to help less well off families get uniform etc?

We had to pay £30 at our school to cover stuff throughout the year. You didn't have to pay it as a lump sum but it was so much easier than getting loads of scraps of paper throughout the year.

I disagreed with having to pay it tbh as I believe that the PTA is there for that reason and the school is in a wealthy area. I think the extra curricular trips are lovely and all but seem a bit ott when it'sa trip or visiting theatre/music group pretty much twice a term.

YANBU. I would bin the letter and not send the money in.

i do and would donate old clothes/school uniform, our primary school collect old school uniform and sell it really cheap ie 50p an item, so why can the school dd goes to not do this for the low income families and then the school would also be raising a bit of money for themselves as well as helping those families out.

Why don't you suggest it to them and offer to help. You don't have to commit to it long term just plan how it would work and set up the system. Then maybe suggest a rota of people deal with the sales.

i have copied from the letter, sent from the school word for word

please contribute to our school voluntary fund, this fund will allow us to contine to offer as many school trips as we currently do and offer support to families, for example cannot afford uniform etc, we are asking for a £20 donation per family

Well, blame the parents all you like, but having worked in some truly hard core schools and seen the lives some children live I think Yabu. Good on the school for trying to male proviso for some CHILDREN to be clothed etc if their parents cannot, or will not do so properly.

"But again, why should other parents have to pay for it? they already pay tax? "

Yeah, are there no orphanages and workhouses? Let the poor go there. After all, you pay your taxes. (Remember not to kick Tiny Tim's crutch on your way out, though, then you'd just look sadistic).