to out my back stabbing SIL?

[scuzy]

long story short ... SIL told me about a forum she visit frequently (not here) and I decided to look it up. found her online as her daughter was her avatar pic and started reading some of her threads. she was online there for years and read loads of threads giving out/mocking/being disrespectful to everyone (MIL, her BILs, my dp, me, my other sil ... basically all her dp's family).

I told them and since then there is bad feeling. was i right?

Would you like it if she "outted" you from mumsnet to your family and friends???

You're a grown woman ffs....bitching is bad enough (your SIL) but you telling everyone like a teenager is beyond the pale.

If anything you should have told your SIL that you had seen what was written and it was a stupid thing to do.

What benefit was it to all the people who now know she's vile about them?

I hope you do delete the copies.

My MIL kept writing letters to me and when I replied and explained how hurt and upset I was by her behaviour (and gave examples because she had claimed not to know what she had done) she showed everyone else in the family to prove to them how horrible I was and how I was making up lies.

She still has those letters and has tried to use them as proof to show my DH what I am really like. The fact that he was there and witnessed the things I wrote about seems to have slipped her mind.

My letters were not nice but they were truthful. And they were full of some very personal descriptions of my grief from when my children died and why it hurt so much to have her insult those babies the way she did. It was very private stuff and she showed it to everyone from her brother to her bin man in her quest to have everyone see me as I really am.

It's really quite horrible to think she has them squirrelled away for later us. She claims to have been very upset by them, so I can't understand why she would want to keep them other than to use them against me if she thinks she can get away with it. It's horrible, and again, her keeping those letters for that purpose has only served to harm our relationship even more.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourMincePies - poor you, that sounds horrible