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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to out my back stabbing SIL?

179 replies

scuzy · 15/12/2011 15:51

long story short ... SIL told me about a forum she visit frequently (not here) and I decided to look it up. found her online as her daughter was her avatar pic and started reading some of her threads. she was online there for years and read loads of threads giving out/mocking/being disrespectful to everyone (MIL, her BILs, my dp, me, my other sil ... basically all her dp's family).

I told them and since then there is bad feeling. was i right?

OP posts:
kelly2000 · 16/12/2011 15:28

You were really out of line. You went online to see what she had written, not just to look at the forum in general. then you went behind her back and told everyone what she had written about them. To be honest in the long run you have done more harm to yourself and made yourself look like a real stirrer. No wonder she vents about you behind your back. If I were her I would delete all the posts, and then say you are lying or that you wrote them. I bet her DP will believe her over you.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:30

she already deleted them but i have copies as i knew she would delete them

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 15:41

sil may be gossip but you're vindictive and taking a perverse pleasure in instigating a fight.keeping copies of her online tittle tattle well that's positively barking

kelly2000 · 16/12/2011 15:41

So you have pieces of paper with the comments written on - sp she can just say you wrote them, or altered them (it is very easy to alter a screen shot), but the fact you made copies to prove it, does rather prove you just set out to be a stirrer and cause problems. If you had really felt bad about it you would have destroyed them, but keeping the 2evidence", shows you are going to cling on to this one. If everyone in your family behaves like you, you might want to have a think about why she was venting about you all.

ShirleyKnot · 16/12/2011 15:42

You have copies? Shock

holy batman!

Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:42

was waiting for someone to say that. sure arent I a stalker??? anyways this be done to death.

OP posts:
redrubyshoes · 16/12/2011 15:42

Why did you keep copies?

I really think you should bin them. Now. This is not a moral campaign you are waging it is pure unmitigated spite and revenge.

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 15:43

no wonder your sil vents on line
what with. you being such a bampot

Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:45

my god i didnt use the copies. i saved them on my pc so that if she did delete them straight off and accussed me of lying i had evidence.

OP posts:
Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:46

and i dont believe for one minute if any of ye had a family member posting on line (which is not private, available for the world to see) and were aware you wouldnt read their posts????

i didnt read her diary!!!

OP posts:
ShirleyKnot · 16/12/2011 15:48

mad. You've had an almost unanimous YABU from posters here and STILL you maintain that you did the right thing.

You. Did. Not.

You did the wrong thing, the spiteful thing, the damaging thing. The WRONG THING.

kelly2000 · 16/12/2011 15:50

No I would not read their posts, only a very insecure person would feel the need to go trawling through the forum for their posts, then gather evidence in case they get deleted. And the copies mean nothing anyway if your SIl says you wrote them, or latered them. But they do rather prove her point in not liking you.

redrubyshoes · 16/12/2011 15:50

So your SIL apologised and deleted the thread. Fuck me. What else do you want her to do? Fall on her sword? Leave the country? Beg forgiveness on her knees?

Are the copies for future blackmail attempts? Why not post them on Facebook for all her friends and family to see? Really ostracise the woman.

Drop it OP. I don't give a monkey's chuff what she said about your DP's mum or anyone else and it is up to them to deal with it.

Just drop it.

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 15:50

so,why you need evidence
you're liking the fight and ensuing hoo ha bitty too much.
no wonder poor sil moans online having to tolerate such snippy behaviours

sitandnatter · 16/12/2011 15:52

Wishing you a warm fuzzy Christmas, it's going to be so much fun around that dinner table. What is it they say about not being able to chose your family?

Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:52

does anyone read threads anymore? i have no intention of using the copies ... jesus!!

i have many times said that I didnt do the right thing!!

what more do you want ME to do??? never been so sorry to start a thread in all me life. i was expecting UABU but christ ... can ye let it go now. i have!!!

OP posts:
LostVagueness · 16/12/2011 15:53

OK time to stop the charactor assasination. It does sound like your SIL is a bit of a twat and it also sounds like you have acted like a 'bit of a twat'. However it's probably for the best that you are having xmas dinner together. Maybe you can forgive and forget. We have all probably done things we regret in life but would all want to be forgiven to. Time to move on.

I'm sure that you were doing what you thought was right at the time. Sorry for you that it didn't work out. Oh and by the way.....Sorry for calling you a twat earlier, I may have jumped the gun a bit myself there! Hope it all works out.

redrubyshoes · 16/12/2011 15:54

Delete them then.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:55

Lostvagueness thanks! we have talked since and are getting on. this didnt happen yesterday it was a few months ago. its still on my mind thats all. i can see everyone's point of view i handled it soooo wrong but getting sick of the jibes now. anyways yes i am looking forward to xmas with all the kids (i adore hers) and to getting on.

OP posts:
kelly2000 · 16/12/2011 15:55

delete the copies then. If not you are proving the point that you are a trouble maker and your sil has no reason to like you.

Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:57

yes i will i had forgotten i had them til it was mentioned here. have no need to keep them.

can i just say that i liked her and thought we were friends before i read all her posts.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 15:58

boobloodyhoo,getting all defensive and got at
you're keeping copies. to have a ta-da moment and keep fight going
gosh aren't you the better person.not

Original poster
scuzy · 16/12/2011 15:59

sorry scottish i didnt understand a word of that.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 16/12/2011 16:01

I have no idea why you outed her. She thought she was anonymous. Everyone deserves to air their views, even though she was wrong about no one knowing.

Why do you think it's good to know every negative thing anyone might say about you?

scottishmummy · 16/12/2011 16:01

is that purposeful don't understand?how convenient
your keeping copies as an insurance policy for when as you predict sil,denies posts.then you have your well actually ta-da moment