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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dh keeping money from me!

117 replies

Memoo · 11/12/2011 21:14

I'm really rather cross about this!

Bit of background: Dh and I are broke. In arrears on our rent and other things. I have scrimped and saved all year and have managed to scrap together enough money to buy our Dc a few gifts each. I'm now struggling to find a way of having enough money to be able to do a good food shop for Xmas.

Today Dh has taken the Dc round to his parents for the day. I stayed home in bed as I've been ill.

They return this afternoon having had a lovely time. Dh tells me mil has given him some money for the dc to get them some clothes. I was really happy about that and very grateful.

Mil rang about an hour ago to see what I might buy the dc with the money and we talk about clothes etc. Right at the end of the conversation she mentions something about giving Dh a little something too.

I ask Dh about this when I come off the phone and he said oh yeah they gave me £20 petrol money.

I've just picked dh's jeans up to put in tbe washing machine and there was a £100 in his pocket. He came into the room and flushed when he saw I had the money in my hand. He then said he was going to tell me about. Yeah right!!

Why would he do this? We're struggling so much and he was basically after keeping £100 to his self!

OP posts:
sitandnatter · 11/12/2011 21:16

You are no worse off than you were, his parents have given him a present. Hard as it is to see him being so selfish, and he is being selfish, as you've found it you will never know if he was going to tell you.

pinkyp · 11/12/2011 21:17

Perhaps to buy you a Xmas gift?

GypsyMoth · 11/12/2011 21:17

Something for you?

FriggFRIGGYPudding · 11/12/2011 21:17

Maybe he was going to buy you an Xmas present with it?!Grin

Fwiw I'd be peed off too Sad

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 11/12/2011 21:19

At first glance it seems very selfish but it did occur to me that he might have intended to use it to get you/the kids Xmas presents. However it would probably be best spent on rent/food.

Have another chat about what he was going to do with it. He needs to understand that when you're skint, essentials must come first.

squeakytoy · 11/12/2011 21:20

I think he was probably going to buy you a christmas present with it, and now you have gone and spoiled it.

Original poster
Memoo · 11/12/2011 21:23

I wouldn't be happy with him spending it on a Xmas present when we're on the verge of losing our home because we're so behind with out rent.

OP posts:
scentednappyhag · 11/12/2011 21:26

Blaming the OP doesn't seem fair Hmm
Is he the type to keep something from you maliciously? Or is it likely he wanted to surprise you and DCs? I hope it doesn't get in the way of you having a nice Christmas together OP, even if it does turn out he was being a bit of a numpty!

squeakytoy · 11/12/2011 21:26

A "good" food shop at xmas is completely unnecessary though too.

Original poster
Memoo · 11/12/2011 21:29

I just mean being able to buy a turkey and some mince pies rather than living on smart price pasta

OP posts:
Backtobedlam · 11/12/2011 21:30

I'd be annoyed he hadn't said how much he had. However, as its Christmas if give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was going to surprise you with all the Xmas food? Or another gift as others have said. I'm sure he wouldn't keep it just for himself as you'd know if he came home with a new pair of jeans, computer game, or something similar.

Original poster
Memoo · 11/12/2011 21:31

He has lied to me about many things many times so this is just typical of him.

OP posts:
SugarPasteChristmasCake · 11/12/2011 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 11/12/2011 21:31

Memoo... Has he said yet? What he was planning?

squeakytoy · 11/12/2011 21:32

Fair enough.

Well this £100 is money that you wouldnt have had, so I would use some for the food, and some for a present for each other.

Are his parents aware of how much you are both struggling at the moment?

Original poster
Memoo · 11/12/2011 21:32

There is no way he would be planning to surprise me. He hasn't a romantic bone in his body. Don't thinks he's ever even bought me a bunch of flowers.

OP posts:
Original poster
Memoo · 11/12/2011 21:33

Oh he's still got the money. He hasnt offered me any of it.

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 11/12/2011 21:34

you have to ask him what he was going to do with it, and i suspect if you know your dh you will know if he tells you the truth.

whatever he was going to do, unless he was going to pay the rent or tell you about it, he was out of order.

Original poster
Memoo · 11/12/2011 21:34

His parents do know how we are struggling. That's why they very kindly gave the dc some money for some new clothes.

OP posts:
scentednappyhag · 11/12/2011 21:35

If lying is a habit of his Memoo, maybe it's a bigger issue than just the money? Sad i'm sorry you're having a tough time.

squeakytoy · 11/12/2011 21:36

Ah Memoo, I think I remember some of your previous threads now. :(

You are right, he was trying to hide it from you I think.

marriedandwreathedinholly · 11/12/2011 21:36

YANBU for being cross when things are so tough. But, if I were to cross my heart and hope to die, in DH's shoes, if my mum gave me £100, I might have salted it away in a quiet stash for emergencies or to buy my dp a little present for Xmas, etc.. If DH was really devious - it wouldn't have been left in his jeans and he wouldn't have blushed.

I hope you feel better soon.

ThatVikRinA22 · 11/12/2011 21:36

you have to ask him.

Backtobedlam · 11/12/2011 21:40

If he has a history of lying then that's different. I definately wouldn't be giving him the benefit of the doubt, I'd be wanting to know why he was hiding things.

SugarPasteChristmasCake · 11/12/2011 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.