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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to despise lying to children?

237 replies

TimeWasting · 11/12/2011 00:19

I hate that it's the main wondrous magical part of Christmas for them, about receiving stuff rather than giving and that it's a basic lie.

I think it makes Christmas shit.

OP posts:
MyChildDoesntNeedSleepAtXmas · 11/12/2011 00:21

I'm kinda starting to agree.

It's a bit weird when you really think about it.

A1980 · 11/12/2011 00:21

You don't have to do it. Don't buy your children anything and make them to good deeds on xmas day instead.

AgentZigzag · 11/12/2011 00:21

I love lying to my children about Father Christmas Smile

You can tell them it's about giving as well as recieving.

AgentZigzag · 11/12/2011 00:22

Have you come directly from Dickensian times A1980? Grin

Was it snowing there yet?

Original poster
TimeWasting · 11/12/2011 00:25

A1980, the thing is I haven't done it. Everyone else tells him about Santa, so I would have to explain why everyone is lying to him.
Don't get me wrong, I love presents, and I love Christmas, it's the commercialism rooted in the lie that is turning my stomach now I have a child old enough to think about Santa.

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 11/12/2011 00:25

In this increasingly materialistic & depressing world isn't it lovely to have one little bit of magic & fantasy to share with the little ones?

Anyway it's not lying it's a Fib which we all know is not the same at all....Xmas Grin

Original poster
TimeWasting · 11/12/2011 00:28

But what is the fantasy? That you get lots of stuff you don't need.

OP posts:
SleightiesChick · 11/12/2011 00:28

Why not start a tradition with your DC of doing something kind for others in the Christmas run up, or even on Christmas Eve? Make it about something else as well as the presents.

Bossybritches22 · 11/12/2011 00:29

AH now I understand where you're coming from. Yes the commercialism is getting a bit much but you can keep it simple & still make loads of magic childhood memories with your children without going along with that side of it.

Ban ITV & encourage DVD's or CBBC to keep them away from those awful targeted adverts

YouOldSlag · 11/12/2011 00:30

If you think the Santa thing is LYING, then do you let them read fiction? because on that basis, that's all lies as well. Narnia, Neverland, Wonderland, Grandpa in my Pocket- just a big pack of lies!

Father Christmas is a story and kids love the magic. I agree that Christmas has become about one big giant toy sale, but you can tell them it's about love and family etc too. I remember looking at the sky on Christmas Eve as a child and feeling so incredibly excited by the magic of all.

LakeFlyPie · 11/12/2011 00:31

I have to admit I felt as strongly as you do for DS1's 1st 3 christmas's (aged 6, 18 months and 2 and half).

However, my views have changed somewhat this year as the enigma of FC and his appearance / sack of goodies has bought me a few weeks of powerful bargaining tool in the behaviour stakes with my increasingly cheeky / excited 3 and half yo Grin

Original poster
TimeWasting · 11/12/2011 00:32

Children understand the difference between fiction and fact though. Most of them genuinely believe in Santa, at least for a little while.

OP posts:
YouOldSlag · 11/12/2011 00:36

And my son believes in Narnia. I'm not going to tell him its lies and thee's no such place. I remember running my hands over the back of many a wardrobe until I was about 8. I'm glad nobody burst my bubble. It's wonderful to look back on a time when I still believed in magic and fairies and thought anything was possible.

I grew out of believing in FC at my own pace. Don't steal the magic, they are children for such a short time.

hohohoshedittant · 11/12/2011 00:38

You can tell him whatever crap you like about santa.

Tell him Santa brings him a toy on christmas eve to remind him to be a good and kind boy all year round or Santa gives him a toy to set a good example and he should give any toys he doesn't play with anymore to other children etc etc

It doesn't have to be very commercial, get him a few bits he needs/wants and then focus on the magic stuff.

HowlingBitch · 11/12/2011 00:38

I apparently used to circle the whole of the 'girls' section of the Argos and Index catalog when I was little. Me and my two brothers always had very little at Christmas but the fact that Santa brought me things was amazing. As was the whole build up. I also loved giving gifts.

YABU. These things are what make childhood magical.

hohohoshedittant · 11/12/2011 00:40

'It's wonderful to look back on a time when I still believed in magic and fairies and thought anything was possible'

ahhhh that's so nice coming from someone called YouOldSlag Xmas Grin

JoInScotland · 11/12/2011 00:40

It doesn't all have to be about Santa Claus and it doesn't have to be all about "getting stuff" either. My son is nearly 2, so we have talked about what Santa Claus, Mrs Claus, elves, reindeer, et al are up to, but we have also sat down and made about 4 Christmas cards each day. All different designs, with buttons and string, sequins and glue. They look fab. He's going to help me make the Christmas cake and gingerbread men. We talk a lot about how fun it is to make things, and give them to the people we love. No telly in this house, so no pester-power adverts, thankfully.

Christmas is whatever you want to make it. Take control of the holiday and do it your way!

Barbielovesken · 11/12/2011 00:44

I just don't get this. At all. I genuinely don't understand the parents who are so obsessed about this damaging "lie" we are all telling our dc.

For Gods sake - it's a lovely, innocent and magical story. Children can easily appreciate so many other things about Christmas whilst also enjoying the presents Santa brings.

I really don't get it

I look back on my childhood Christmases so fondly due to this big lie. We also cleared out old toys for charity before Christmas, cooked about 5 extra dinners each Xmas day and delivered them and visited some elderly and unwell people who lived locally etc

I have never once looked back and thought "my mother was such a raging bitch/ so deceiving/ so damaging" to tell me that Santa existed and (the cow) actually went to the effort of buying beautiful gifts for me over those years and passed the delivery of them as been magic

I'd presume, op that you're never going to lie to your dc then? My dd asked me was there peas in her Shepherds pie today - there was - I told her there wasn't. She ate it and loved it. I also let her stay up and watch the Santa Claus movie with me tonight and we chatted all through it - about how excited we were about Santa coming/ wondering what he'll bring/ will we bake cookies for him.. Loads more lies. I'm pretty confident that I haven't damaged her too much.

Maryz · 11/12/2011 00:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorkyPiesWithJingleBellsOn · 11/12/2011 00:54

It's up to you to make Christmas how you want it to be. I think it's quite a testing time for most people - maybe that's part of the reason for it.

Bossybritches22 · 11/12/2011 01:06

Of course some folk think that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a little boy in a stable surrounded by animals & visited by kings bringing gifts.
Xmas Shock

Now there's a wonderful fantasy story!

But then I'm old-fashioned Xmas Wink

SinicalSal · 11/12/2011 01:13

YABU, OP, it's lovely Grin (am afraid to do the grin with the santa hat)

I take your point about the commercialism though. But the beauty is you can make your own traditions within the mainstream Santa framework (am proud of my sentence construction, there)

ChippingInNeedsSleep · 11/12/2011 01:21

YABU & grinch like.

pebbles1972 · 11/12/2011 01:26

Yabvvvvvu

and bah humbug to you too :-(

these threads make me really sad, what harm is there creating magic for kids? yes it's lying, yes it's untruths.

forget all that bollix tho and look on the other hand..it's creating magic and joy for years to come..xx

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 11/12/2011 01:32

The whole point of Santa delivering presents in the dead of night when little ones are fast asleep in bed, is to reward good behaviour. He can do it with just one gift, you know. I'm pretty sure he did when I was little. It's entirely up to you.

God, I just don't get the hand-wringing over this! It's meant to be a nice, fun, magical, special, once-a-year thing.

Don't you try to create a sense of magic for your kids at any other time? I'm so excited by Christmas this year, as DS is finally verging on old enough to start to understand it, and I can't wait to start creating our own family traditions, and build-up the visit from Santa. And see his little face when he comes down on Christmas Day.

I honestly know of no children who have been scarred or damaged by their belief in Christmas and Santa, but rather their pure delight and enjoyment from it.

If you don't want it to be materialistic, it reslly doesn't have to be. But let them have some fun!