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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ok.. am i being mean to NOT let dd2 go to the pantomime with the school today, not sure now school seem to think i am

57 replies

sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:02

dd2 is 4 and I'd say about 3/4 of the school are going. Her 9 year old sister is going and most of year 6 as well as all the infant classes.

At the time I didnt have the money for them both to go and dd2 didnt seem fussed anyway, she hasnt mentioned it all today and was looking forward to the dvd afternoon that the school have planned for the ones staying behind. I dont honestly think she would get that much out of it anyway,

Her class teacher said to me yesterday, why isnt she going, she'll be left out and there wont be many kids left in the school anyway o I should keep her off, another teacher said no bring her in, theres quite a few not going and they have planned things for those not going.

So now I have JUST got a phone call from the school asking again why she wasnt going when her sister was, there was a ticket spare and did I want it. When I still said no I'd rather she stayed in the school (because the wind is quite bad here and I want her local as shes only 4. dd1 is ok cos shes older and more able to look after herself iyswim) it was meant with a deadly silence and then oh ok, well she'll be missing out.

I did think yeah and the school will be missing out on a tenner thats why the school rang Hmm

Perhaps i am mean I don't know. sorry its rambly and full of bad spelling and grammar, very tired.

yesterday her class teacher

OP posts:
Original poster
sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:03

ignore that last bit.. 'yesterday her class teacher' This will teach me to proof read more carefully!

OP posts:
DoesNotGiveAFig · 08/12/2011 11:04

No you aren't. If your DD isn't bothered, then what's the problem? Aside from the school being a-holes

Grumpla · 08/12/2011 11:04

Are you sure they were expecting you to pay for the ticket?

I am sure your DD will be fine whatever you decide but it may have been a nice gesture on the part of the school?

WilsonFrickett · 08/12/2011 11:05

I imagine they wanted all the children to go so that they didn't need to leave teaching staff back at base... And £10 probably is about right for a panto ticket.

However, YANBU as I think 4 is v young for panto and she would probably have found it quite scary and long...

WorraLiberty · 08/12/2011 11:06

If the money was the problem then why blame the wind?

I think 4yr olds get more out of pantomimes than mostly any other age group

But if you're sure your child is ok, then I don't see a problem

HecateGoddessOfTwelfthNight · 08/12/2011 11:07

Could you just tell the truth - you simply can't afford another tenner and she isn't that bothered anyway. Or would you find that too embarrassing?

MerylStrop · 08/12/2011 11:08

YANBU
If you can't afford, you can't afford it.
I'd have told the school that.
It's unfair of them to put pressure on you.
(Are you sure the ticket offered wasn't free?)

cantspel · 08/12/2011 11:09

4 is not too young for panto. I live in a seaside town and each year both pantos are packed out with 4 year olds.

Your 4 year old might not have been fussed at the stage of booking the panto but maybe now everyone else is going and getting excited about it she wishes she was going as well.

Original poster
sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:10

no they wanted me to pay for the ticket, as she said could you bring the money in tomorrow which i probably could have done this week but the weather is bad here so I still rather she stayed in school

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 08/12/2011 11:10

Your older daughter being "more able to look after herself" is a bit of a red herring, isn't it? They will all be in the care of the teachers, and should be quite safe, wind or no wind.

ThatsNotSantasBabyBelly · 08/12/2011 11:11

I think 4 is too young for a panto with the school, different if going with family.

Original poster
sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:11

i meant bring money in next week, have 30 quid to last me till tues.. christ almighty whats wrong with me today

OP posts:
Original poster
sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:13

maybe they will all be safe but I hate hate hate wind.. always have since being in the 1987 hurricane when I was 10,

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 08/12/2011 11:13

She's not going to blow away you know Xmas Grin

Original poster
sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:18

I know that worra Grin but i remember a branch falling on to our school coach roof in high winds and crushing the top. I remember how bad it was in the 1987 hurricane and all the trees down and roofs torn offs. I know I know I'm not being very logical but wind does frighten me and dd2 hates it as well.

OP posts:
Original poster
sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:19

I dont know worra.. the wind blew dd2 into the road this morning and half tipped the pram over.. its pretty strong up here

OP posts:
RosemaryandThyme · 08/12/2011 11:20

Oh I think your fealing really anxious for your little one - would they have gone by coach ? would it be her first outing without you ? it can be nerve wracking as a mum waving that coach off with your two most precious people inside on a windy day - its' blowing a gale here too.
BUT we do have to let go one day, manybe its' just not today for you.

Bramshott · 08/12/2011 11:21

Remember the Mumsnet mantra "No is a complete sentence".

Original poster
sheepgomeep · 08/12/2011 11:34

they have gone by coach. There are others that havent gone though so she will be ok.

i am a nervous wreck when it comes to school trips Blush They all do go though, i think if had been just infants going I would be ok but its all the school and it just didnt sit easy with me

OP posts:
RosemaryandThyme · 08/12/2011 12:12

School trips are nerve wracking for me too !
Pat yourself on the back for letting your 9 year old go, have a nice cup of tea and chocolate and breath a sigh of relief when you spot that coach heading back to school.
Being a mum can be soooo nerve wracking - your doing great, all will be well.

QuintessentiallyFestive · 08/12/2011 12:14

Maybe they would have given you the ticket free if you told them it was because you could not afford two tickets?

eragon · 08/12/2011 12:19

my kids primary school took the whole sch to panto, and the atmosphere was is so fantastic, the group singing christmas songs on the coach, the carton of juice and bar of choc in the interval, and the panto itself! everyone standing up and singing fantastic!

I am so glad that all my kids have had this opportunity, and appreciate the organisation behind it.

certainly if a parent couldnt afford it, money was found to enable the child to go.

GooKingWenceslas · 08/12/2011 12:21

You are not being mean. If you DD had really wanted to go, then maybe, but if she's not bothered then I don't think you are.

The school wanted to you buy another ticket is all.

Fecklessdizzy · 08/12/2011 12:21

OP Know what you mean ... Both DS's went to the Panto with their lower school on a absolutely vile day - ice, driving snow - I was on tenterhooks all day and jumped a foot everytime the phone rang at work! All rolled up safe and sound but I kept seeing the headlines in my mind's eye ...

MMMarmite · 08/12/2011 12:26

YANBU, you know your dd best, and she doesn't seem to mind. Don't let the school guilt trip you into spending money that you need for other things on a panto that you your dd doesn't care about.