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Original poster

To be freaked out by this? 3 year old's memory

153 replies

birdynumnums · 01/12/2011 23:31

7 months ago, we had to rehome our lovely dog because he was so mad he was knocking DS1 (3.5 year old) and and Ds2 over all the time and we were constantly having to lock him in the conservatory when the children were up. DS1 didn't have anything to do with the dog apart from waving at him through the glass for at least a year before he went. It was very upsetting but dog is in a lovely home now. At the time, he asked where Jacob the dog was but didn't seem overly upset by it.

Tonight, he woke up screaming, demanding to know where Jacob was. Then though fits of tears, he said 'Jacob is in grandad's car'. His grandad came to drive the dog to his new home 7 months ago. Ds1 has severe speech delay so it surprises me when he says many things let alone things that happened 7 months ago. Is this weird? Or do I just think it is because of his speech delay?

OP posts:
AmanitaMuscaria · 01/12/2011 23:32

Poor dog. Sad

MrsMuddyPuddles · 01/12/2011 23:33

Normal, sorry. I've read (anectotal) about people who's 12-18 month olds remember things from a few months prior.
I'm really sorry to hear that he is still sad about Jacob, though. Is there any chance you could visit him?

4madboys · 01/12/2011 23:34

why poor dog it has gone to a lovely home the op says?

and it is amazing what kids remember, my ds4 is 3 and often talks about things from months ago and remembers and talks about things that happened before he could talk, also a late talker, tho no issues now at 3yrs 5mths.

its lovely that your son remembers him, perhaps talk to him about how yes grandad did take the dog away but to a lovely new home?

its not wierd at all ime with my 4 boys :)

TheSpreadingChestnutTree · 01/12/2011 23:36

Ds is 3 and does the same thing. They don't have much to think about do they, so they've got more brain room to remember things.

Goodynuff · 01/12/2011 23:36

The memory part is totally normal Smile My niece is three, and remembers things from a year ago. I think that they remember important things (ie, family, pets, special places) but wont remember everything, ie what was for breakfast on the third sunday of august

AmanitaMuscaria · 01/12/2011 23:40

Poor dog because it was unfortunate to be passed on like an old toy because noone would put in the time to train it not to jump up. Whether or not he's happy in his new home, he still suffered the trauma of being chucked out by the people he loved.

AmanitaMuscaria · 01/12/2011 23:41

Sounds like that traumatised the little boy, too. Sad

Original poster
birdynumnums · 01/12/2011 23:49

Amanita, that is really cruel and hurtful. We put in plenty of time but the dog was genuinely bonkers. He was a border collie and could just not adapt to the change in lifestyle where babies were around. We loved that dog and tried so hard to keep him (including moving house) but realised after a while, what we were doing was making him miserable. And he went to a beautiful home where he seems happier than ever.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 01/12/2011 23:49

Ds1 has severe speech delay so it surprises me when he says many things let alone things that happened 7 months ago. Is this weird? Or do I just think it is because of his speech delay?

My eldest, who has DAP, would suddenly pick up on conversations/situations from 6-12 months ago. It's quite disconcerting as you have to rack your brains to wonder exactly what he's on about.

He's 16 now and still the same - although I only have to rewind a month or two these days.

I feel a bit sorry for the dog though - although its nice he's been rehomed well.

icapturethecastle · 01/12/2011 23:51

It is such a shame your DS was upset however it is so intriguing how their memories work. My DS who is 4 remembers the oddest things and I think how can you possibly remember that. Someone told me (but don't know how true it is) that their memory is quite good now but when they get to about 5 they starting forgetting things from their early years. I only have a few memories from when I was 2-3 years. It is very interesting how the brain works.

troisgarcons · 02/12/2011 00:01

The synaps in the brain shut down at 2.5 (or thereabouts) and rebuild pathways for adulthood.

I can clearly remember - honestly - things that happened when I was 9 months old! Honest! I can't though - it's all 'received' memory built up by stories told to me. But I can see it, clear as day!

reelingintheyears · 02/12/2011 00:05

What's DAP?

reelingintheyears · 02/12/2011 00:06

I can't remember what day of the week it is mostly.

aleene · 02/12/2011 00:10

My DS can quite clearly recall going to the hospital to visit his baby brother, he was 2 and a quarter.

squeakytoy · 02/12/2011 00:13

I have very clear memories of my maternal grandparents. My grandad died on my 2nd birthday and my grandma died just over a year later, but I can recall their house, them, their allotment, and even remember the day my grandma died. I have a few vague memories of other things from around that age, but those are the clearest ones.

WidowWadman · 02/12/2011 00:13

My daughter is 2.11 and her memory has definitely kicked in properly this summer - that she starts talking about events having that have happened in the past

tigerlillyd02 · 02/12/2011 00:14

Poor boy - sounds like it was an upsetting time for him :(

We had a similar situation. We had to rehome our dog in January this year. DS (now 2.1) often says "Benji" out of the blue - and once pointed to a labrador teddy when shopping saying "Ah look, Benji". So, I assume from that he remembers him. Again, like yours he didn't have that much to do with him, other than looking through a stair gate sometimes.

If your DS is able to understand, it might be worth trying to explain to him that Jacob is now very happy and he gets to play all day.... or something along those lines... just in case he's viewing it in a negative light.

troisgarcons · 02/12/2011 00:15

DAP = Delayed Auditory Perception.

Basically its if you say "go make a cup of tea" he can do that because he visually knows what making a up of tea entails. However if you said .... go fill a kettle up, boil it, get the tea pot, warm it, add tea, etc etc .... it causes a processing melt down in too many instructions at once that the brain cannot process.

He had speech delay too. A whole gamut of borderline issues, none of which were severe enough to warrant a full diagnosis, but severe enough for him not to really attend school for two years.

montmartre · 02/12/2011 00:18

DS (2.8)started talking about something that happened 14 mo ago last week!

It wasn't anything extraordinary, just a particular shop we'd been to on one occasion. Honestly- they remember the oddest things!

Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 02/12/2011 00:23

My DD is 3.5 and she remembers a sticker the dentist gave her over a year ago. It was a very big Tinkerbell sticker but nevertheless I was amazed.

Original poster
birdynumnums · 02/12/2011 00:24

Yes we told him tonight that Jacob is really happy, riding a tractor and playing on the farm all day. He smiled a lot and said said yes he knew. (Many of our friends have laughed at us for believing this but our dog did genuinely go to live on a farm).

OP posts:
springydaffs · 02/12/2011 02:01

excuse me trois but I remember lying in my cot, looking through the bars, the patterns the sun made on the wall through the curtains. And we didn't have a photo of that and nobody was there but me.

Sibling4 · 02/12/2011 03:17

We moved house 5 months ago when DS was just 2

Yesterday a man came to read the electricitymeter. Thinking out loud I said 'gosh where is the electricity neter'. DS said 'it's downstairs in the little sitting room'

In our old house the meter was indeed downstairs in the cellar in the very seldom used little sitting room. How he knew that is beyond me, and that he remembered equally baffling

ShengdanRoad · 02/12/2011 03:39

I'm also pretty appalled that you rehomed the dog. If the dog didn't like the baby, would you rehome the baby?

nearlytherenow · 02/12/2011 03:50

I think the memory thing is normal, but I agree that it can be disconcerting. My DS1 is 3.3. A couple of weeks ago we had to pop into a kitchen showroom to pick up a spare part. When we pulled up outside, DS1 announced "this is where we got our kitchen from!". We got the kitchen over a year and a half ago - he would have been around 18-19 months at the time. There were several prolonged visits to the kitchen showroom, but I was truly amazed that he remembered - it has never really been discussed since. I hadn't even said why we were going to the showroom, it was just an afterthought tagged on to another trip. Amazing little minds!