To be freaked out by this? 3 year old's memory

[birdynumnums]

7 months ago, we had to rehome our lovely dog because he was so mad he was knocking DS1 (3.5 year old) and and Ds2 over all the time and we were constantly having to lock him in the conservatory when the children were up. DS1 didn't have anything to do with the dog apart from waving at him through the glass for at least a year before he went. It was very upsetting but dog is in a lovely home now. At the time, he asked where Jacob the dog was but didn't seem overly upset by it.

Tonight, he woke up screaming, demanding to know where Jacob was. Then though fits of tears, he said 'Jacob is in grandad's car'. His grandad came to drive the dog to his new home 7 months ago. Ds1 has severe speech delay so it surprises me when he says many things let alone things that happened 7 months ago. Is this weird? Or do I just think it is because of his speech delay?

blimey some very touchy people on here today

Oh my word what an odd thread, OP you must be wondering what you've started!

I wonder if the doggy people have ever made a slightly unwise choice and then had to deal with the consequences later? Sounds like the OP did everything she could, which was more than many would have done. Leave her alone.

My sister (now 20) has always been able to remember that when she was 2 I worked in a KFC and that once Mum brought her in and I slipped a couple of extras into her meal. Funny what sticks in children's memories. I can't remember anything before the age of about 4.

I just knew when I read the first line of the op that the dog bores would latch on to it.

Neither of my children seem to remember anything except where food is stored and what channel fireman Sam is on.

OP that's such a lovely memory for your son to have. Ignore the shit, and you certainly don't need to try and justify yourself on here. I may be wrong...but I'm pretty sure that the majority would put their children first. I know I would.

Gosh. If circumstances change give the dog a new (better) home please.

Dogs are stuck in all day as owners work, shut in rooms out of the way because they knock over their elderly owners, shut upstairs as their barking annoys neighbours etc etc . Definitely give them away to a more suitable home....... where are these people coming from.

OP you did the right thing by rehomong your dog. We have a dog (dog 3) who was rehomed to us from a couple who had a small house and 2 young children. They dog is actually quite well trained but it had all gone horribly wrong for them between the dog and their children and they just couldnt cope.

Dog is a very hyper labradoodle who was very stressed when she arrived (and not properly housetrained). But we have 2 other dogs, older children, loads of space and I work from home. 3 yrs on she is just part of our pack and as happy as larry.

They should never have got the dog in the first place, but at least they had the sense to give her to a more suitable home.

Ofgs. No-one is hating anybody. DO get a grip, please.

It's too late to advise the op on her dog, yes, but if one more person who is thinking they might get a dog comes along and is sparked into thinking ahead a bit more, then something good will have become of this whole mess.

You don't seriously expect any dog lover or rescue worker to come along and say "Dear, dear, never mind OP. Get another dog later on. If it doesn't work out you can always rehome it again" do you?

People do need to start to think more before they take on a commitment as big as dog ownership, you only need to look at how many dogs are killed in pounds or dumped in rehoming centers each year to see that something is going wrong somewhere and it needs to change.

And another thing 'Gosh. If circumstances change give the dog a new (better) home please.

Dogs are stuck in all day as owners work, shut in rooms out of the way because they knock over their elderly owners, shut upstairs as their barking annoys neighbours etc etc . Definitely give them away to a more suitable home....... where are these people coming from.' NO! Don't give your dog away if circumstances change. Think ahead and if if circumstances are likely to change in a way that would make dog ownership difficult get a fucking fish instead. Don't add to the hundreds of thousands of unwanted dogs that are already looking for new homes. I adore Huskies but I can't have one because I don't have the space or time. You can't always have what you want in life.

So if you don't know exactly how your life will pan out over the next 15 years then you shouldn't get a dog? Oh don't be so bloody stupid.

That's not what I said Seeker. If you are at PT college or Uni you can be fairly certain that at some point you'll have a f/t job - don't get a dog until you have a job and know whether you'll be able to afford a dog walker during your working day. Same if you are on mat leave and you intend to go back to work.

If you are of child bearing age get a dog that will be suitable to live with children and train and socialise it well before you even start planning children.

If you intend on moving house don't get a dog until you have found your new house and know how much space you will have.

Obviously there are things that will happen that are completely unexpected such as illness or redundancy and so sadly rescue centers will always be needed. Having children is not one of those things.

Is it not? I didn't expect to have any more children, I certainly didn't expect to have to spend long periods at the end of the pg in hospital, I also didn't expect a prem baby who had to spend time in hospital.

It didn't matter how much training he had he was nervous anxious and couldn't be left on his own even for an hour without getting into a state. If I'd left him at home on his own for months I'd hate to think what it would have done to him. So I took the advice of the vet and RSPCA and he went to them to be assesed, treated and rehomed. I could have put him in the paper and sold him for £500, but I wanted to make sure he was in the best environment for him, with people who could cope with his needs.

Moomin of course there are going to be people who think ahead about their likely life in a few years, plan accordingly, get a pet that fits those plans, and then something happens outside their control which means their pet is sadly no longer appropriate.

I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about people who get a pet without even thinking about the fact that they intend to have DCs in a few years' time and the pet will still be around and won't work terribly well with the DCs. They do exist, sadly.

funny "birdy I have no idea why you are justifying yourself." - I don't think she's 'justifying herself', I think she's explaining, which is fine.

birdy "I can say with 100 percent clarity that we did our best and it's all worked out in the end." Then hold on to that knowledge and don't feel bad about what anyone else is saying.

For me it is the nature of dogs that makes rehoming such a sad option; they are a family group animal who tend to bond very strongly with their owner, and suffer confusion and distress when parted from that owner. Obviously it varies from dog to dog how devoted to their owners they are, but for some dogs it would be very traumatic to be parted from their family and kept in a rescue kennel. Cats, on the other hand, tend to be attached to places as much as to people (another generalisation, I know) - hence cats going miles back to their old house after a move, or buggering off to a new home at the drop of a titbit.

OP I think most people do things in their early 20s without a lot of forethought - I had two very large snakes for a number of years which I eventually rehomed, and I've also rehomed guinea pigs and rabbits when my circumstances changed (so now you can splutter 'pot... kettle... black' at me if you like ). But these were animals that were bonded to each other, not to me (and the snakes weren't bonded to anyone), whereas my dog is devastated if I go to the loo without her, let alone think about rehoming her.

Look, you did the best you could, and it worked out fine, so don't let anyone upset you. As someone else said, if this thread makes someone think a bit more about whether it's sensible and responsible to get a dog (or breed of dog), then it's a good thing.

And seeker of course noone knows where they'll be in 15 yrs time, but you can make educated guesses, look at your plans and priorities (travel, kids, career etc) and attempt to make a responsible decision.

it's all a bit like a staunch BF thread really and you will NEVER win. Such is the way with dogs and breasts...................

See funny... there's me trying to be all reasonable and seeing everyone's points of view, and then you say something childish and ridiculous like
""

and I just think fuck off you ignorant bitch "goodness me, why on earth can't you make more of an effort to see things how others see them?"

ah see thats a different thread. Why not come on and abuse me there?

Mind you, you did start it with your total derailing of a thread 'just because it mentioned dogs' stance

BTW, you really need to get a sense of humour/reality

Yes I always love it when people are rude, and then try to pass it off as being somehow funny.

I like to be funny, and sometimes I really like to be rude, but I do distinguish between the two.

Oh and yes I'm aware I started the dog thing, in reaction to the OP's description of what her dog experienced. I've apologised to the OP; I certainly don't see any need to apologise to anyone else.

"there's me tying to be all reasonable..."

Hmmm mm.

"Poor dog because it was unfortunate to be passed on like an old toy because noone would put in the time to train it not to jump up. Whether or not he's happy in his new home, he still suffered the trauma of being chucked out by the people he loved"

Incredibly reasonable!!

@ seeker "Birdy I'm sorry I hurt your feelings; I should have kept my opinion to myself, since you weren't canvassing opinions on the dog. I'm glad the dog is happy now. Hopefully your DS will forget over time."

How about "I'm really sorry I barrelled in with unwarranted assumptions - I'm a bit irrational on the subject of dogs. Of course you should put your children's safety before that of a dog"

How about "this is aibu, so obviously everyone is entitled to post their opinion, and if you post on a public forum that you rehomed your dog because it was no longer convenient, some people are going to comment on that. And others don't give a flying fuck about dogs, so obviously they'll disagree"?

At no point, btw, has the OP mentioned that the dog showed the slightest hint of aggression, so I fail to see why it's a safety issue.

Amanita..... Having been knocked over by large hyper dogs as a child (my parents had a lot of childless friends with rotties, Alsatians, labs, etc) I can tell you when your face hits a tiled floor and a dog is standing on your back it bloody hurts.

And it only takes one time for the dog to do it to the child near a hard corner/radiator/etc and that's a pretty serious head injury.

In fact... saying you fail to see how a border collie knocking a barely walking child to the ground is a safety issue makes me wonder if you're just posting provocatively to cause trouble