To not want to get up earlier, than on weekdays, on a Sunday to take my children to church. Particularily on Christmas day?

[twinklingfairy]

My thread titles are always rubbish. Half way down the thread I think, god I wish I hadn't called it that it is so misleading!

Anyway.
2 children 5yr and 3yr old.
We have to be up and out, like most other people, for school.
So 5 days out of 7 we rush around getting there on time (just).
Mine are like me. They Love their sleep!
I often have to wake them to get them going.
We normally take the car so we get there by the skin of our teeth.

I was brought up catholic and the nearest church is in the next town, 10min car journey.
So, to get there would mean getting up even earlier on a Sunday.

but, Sunday school is straight after and I don't feel I can just drop them there and not bother with the whole church thing.
Unless I take them in at 630 for an hour long service, thus making them late to bed by the time we are done. Only to hustle them out the door for 10am Sunday School.

AIBU to tell my parents, no, sorry it is just not that important to me. I am a lapsed catholic. Gave it up the minute I left home.
My dad told me tonight that we had to 'talk' about it.
I asked was that one of those 'talks' where I don't get to 'talk' he said , No.
He seemed pleasant enough about it, but I have a foreboding feeling, dun dun duuuun.

It has come up because I have been very brave and told them that we are not coming to them for christmas day. That we will be spending it at home so that the children have a relaxed day.
My mum tried to guilt me into coming in (well, it worked last year) but I withstood the onslaught and braved my way through all 3 attempts (your sister will be very disappointed. Your father will miss you. I would like to see the children on Christmas day too)
But I have been tripped by the final hurdle.
Will you be bringing them in to Mass?

Doof, wallop < I have fallen>

My line was
If my children don't get up until 8 am on a normal day, and I doubt they will on christmas day (though, I may be wrong of course) then are you suggesting that I say, Yes, Your Santa sacks are in the Living room but you can't look at them cos you have to get dressed as quickly as you can, we have to go to church!

Or, yes yes dear that is lovely. Isn't Santa nice! Now eat some food and leave it all alone, we have to go, Now!

It doesn't seem fair to me?

Their line
It is Christmas day, Twinkling.
Christs day.
It is not about the presents?

AIBU
They have a point it is Christs day afterall
Or am I being stupidly weak

I think it is important that people DO shop around when it comes to religion and church. What I would look for in a church would be what they offer to families. If they have activities for everyone in the family, men, women, children and teenagers.

exactly - you only have to look at the opinions on the religion chat thread for examples of that - I love traditional, choral and organs; madhairday likes modern, hates robes and loves guitars; others go to cathedrals for worship, others embrace all sorts; others are more middle-of-the-road; and some are very alternative in their style. even thoughts on the structure of the service change - I like structure where the prayers are the same every week, so that I can learn them and don't have to look at the book, and others like it where there are new prayers every week, so that they change with the season and are relevant to them on that day.

Told my Dmum tonight, that we will be going to our local church on christmas eve.
Just dropped it into conversation, actually totally forgot that it would be a big deal for her, and threw it in as I was leaving tonight after a family get together that had been great.
I had thought on it once or twice but didn't want to bring it up over the dinner table.
Had to say something, though would have happily left it if it hadn't slipped out, because a VV good friend of my dads was the organist at the church we went to this morning.
I reckon it slipped out because I really took to this church and it seemed a completely natural place to be today, therefore natural to want to go christmas eve.

My mum sort of pulled her head/chin back, looked very confused and said 'Why would you want to go to someone elses church??'
I totally stumbled having just realised what I said, and said the very worst thing.
I said the timing was better, it was closer.
She said 'but you are meant to be bringing DD in for Sunday School every week?'
I said that I was doing a lot of thinking about things of late, making a lot of decisions about things...............
Then I kinda ran away because I had stumbled enough, made a total hips of it, was worried that she would either explode with anger or with upset.
She just stayed quiet and I bid a cheery cheerio.

DSis was there whilst all this sent on and she didn't come out immediately so you can guess that some sort of discussion went on. When she came out to her car she didn't look at me but went straight to say cheerio to my LOs (could be that it was nothing, mightn't have been intentional)
Dad came out, as is his way (even in this freezing weather) to wave from the garden. I expected him to say something but he was fine, as if he didn't know. I was pretty sure he was there at the same time as DSis and mum, but I could be wrong.

Will see them all again on Tuesday night for DDs school concert and Dads Carol singing thing so I guess the fall out will hit then.
Little bit scared, little bit disappointed in me

Ring her tomorrow and say that you'd meant to talk about it when you had more time, and you felt worried that she was upset. Don't have it hanging over you when you go there.

horrible dilemma isn't it.
I'm in a similar but different situation. my father is a reverent and it is his last christmas before retiring.
he wants us to attend the christmas eve children's service, midnight mass and the christmas day service.
christmas eve service starting an hour after we arrive at the airport.
problem is I have never been a member of his church as we live abroad and everytime we have been it has been embarrassing being shown of to the old ladies of his parish...+ 2 small dc who will not stay still during service...

oh that is a bit of pressure and actually fretting children is one of the reasons I am not so keen on my parents choice of church. The priest just doesn't cope and I think it is a tad unfair to expect them to remain so still.
OTOH in both the churches I have taken my LOs to for the past 2 sundays, DD has been able to tell DH what the priest was talking about.
joan I am really not sure that I want to put myself in that firing line, though it does seem like a good idea.

Work out something simple to say to her in advance that you can just keep repeating - maybe 'but that's YOUR church, it's never felt like MY church. I wanted to find a local community church that was right for my family'.

Good luck!

I would say to her that the reason is the church suits you better, and you didn't mean it was just because of timings.