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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to conduct this straw pole...answer A B or C

146 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 01/12/2011 19:02

picture the scene if you will...

you are working a 7 day week. today you have worked a 9 hour day, starting at 7am, with hardly a break, you missed lunch as you were so busy.

you arrive home in the evening and you pass your DP/DH as he is going to work as you come in.

you cook a meal for your 2 teenagers, one of whom is 20 tomorrow. As that meal is almost ready, you call your 2 to come and get their meal.

as you are serving up the meal your 20 yr old shouts to you " what did you call me for? you said it was ready, i am busy"

would you:
A) serve him his meal with a sweet smile and an apology for interrupting his busy schedule?
B) make sure that before he left the room he was wearing his meal.
C) tell him to bog off back to his busy life and scrape his meal into the dog.

please do tell me what you would do, as i am most interested to find out if i was unreasonable. i chose one of the options above....i will tell you which one later.
thankyou

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 02/12/2011 21:03

its ok everyone - you can stop with the A B or C now, Grin ( i did C anyway just to teach him a lesson but) then i got the apology which i posted above....made my heart go smushy.

i did also post that he has aspergers (and dyspraxia and dysexia) he was brain damaged when he was 3, but having said that i have never allowed him to get away with being a mardy sod or being rude! i nearly said little bugger but he is a good 6" taller than me now...

anyway. he redeemed himself with the apology above....up there somewhere ^^

and he did alot more around the house today.

i had to cook anyway when i got home tonight, for DD, i did a big pan of broccoli and stilton soup which was easy but very nice! (thanks soups thread!)

he redeemed himself enough to be fed.

the dog looks fed up though. Xmas Grin

OP posts:
architien · 02/12/2011 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

architien · 02/12/2011 21:14

Just asked MNHQ to delete my post. ahgrh, it took far too long for me to press "post" and now I'm ultra neon Blush

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 02/12/2011 21:15

C definitely had the desired effect.....he redeemed himself spectacularly....explained on previous page for anyone who can be arsed to go back one page to page 5....long may it reign!

OP posts:
architien · 02/12/2011 21:16

Just picked 3 years old out of the air Blush Oh God I'm sorry for taaking so long to press post.

frumpet · 02/12/2011 21:33

D. if you ever speak to me like that again , i will
a. answer the phone /door to anyone and everyone asking for you by telling them you are too busy waxing your back/sac/crack and that you will be quite some time
and
b. i will the guy who fancies me in IT to hack into your facebook account (follow with lots of mwahahahahahahaha)
then smile sweetly and leave room

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 02/12/2011 21:39

architien - its fine! thank you anyway...it worked! please dont worry and no need to delete your post at all. Xmas Grin

happy xmas to all. im now on the Wine.

OP posts:
frumpet · 02/12/2011 21:42

E. dont say anything ,wait until they go out and then carefully remove the enter key and spacebar from their computer/laptop , drives them potty that oneGrin

frumpet · 02/12/2011 21:45

Oh God vicar was too busy being evil to see the apology , bless him ! Keep my suggestions in your arsenal though just in case .

microserf · 02/12/2011 21:46

Xmas Smile this thread made me smile! a glass of wine for you Wine vicarinatutu. your son is lovely.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 02/12/2011 21:46

Awww!

Funnily enough, my 4yo DD said almost exactly the same thing to me today; I dragged her away from Peppa Pig to some fish fingers that were still in the oven. Luckily, at this age, you can just make this face => Hmm and she sits down and shuts up.

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 02/12/2011 22:22

nipping back quick just to say he went to the shop earlier for his sister (for his sister!!! not for him! AND he asked me if i wanted anything!

success!!

thanks all of you...his message did overwhelm me earlier because in it he shows with quite stunning clarity that he can empathise, or at least look like he is!
and that is a major breakthrough in an aspie, i want more than anything for him to be a success at university and in life i guess, and sometimes it feels like i am fighting a losing battle, and then he sent that message, and it restores my hopes for him, he does so well considering what he has had to overcome. I am trying to teach him to become independent, but it is difficult.

i just have to spit the dummy out occasionally.

OP posts:
marriedandwreathedinholly · 02/12/2011 22:30

Having a tear for you. Well done. Fab mum. He'll be fine - he's been loved. Being loved means taking a bit of flak sometimes because people care about you - and the journey you have forged on his behalf means he knows it.

Fecklessdizzy · 02/12/2011 22:41

Aah, bless ... Xmas Smile I was going for C, by the way ...

Fraidylady · 02/12/2011 22:49

I'd scrape his meal into the fridge to use tomorrow (for myself).

WetAugust · 02/12/2011 23:06

Big mistake incalling him down for tea in the first place.

My approach with 23 year old:

Open understairs cupboard
Flick switch that supplies electricity to his romm to 'OFF'
A few minutes later he wanders downstairs to say his PC isn't working

That's when you tell him it's tea time Grin

Happy Birthday D

Must be time for some Wine by now

ratspeakeratsolstice · 02/12/2011 23:06

Can I just say I came home tonight with DH to find DS had cooked tea for us

it's so nice

My pals son is ASPIE
He needs to be told " here is your food, i spent a while making it, Tomorrow YOU will cook" then he needs to be shown how to
Teach and get him to repeat

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 02/12/2011 23:24

wetaugust - how are you my friend! yes your approach would have worked far far better - in fact i could have just switched the router off....i could have set my watch and he would have been down within 30 seconds.

i will pass him your birthday wishes.

where do you hang out on here? i miss you!

it is definitely Wine time...

OP posts:
WetAugust · 02/12/2011 23:37

Hi Vic

Still dipping into the SN board, SCD threads, anywhere and everywhere Wine

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 02/12/2011 23:43

well i am so glad i bumped into you....this place is so much bigger than the last and i dont run into you very often - i often think of you though! hope things are ok with you....has your D finished uni?

in some ways i cant wait for mine to go and then the reality hits....its going to be hard to let him go.

i dont know who i am kidding about cooking skills....he will live off cereal and pizza...

OP posts:
lisaro · 03/12/2011 01:36

C, dinner's warm - it's in the dog.

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