to conduct this straw pole...answer A B or C

[ThatVikRinA22]

picture the scene if you will...

you are working a 7 day week. today you have worked a 9 hour day, starting at 7am, with hardly a break, you missed lunch as you were so busy.

you arrive home in the evening and you pass your DP/DH as he is going to work as you come in.

you cook a meal for your 2 teenagers, one of whom is 20 tomorrow. As that meal is almost ready, you call your 2 to come and get their meal.

as you are serving up the meal your 20 yr old shouts to you " what did you call me for? you said it was ready, i am busy"

would you:
A) serve him his meal with a sweet smile and an apology for interrupting his busy schedule?
B) make sure that before he left the room he was wearing his meal.
C) tell him to bog off back to his busy life and scrape his meal into the dog.

please do tell me what you would do, as i am most interested to find out if i was unreasonable. i chose one of the options above....i will tell you which one later.
thankyou

Speaking as an architect, I don't think a " straw pole " would be a very good idea, structurally.

Speaking as a lover of horror, when I read " straw pole " I immediately thought that the Wicker Man had been re made (again) but this time in eastern Europe.

Oh, and - definitely 'C' :)

C

If I had worked that hard I would have expected my 20 year old son to cook for me instead...think you need to turn the tables!!

If that were my lad it would be B. He'd be wearing it as a hat. Swiftly followed by C 'cos the dog would scoff anything even remotely related to food.

C, definitely, with a rota drawn up for who cooks when from then on. He's 20 and home earlier than you? Then he gets dinner on the table, even if he chooses to pay, with his own money, for a takeaway.

Aspergers or not he needs to learn how to function in a busy family. It maybe something you need to actually teach him if he can't work it out for himself. If he functions at 2/3 his chronological age then he should be working at a 12-13yr old age. At 12/13 I'd expect him to understand that whether he can read emotions or guess what I'm feeling or not - if I cook dinner he is required to eat it ( did you give a " 15 minute warning"?) and to help clear up.

If he doesn't like it tough! He's living at home and unless he has his own money he is not getting a take out later- there is weetabix or toast!!

He needs to be gradually weaned from rude/ unhelpful to able to do a bit to help iif you are late ( my very non domestic 15yr old can wash and stick baked spuds in the oven if I call ahead and ask, and his overly domesticated I blame the childminder 12yr old sis will peel veg.

It'll be a painful learning curve. I appreciate he doesn't function well socially/ emotionally, but learning to do normal stuff and fi into the family better will be great at home and set him up better for uni.

well i have to forgive him because he posted this on my FB status where i had had a similar rant to on here....

DS wrote:
" I'd go for B...I just wanted to say I'm sorry, I have done more than my fair share of being an arse these last few days. I want to say what an amazing mum you are and how there could never be anyone like you in the world and that sometimes I take that for granted. As I approach 20, thank you for being there for me through my life, raising me and helping me when I felt helpless, and fighting my corner for me when no-one else would. Good luck at work tomorrow, and although I don't always show it, and you may not feel it... remember that you will always come above anyone, I love you mum xxxxx "

a colleague told me to read my FB while i was at work today which was a big mistake because i ended up crying...

i havent done that bad a job then have i?

and when i got in tonight the kitchen was spotless! pots washed! tops wiped! tidy!!!

yay! it did some good somewhere....now to see how long it lasts!

C.

Vicar that is lovely :)

Blimey, that has set me off too

Aww Vicar, made me cry too!

Awwww

Half as in B, half as in C.

I was going to answer B or C but after your last post have reverted back to A!

How sweet

i havent done that bad a job then have i?

Sounds to me like you have done an amazing job! Well done!

thank you greenbananas

ta to all the others too who answered and made me feel so much better last night!

it was rather sweet wasnt it? he is 20 today. he had his gifts last week, i took him shopping, scrubbed him up and got his hair cut....he no longer looks like he has been living under a bridge for a few months

i am thankful that though he often doesnt recognise when i am nearing the brink, he almost always realises when i have just fallen over it!

Bless you, Vicar

Your DS sounds lovely. I know empathy is difficult for lots of young people, and particularly difficult for young people with Aspergers Syndrome, but your DS seems to be trying to grasp this really well. Hope he keeps it up

(I have known a fair few young people with AS through my work, and I am also a bit borderline myself... I really do cringe when I think about how my poor long-suffering mother must have struggled when I was in my teens!)

Here's a story that I hope you and your son will appreciate: After my first term at university, my mum found me rinsing out the bath after I had used it. She stopped in the doorway, completely struck with amazement. "What are you staring at?", I said. "In my halls of residence it is social death not to clean the bath". I will never forget how she laughed

Happy birthday to your son, and best of luck to him when he leaves home to go studying.

not answering any because I have no idea why a 20 year old is waiting for you to cook for them in the first place.

not read the thread then ouryve? nope.

c,

but 'giving it to the dog' would be a euphemism for me snaffling second helpings [greedy]

A... but so full of sarcasm that he will get the message

oops, late to thread

Awwww, wipes eyes.
(and C