to be disgusted at these mother's behaviour in Sainsburys cafe?

[rhondajean]

Popped in with DH and DDs at lunchtime.

Three women at the table behind me with five children between them.

All small children, one in buggy, but the rest around 3 -5 years, so not babies.

The children were picking food to pieces and throwing it on the floor. Now I have raised two small children, I know they make crumbs, but this was unreal. They were shovelling food onto the floor, followed by two innocent smoothies which they tipped half of on floor, followed by the cartons, followed by whatever else they could put down.

The mess when they stood up to leave was utterly disgusting and not one of them made a move to clear it up at all. If it was my children, the mess would have been stopped, but I would have been utterly horrified. They continued to talk to each other through the entire incident and didnt stop once to tell the children to stop and pick up after themselves.

Some poor cafe worker had to deal with that after they left. Am I wrong to be appalled? I cant help feeling judgey. Do they let the kids do that at home??

Aarg grammar, it should be mothers' behaviour

Some people have shit on the floor in our cafe. Mess like that will be nothing to them.

But I would be judgey too.

Did they actually leave without attempting clear up?

Mantic

I always pick up after my terrors (5 & 3) when we eat out. I scoop all the bits into napkins so the surfaces are clear for the staff. Wouldn't want anyone to slip on the floor either.

I just couldn't wander out and leave food on the floor like that!

Amazing. I have always cleared up the worst of dd's mess (never did purees so could be messy!), wiping worst off high chair, picking up the main bits off the floor etc...I thought that was the norm.

Be careful posting this! I once started a very similar thread about some mums letting their children make a mess in a restaurant and one of them saw the thread. I was very embarrassed!

Omg really mantic??? Dirty bassas.

They did, they called their children and wandered off. I couldnt believe it (had spent several minutes stacking our places on tray/putting all the rubbish in a paper cup etc).

I hope they do see it actually, if I had been a bit braver I would have said "I think you missed something" and pointed as they left - but heck passive agressive behaviour is hard to change.

I once started a very similar thread about some mums letting their children make a mess in a restaurant and one of them saw the thread. I was very embarrassed!

No reason why you should be embarassed, they were the ones behaving like a chimps tea party.

That's vile. I always clear up after the boys. I make sure the plates are stacked and all the dropped food is on a plate. Sometimes I'm told by the staff not to worry about it and they'll do it but I always make a point of clearing up.

I always clear up the bulk of any mess the DC have made -I couldn't just walk away (but then again, they wouldn't be allowed to behave as you have described).

When DS1 was 13 months, we went to a chinese buffet restaurant so DS1 was in a highchair and at the stage where quite a bit of food did go on the floor. When we had finished, I started picking it all up and the waitress rushed over with a dustpan and brush and told me to leave it and she would do it...her words were something like "you haven't come out for a meal to tidy up, that is my job'. I thought that was such a lovely gesture and have never forgotten it - unfortunately we were away for the weekend so not likely to be able to go back to that restaurant again!

Stranded the woman in the restaurant wasn't being stroppy about it when she told me to stop - she was just being really lovely and helping us enjoy our evening

One of the joys of the holiday we went on when DS was 13 months was that the waiters wouldn't LET us clear up after DS. He was at the very, very, messy stage.

We would try and at least two would rush over and stop us.

However, to EXPECT other people to clear up mess that you did nothing to minimise or stop is extremely rude and worthy of a good judgy-pull-pant

I was in a restaurant in Orlando a few years ago (a lobster place) and there was an American family there whose children (3, between about 5-10 years old) were causing chaos - throwing food, tipping drinks, crumbling crackers over the seats. They were shouting at staff too (who were trying to clear up as best they could). All the while, the parents and their friends were completely ignoring it. It was unbelievable. When they got up to leave, the whole restaurant burst into a round of applause.

I also try and clear up as best as possible after my 2.
Not fair on staff Otherwise.

Have a confession though, my child did not poo in restaurant but had a wee accident, I told staff and apologised but didn't clean up as needed to clean my child up
Was that bad?

I'm that poor cafe worker. I once went to clear a table and floor after some mums had been and it was just disgusting. There was more food on the floor than anywhere and one of the mums babies had been sick over her shoulder and she had just left it for me.

They never leave tips either, ever.

Gits.

YANBU. On the way back from my cousin's funeral we stopped at a pub-type restaurant with 10mo DS and after he had finished throwing everything on the floor eating I was down on my hands and knees picking up food and wiping down the table. The waitress rushed over to say not to worry about it, she would get the vacuum cleaner dustpan and brush out but there is not any situation where I would leave a mess like you've described.

One of my most embarrassing experiences ever was last year taking 8mo DS into the John Lewis cafe when a shopping trip overran by quite a lot, ordering and then realising I hadn't brought a bib or any spare clothes. It was pasta in tomato sauce :( When DS had finished coating the highchair, the table, the floor and himself in tomato sauce, I stripped him off and took him off to clean him up in the loos, meaning to tidy up when I got back. By the time we got back two of the waitresses had taken the highchair outside and were cleaning it with a hose and everything else was spotless. Boy did I feel bad!

Have you ever read that anecdote, Steve Covey's I think, about a man upbraiding a father on public transport whose kids are running riot? He was irritated enough to ask the father why he doesn't do something to control his kids. The father replied, "We just got back from the hospital where their mother died. I don't know how to handle it and I guess they don't either."

Who knows what's going on in people's lives, eh? Yes, people should clear up after themselves but it seems a pointless waste of human energy to judge someone for it. I'd feel sorry for the cafe worker, though.

YANBU. But I wouldn't be at all surprised if I had seen it.

If mummydoit's thread was the one about pizza express and the children turned out to have SN and the mums had spoken to the waitress before they left then I remember it! And you couldn't tell the full story just by judging from across the restaurant (althought we all do!)

I would have judged too, though I suspect that, like you, OP, I wouldn't have said anything to them.

*StrandedUnderTheMistletoe - I think you have a crumb under your k key. I have a similar problem with the left shift key on my keyboard when I try to close brackets. I'll do ks for you if you could close my brackets for me.

Gross behaviour and awful manners. But then some people are dragged up I guess. YANBU