to be disgusted at these mother's behaviour in Sainsburys cafe?

[rhondajean]

Popped in with DH and DDs at lunchtime.

Three women at the table behind me with five children between them.

All small children, one in buggy, but the rest around 3 -5 years, so not babies.

The children were picking food to pieces and throwing it on the floor. Now I have raised two small children, I know they make crumbs, but this was unreal. They were shovelling food onto the floor, followed by two innocent smoothies which they tipped half of on floor, followed by the cartons, followed by whatever else they could put down.

The mess when they stood up to leave was utterly disgusting and not one of them made a move to clear it up at all. If it was my children, the mess would have been stopped, but I would have been utterly horrified. They continued to talk to each other through the entire incident and didnt stop once to tell the children to stop and pick up after themselves.

Some poor cafe worker had to deal with that after they left. Am I wrong to be appalled? I cant help feeling judgey. Do they let the kids do that at home??

And OhdearNigel and LeQueen will have to share the Sword of Damocles nicely, otherwise I shall use my Hard stare, and will send them straight to the naughty step.

I also have a 'stop that right now' shout that has brought a whole playgroundful of parents and children to a stunned halt.

I have a cosh. Beat that !

I had a rare moment of joyful restaurant judging recently.

DS is incapable of sitting still so generally I am the one hauling a small child back to his seat and getting increasingly wild-eyed and high-pitched.

The other day DP, DS and I went out for Sunday lunch and for some bizarre reason DS decided to behave like a particularly precocious tiny angel, sitting nicely,using his cutlery properly and engaging us in vaguely coherent conversation.

At the next table there was a large group with 4 children aged about 7 to 11 who ran riot, annoying other diners, charging in and out of the toilets, crawling under the table and climbing onthe chairs. Their parents weren't remotely fussed until one of the mothers clocked DS sitting nicely and then she got in a complete snit and spent the rest of her lunch doing loud and ostentatious parenting about 'that's not how we behave in restaurants is it darling?' and 'I don't kow what has got into you today. You usually behave so well' with lots of sideways glaring at us as though we were somehow to blame.

The one attempt DS made to get down from his seat gained me a triumphant smile from the mother as though to say 'ha! Yours isn't any better than mine'

I would like to think my reciprocal smile said clearly 'yes, but mine is TWO'!

It was fun. And will probably never happen again.

op yanbu.

Shame on them for leaving a gross mess and not even trying to tidy up some of it. Disrespectful and bad mannered.

I am currently looking at a pesto-covered toddler with both hands in his bowl and a trail of food down his front.

Oh well, the moment was nice while it lasted....

Yanbu.

Once we were in a restaurant having a meal with an old friend of DH's and her family. My DD and her eldest child (sitting opposite each other) made a bit of mess around their highchairs, including a bowl of jelly tipped on floor by her child.

At end of meal I wiped the table and I got down onto floor and cleared up. DH's friend said that they ate out to avoid having to clear up any mess made by the kids and she never cleared up because that's partly what she was paying for. Tbh I don't much like her and wasn't surprised cos' she generally has a massive sense of entitlement.

YANBU, there are some real slobs around. And posh slobs too - think tidying up is beneath them!
If I were them I would pick up all the bits of food off the floor and ask for a cloth to wipe up the spillages. It doesn't take much effort. Wouldn't want the other diners thinking I was a slob
And people say oh it's only Sainsbury's but that's immaterial, you have to show consideration for others!

Oh dear it all went a bit haywire at one point...

Haha at "disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" but I really couldnt think of a better word to decribe what I felt.

SN - can I ask parents of SN children - I realise the difficulties you have, but do you not attempt to show your children what are acceptable social boundaries? because a few posters further up seem to suggesting that if you ignore your children, its because they have SN. Ive never experienced that.

I was also close enough (next table with my back to them) to hear most of the conversation and it wasnt revolving around redundancy or bereavement.

I thinkt he point i was making was, I KNOW children make mess. I have two of my own. But to sit and ignore them throwing food around and throwing rubbish on the floor?

Two of them were roaming round and one started screaming at the top of his voice at one point, noone moved to get him, mother shouted at him.

I ge that people have difficult times but surely your primary responsibility as a parent is your children? And this is failing them?

The attitude about people being paid to clear it up is appalling. Truly appalling. What a horrible thing to say.

I am also perplexed as to why basic manners and consideration for others do not seem to apply if it's "only Sainburys, not the Ritz".

Tee hee... We are recently back from our Friday morning ritual of a visit to our local cafe for a flat white, a fluffy and shared muffin with DS (2) and DD (1).

We sat outside, as ever, to minimise tidying up (it's summer here; we're not being martyrs!), and before leaving I stacked the cups and plates into a neat pile on the corner of the table for easy reaching, dusted down the table and high-chair, and rolled eyes at my own utter tediousness, before heading home.

However it seems like I am actually in good company.

Unless the mothers all have special needs, then I don't understand the difficulties in not being completely feral.

I have messy kids/babes but will pick everything up from floor and pile all the cups/plates neatly on a tray. sometimes i even get a wet wip out to clean the chair down.

Yes, it's not the way you would raise your kids and you would definitely be nice and clear up after yourself. But do you know the whole story? Not saying I'm not on your side. It's just easy to judge other people. When I was younger, I used to work as a waitress in a family restaurant. On Sundays particularly we pretty much knew that it was family day and that there would be loads of mess everywhere. I really didn't mind cleaning spaghetti off the walls as they weren't my walls or sweeping under the table etc. I used to reassure the mums who were nice enough to stress out about it that it was just fine and that's what I was there for. I am thinking in the Sainsburys cafe things get quite messy on a regular basis and this would not be an exception.