I am Not BU ...I know I'm not! Tell me if I am though!!! (feck, a long one!!!)

[troisgarcons]

I don't do real anger IRL - I save my Victor Meldew moments for dramatic effect . But I've gone past being miffed to bloody annoyed today to just a bit wound up at the moment!

So not so much of an AIBU (although you can tell me if am) more of a "give me a subtle and diplomatic form of words for tomorrow"

Back story - had a lot of building work done in the house necessitating a massive clear out of all that stuff you may keep.

I had a very expensive set of Disney books, roughly £300 worth plus a complete set of republished Ladybird ABC books, which were used by my 3 boys. All still immaculate (no turned corners, no broken spines, scribbles etc) because this is a book loving house. So they ranged from pre-school learning the alphabet, to building upon it and through to roughly aged 9 (ish) - and they were predominantly male orientated books.

My children have outgrown those books and I'm beyond cluttering the loft for 10 years in case grandchildren appear.

As you know I work in a school, which has a high SEN in take, many children still have a reading age of 5-7 despite being in Y9. I spoke with one of the lead LSAs - lovely, she said, bring them in, our books are a bit shoddy.

Took them in this morning, left them with the other lead LSA (who knew I was donating these books to the SEN Dept) with the comment "these are the books I promised you (on Monday) I've brought in for the (SEN) department".

I walked past the SEN dept 10 mins later, several TAs and one lead LSA on the floor stuffing books in handbags

I said "what are you doing?"
LSA "my grandson will love these"
Me: "I brought these in for the department"
LSA: "but my grandson will love these"
Me: cats arse face "I...donated...these to the the department
LSA: "but they are lovely, my grandson will love these"
Me: I think you misunderstood, I donated these for your 1-2-1
2 literacy time - TBH they are worth in excess of £300 - I could have sold them on eBay"
TA: "I'll buy you some chocolates!!!!"
Me: sarcasm mode "I need wine to get over this"
TA: "ok,wine it is then"
ME: (to the LSA) "I brought these in for the literacy time"
LSA "I know, but my grandson will love these"
Me: "you are missing the point - I donated these - I could have sold them if I didnt want them to be properly used"
LSA: "but my grandson will love these!"

I'm bloody annoyed. I think I was clear enough in what I said, and tone and facial expressions......... oh and the TA was leaving tonight with a heaving carrier bag, which she saw me pointedly looking at ....and said "I won't forget your wine tomorrow"

Do I

(A) accept that some children will benefit from those books and let it go and chalk it up to experience?

(B) see the SENCO tomorrow

in a bit of a catch 22 - the TA is by best mates SIL and the LSA and I work closely together at various points in the year and I need her good will for the smooth running of my job.

BUT! if either of them had said "Trois, those are lovely books, can I have a few please?" I would have willingly said yes.

As an aside, funding is short and these books would have enhanced the current curriculum reading schemes.

YANBU, I hate grabby people. The lady in question probably wants to use them as a Xmas present so she doesn't have to spend her own money. Picking up on spiderpigs comments, if the books weren't appropriate, they should have just been refused and given back to the OP, not that hard a conundrum! Just fills my head with images of some grabby people I encountered a few days ago... at a church no less, so I feel really angry for you OP.

lolaflores Nail. On. Head.

Sounds like a classic case of tunnel vision. They were unbelievably brazen but sometimes people don't really realise what they're like, they get set on trivial things.

I need to see an update on this - I can't believe how fucking rude these people were. If someone is stood in front of you telling you that the books have been donated to the school, you DO NOT carry on stashing them in your bag to take home. Fucking thieves.

You work in the school, you know what to do. Go in tomorrow and demand that the books are brought back in the same condition they left on Monday or you will report the theft of school property to the Head. That's if you want to be nice. If you don't then go in tomorrow and tell the Head what happened and ask them to get the books back.
(Ignore advice to contact the governors, as you'll know, they would not get involved at this stage).

p.s. In future don't be so subtle. When the LSA said "My grandson would love these" the answer was "They aren't for your grandson so take them out of your bag and put them back. I'll be giving the SENCO a list of these books to check they are all there because I've donated them to THE SCHOOL". Then you should have stood over her and watched her replace them.

I hope this has been sorted out with the return of the books OP.

I'm really angry on your behalf.

It all sorted its self out today.

The SENCo called me in, in excruciating embarassment. Apologised profusely .... and said the books would be back (tomorrow) morning. He asked if I would be gracious enough to put it down to a complete misunderstanding! Which I was. I'm not on a witch hunt for anyones job.

So alls well that ends well.

Havent seen any of the TAs at all today, which is unusual as my office is opposite their department. I guess we are all side-stepping each other.

Whoo hoo. Result. Maybe next time the woman with sticky fingers and a lack of common sense/decency/awareness will think twice.

It is theft.
YADNBU.
I have this same problem with the PTA at my son's school.
They ask for donations for the Christmas Fair and then rifle through it all taking stuff out that they like without even paying for it.

If they paid, it still wouldn't be good because then nobody else would ever get the nice stuff, but they don't even chuck a few quid in for it.

It makes me very very made and I'm fairly sure the donations would nosedive if people knew.

I would have prevented her from taking them myself, but I understand that that's confrontational and not everybody wants to do that.

Wow good result, you did fab trois :)

@damn yup I can wh you might have wanted to get physical but why put yourself in harms way there are mangers aid to sort this stuff out.

Bet you that there s a culture f this type f behaviour at this school and the OP has uncovered the tip of the iceberg

Brilliant. Hopefully they'll all be back soon!

Well that's good news.

I don't know how they could really call it a 'complete misunderstanding' though. I think you all know it wasn't, but the end result will hopefully be all the books returned with no lingering bad feeling between you all.

Well done OP.

Good news!

Good result - well done. A G&T is deserved I think

Good one OP.

Yay! Well done you and whoever else sorted it all out/came to their senses.

It was a complete misunderstanding. Of how to behave like a decent human being rather than a grabbing selfish idiot. Well done for sorting it out OP.

I'd only believe it once I saw the books back on the shelf with my own eyes I'm afraid.

Beautifully done (though I would count them and get them stamped if they're to stay at the school)

Some people don't seem to understand what theft is anymore.

Fabulously handled! Well done!

The stamping was for the books not the TAs/LSA

So glad it seems to be ok - but I hope you can remember the contents of your donation as you should definitely check every book is returned.

Had to go man the ticket desk for the school play tonight. TAs all went, all were ok with me - so I guess all is indeed well.

Point made. No one has lost face. I'd call that a result!