To contemplate dumping my boyfriend on New Years Eve, or maybe day?

[lovelydogs]

We were both just sitting on the sofa, me finishing a job application that has taken all day, he was paying attention to the news.

I heard something along the lines of..."bonuses to public service jobs cut to no more than 1%" and then the voice of the newsreader turns slow and grave "Benefits claimants money rises 5%"

It was the start of the news so it was repeated a few times, EVERYTIME he sighed, made a vocal noise of discontent and shook his head at the benefit bit. 5%? This reflects the cost of living I think, inflation? 5% on £60 is £3, yes?

£3 a week more. I don't think I could get a pack of loo roll for that. Maybe some more carrots, fruit etc. I can't think of any one thing that I could get with this increase that would make a huge difference to my standard of living. A tube of toothpaste? Which is fine, as it is just meant to reflect the cost of living.

But the thing is he acted like it did. Why would my boyfriend, who can see how hard I am trying to get a job, act like this in front of me?

My blood is boiling, I feel a hatred that I haven't felt before (well maybe I have) so AIBU to dump him?

Are you sure he wasnt sighing because he thought it should have been more?

Errrr why NYE or NYD?

And actually, why are you asking random strangers if you should dump your boyfriend?

Go and unfriend him on Facebook...that'll learn the bastard?

I'm confused, but maybe it's me because it's late and I was up early with a baby.

How is the sighing linked to you? Do you claim benefits and you resent his reaction to the 5% increase?

What does this have to do with applying for jobs, or dumping him on new years eve.

I feel very muddle headed!

Bed methinks.

I don't understand your post either, but why wait?

I think benefits should rise to keep pace with inflation - I also think that wages should rise in the same manner.

I think you should talk to him about it rather than reading so much into a sigh.

Maybe he was wondering how working people are capped at no more than 1% pay rises for 2 years AFTER a 2 year pay FREEZE but benefit claimants get 5% raise just like that ? That would make me shake my head in amazemnt/despair too - probaly nothng to do with you personally.

I think you are over reacting.

Sorry I should've explained myself better. Yes, I do claim benefits. (We don't live together) I also have applied for hundreds of jobs, I am still unemployed, this makes me depressed. I could be over sensitive.

Because of how hurtful he is I feel like New Years Eve would be a good time to do it. Maybe piss him off a bit?

What's Facebook?

What on earth are you on about. if you don't want ot be with your boyfriend any more why wait until NY eve or day?

But the thing is he acted like it did. Why would my boyfriend, who can see how hard I am trying to get a job, act like this in front of me?

Because he doesn't think of you as being 'on benefits', maybe?

I work with someone like your boyfriend, if that is the case. Her DH is disabled and therefore gets some benefits - colleague has mentioned this a few times in relation to motability, so it's not just an assumption.

This same colleague has also been known to tut and sigh about things like others receiving WTC (she doesn't have kids) and HB (they own their home.) I can only assume that she subconsciously blanks out the thought of her DH being a benefit recipient as benefits are something that other people claim.

It's odd.

But why did he keep sighing? Sighing? Like a sort of long expellation of his precious air. Was it passive aggressive silent commentary do you think?

God that would piss me right off too OP.

Perhaps its a resolution? :) In which case you must do it NYD because NYE is technically still this year and therefore cant be a resolution.

I think if you only get £60 a week and are spending more than 5% of your weekly income on toilet roll, you are buying too much toilet roll!

Dump him or don't, but if you hate him, why would you wait 5 weeks to dump him? Christmas day is sooner...

Are you off your head?

The guy sighs

Therefore you decide not to just dump him over his sigh, but to wait about 6 weeks in which to do so?

Are you sure he can manage to stay with you for that long?

AgnesBligg...yes! He is passive aggressive! He didn't think I was paying that much attention (I wasn't, trying to finish job app) but I did hear the sighs and tuts and shakes of head at all the benefit bits. In front of me, his GF, on benefits. I just don't understand it. I really don't.

Signet yes, I think it might be a resolution!

I mean think back....

You may have sneezed or farted last week and he could infact be planning to dump you on Christmas Eve....

OP are you going to dump him now or on NYE/day because he has a job and might have got you a really good xmas pressie and boxing day Dumping would seem well, churlish but NYE would REALLY make the point nicely?

hahaha good form op, wivya

Oh I was going to say kick him into touch now and save money on his Christmas present but yes, depends what he's bought you I suppose.

Boxing Day it is then.

Worra he's sighing at something with contempt that directly involves me, his GF. Would you like your boyfriend doing that?

Why wait? Well, I suppose a habit is hard to break and I have a child. He has been in her life for 7 years. It's not an easy decision but things like this make me think of it more and more these days. I don't know why I'm asking a bunch of strangers on the internet. Maybe because this board is full of strangers asking other strangers all sorts of personal questions to help cler their heads?

Ok fair enough I was taking the pee...sorry

What did he say when you asked him why he was sighing?

Did he admit it was because you are on benefits and he's pissed off about the rise?

aaah, yes good ole passive aggressive, see I get it. However, don't fall down the long tunnel of PA yerself by waiting to dump if that's what you need to do.

sighing, huffing, puffing, good reasons for being rid certainly.

Mr. 'Pru rolled his eyes when Michelle Roux Jr contradicted himself on MC earlier. I think I'll be giving him his marching orders on Whitsuntide.

I have my present already so I could make it tomorrow I suppose.

Did you just say 'what's Facebook?' - do you live in the dark ages? Surely everyone, particularly someone in the UK who obviously has access to the internet and is job hunting, knows what Facebook is?

yeah