To contemplate dumping my boyfriend on New Years Eve, or maybe day?

[lovelydogs]

We were both just sitting on the sofa, me finishing a job application that has taken all day, he was paying attention to the news.

I heard something along the lines of..."bonuses to public service jobs cut to no more than 1%" and then the voice of the newsreader turns slow and grave "Benefits claimants money rises 5%"

It was the start of the news so it was repeated a few times, EVERYTIME he sighed, made a vocal noise of discontent and shook his head at the benefit bit. 5%? This reflects the cost of living I think, inflation? 5% on £60 is £3, yes?

£3 a week more. I don't think I could get a pack of loo roll for that. Maybe some more carrots, fruit etc. I can't think of any one thing that I could get with this increase that would make a huge difference to my standard of living. A tube of toothpaste? Which is fine, as it is just meant to reflect the cost of living.

But the thing is he acted like it did. Why would my boyfriend, who can see how hard I am trying to get a job, act like this in front of me?

My blood is boiling, I feel a hatred that I haven't felt before (well maybe I have) so AIBU to dump him?

Are we not aloud to call TROLL now?

I think you'll find we never were allowed to call Troll. It's written quite clearly at the top of the page...
"We don't allow personal attacks or troll-hunting."

It sounds as though the sighing and huffing are one example of him treating you with disrespect, but that you feel that this is his general attitude towards him. If you don't like or respect him, and he doesn't respect you, get rid and have a lovely Christmas without him. You might have to give the present back, though.

It's so much nicer being single than being with a twat. I speak from experience.

Please don't tell me to untwist my knickers MrSpoc.

It's rude.

Btw OP, wondering whether you should dump your boyfriend, regardless of why, is usually a sign that it's the right thing to do

EleanorRathbone - it was meant to be love

I'm sorry, after a good sleep I can see how my thread title comes across as childish and dramatic. Of course I wouldn't do it on either of those dates, it was just a reaction to yet another occurence.

And yes, of course the bottom line is a lack of respect. I sometimes wonder if he even likes me. I used to respect him but don't think I do any more and I struggle to like him sometimes. (normally I do)

MrSpoc I am not making this up, what on earth would be the point of that exactly? Do people really do this? I don't know what a troll is so can't say I'm not one, I thought it was a strange looking creature who lived under bridges?

I'm not wanting to do Christmas with him for my own gain, financially or emotionally. I have a big family and would not be alone (chance would be a fine thing, what a blissfull idea Christmas myself and my DD..heavenly!!) Anyway he doesn't have family nor friends and would genuinely be alone, and I would worry about him. Good point about Christmas parties though, but he is not sociable and don't think he's been to one gathering since I've known him.

I see that lots of people think I'm odd. I don't really get that. Do you not take time to consider big decisions in your life? OK planning for a day just after Christmas is mean but thinking things through is a normal process I would've thought.

All these incidences seem superficial on their own but they build up and up, untill I get to the stage of not being able to take one more thing, and snapping. Which is what happened last night.

Another thing, as I am applying for endless jobs and not even getting an interview, is it not a little insensitive to say "Spare a thought for us interviewers, it's so tiring you know. Seriously, SO tiring. OMG it's SO boring and SO tiring" ?

Yes I thought it might be MrSpoc

lovelydogs this might be a good time to make real changes - either get this guy to counselling, or get rid. Either way, you can't carry on the way you are with him, can you, it's not making you happy, it's not good for you and it's not good for him and the person it is worse for, is your DD - she's learning what to expect from relationships from you appear to be teaching her, not to expect too much.

all i can get Op is that your boyfriend hummpfd through a news programme that is a hot topic.

I doubt it was a snide dig at you personally, correct me if i am wrong but, yes your on beneftis BUT you are also TRYING to get a job. So not a typicle benefits fraudster (who, like everyone else would dislike),.

As for setting up a split up date. It is odd, exspecialiiy to plan to do it on NYE is just nasty and vindictive. I understand people plan for big events in their lives, but that is normally birthdays, Weddings etc, Not when to split up. If he is not doing it for you now, then get rid of him ASAP.

That is why people thought / think your a troll casue it does not add up.

EleanorRathbone - you can have the whole tin of biscuits, im sure you will enjoy them more.

OP dont wait until NewYear , or xmas ...dump him now !

Hes a twat ! Lifes too short to waste some on a crap boyfriend !

Good luck with the job hunting , keep trying you will find something soon !