to get the woman to remove her shoes or is she BU by being rude?

[teddiegoestopeckham]

my BIL came over today with his new partner to meet me and DH (his brother). They came over for a few hours for a late lunch/tea.

Anyway i open the door for them (BIL already holding his coat :) ). anyway all the hellos, hugs, come in etc.
BIL automatically takes his shoes off and puts some of the slippers we have out for guests.
She looks very shocked by this and doesn't make a move to either take off her shoes or even ask if i would like her to take her shoes off (i am barefoot)

Anyway when I realise that she isn't taking her shoes off and asks her nicely and politely if she would mind taking her shoes off and if she would like we have slippers for guests (we have a pile like the ones BIL put on and they are very obvious)

BIL looks a bit awkward at his point and then she says' 'no, thank you' and walks though.

I was just stunned and so was BIL obviously.

But it would have been rude to say anything so i just let her carry on. And told DH when he came in about 15mins later not to say anything.

I'm japanese - and to me leaving your shoes on when entering someones house is a no no. I have managed over the years to be okay if someone just walks in to pick something up or drop something off. but if someone is coming in properly. They take their shoes off.

Even forgetting the culture I and this comes from - sure it is rude to reply like that when you are a guest into someones home?

or AIBU in asking people to remove their shoes upon entering??
I'm doubting both now...

Where do we stand on air fresheners? I'm guessing opinions forming along similar lines to the whole shoes issue

And what is wrong with people that they have carpets which are cleaner than my shoes? Do they have nothing better to do than hoover?

She wasn't forcing anyone to wear slippers! They were an option, she was barefoot. It was disrespectful and rude to her and her culture.

I'm sure she couldn't care less whether or not you'd had a manicure or painted your nails!! (Rolls eyes furiously)

No you anbu OP - she just didn't thik about it did she? Hope BIL enlightens her for future visits.

YANBU at all! Its the ops house so, yes when in Rome do as the Romans do, remove your shoes!

Not you, though, OP. Air fresheners aren't cultural

Air fresheners are nasty.

Romans wore sandals

..and here in Britain too teddie, until manners were thrown away with the rubbish!

You could spray their feet with air freshener once they've taken their shoes off, just to be sure that they know that they aren't welcome

Snala ? Air fresheners yay or nay?

jamie youre at it! :o

I'm scared of my shoes now.

I'd didn't know they were so dangerous

and nay.

Kerala - 'Shoes off is hopelessly lower middle, pardon, lounge, Hyacinth Bouquet type behaviour.'

But surely by the same token, objecting to taking your shoes off is hopelessly middle middle, trying desperately not to be lower middle, behaviour?

IIRC, when David Cameron went to Riven's house, he took his shoes off without demur and he is well posh innit.

Moin - I know. But I think we should not be tough on shoes, we should be tough on the causes of shoes (?), namely uncouth people gobbing in the street, and dogs being allowed to poo.

Jamie
Cobblers

...

the causes of shoes

Ah, but David Cameron wanted to get elected. He's also probably kissed ugly babies and promised to sort the economy

you're right Jamie

spitting, weeing and gobbing on the street is vile indeed, as is letting you dog crap everwhere

LOL Olderyetwilder.
You're right, I remember now, his government was going to be nice to women, wasn't it?

must go to bed. DH threatening to divorce me.

Well I am off to bed safe in the knowledge that-

a) She may have been reasonable.

b) She may have been unreasonable.

c) Dogs stick their noses in stuff.

d) A thread about taking shoes off never comes to a conclusion!

x

Love it!

I am always amused by British habit to wear outdoor shoes in the houses, especially in this weather (wet and dirty). I always offer to take my dirty shoes off in other people's homes.

YANBU

And the Norwegians take their shoes off. It is considered extremely impolite to wear ones shoes indoors. When visiting, or going for parties, we bring our indoor shoes (that of course complement the outfit) with us in special shoe bags!

"And the Norwegians take their shoes off. It is considered extremely impolite to wear ones shoes indoors. When visiting, or going for parties, we bring our indoor shoes (that of course complement the outfit) with us in special shoe bags! "

Same in Russia.