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AIBU?

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Original poster

.. to NEVER wash DD's hair...

432 replies

GoTheFkToSleep · 29/11/2011 18:47

She's 5. She hates it, I hate it and two days later its looks the same as before. I think I last washed it about 6 months ago. I do bath the child once a month whether she needs it or not every few days, and she goes swimming every now and then but I am not sure that counts as she won't get in the pool showers. There must be a mild disinfectant effect of the chlorine tho??

OP posts:
4madboys · 01/12/2011 13:00

its not far out, judith chalmers the tv presenter admitted on the graham norton show that she never wore knickers.

i went for years without wearing them when i was younger, just changed my jeans everyday, i had loads of pairs of jeans so not a problem.

and my children are all fine and not bullies thanks.

4madboys · 01/12/2011 13:00

that should be not bullieD

4madboys · 01/12/2011 13:02

exactly aitch. heaven forbid kids might be different.

but then my ds2 likes faires and pink and purple and has gone to school on non uniform day wearing a pink party dress, he was fine, no one was mean to him. he is almost 7 and loves dressing up and tinkerbell, he also likes cars and getting dirty and regular 'boy' things as well, he is who he is and is self confident enough to be who he wants to be :)

AitchTwoOh · 01/12/2011 13:02

i do think that parents should perhaps worry more about the apparent fact that 'children in the class' ie their children will pick on someone for not liking to have pants on, than the poor kid who can't stand elastic on her waist.

wearytraveller · 01/12/2011 13:02

Oh being different is fine, absolutely fine. However, being unkempt, or dirty, or smelly,or having dirt ingrained hands,or going without underwear is not the kind of "different" I choose for my children.

AgentZigzag · 01/12/2011 13:04

I don't accept any child being bullied Aitch, but I do expect it knowing what I do of some childrens nature.

Ignoring that is unrealistic.

4madboys · 01/12/2011 13:05

well my kids arent dirty or smelly or unkempt but they do sometimes go out without underwear! having no underwear does not mean dirty or smelly.

AitchTwoOh · 01/12/2011 13:05

uh-huh? this child is bathed regularly and her hair goes under a swimming pool. her mother says she doesn't smell and her hair looks fine (i would agree with her that dry shampoos are not at all cleansing)... so really the only unusual thing is that she doesn't wear pants or socks. i'd like to think i could teach my children to cope with a classmate who doesn't wear pants or socks and to refrain from bullying her.

spiderpig8 · 01/12/2011 13:06

YANBU.haven't read the whole thing, so apologies if alrready been said, but pretty soon hair adjusts to no washing and stays clean and fresh by its own oils.

AitchTwoOh · 01/12/2011 13:07

children's nature is by and large not to bathe, brush their teeth or even wear clean clothes, but judging by this thread we are prepared to battle that nature on a daily basis. i'd tackle the instinct to bully as well, were i to observe it (or even believe in it).

AgentZigzag · 01/12/2011 13:07

You're assuming the parent of the child who'd do the bullying would give a flying fuck what they're DC is saying to another DC Aitch.

An alarming amount don't.

wearytraveller · 01/12/2011 13:08

Judith Chalmers eh? Oh well it must be fine then.

4madboys · 01/12/2011 13:09

same here aitch i dont htink my boys would bat an eyelid at someone not wearing pants, they see me naked everyday and each other, no pants is really not a big deal.

op if you are looking for pants that she might wear my boys have some jersey cotton boxers, not hte baggy boxers, the fitted ones, but they dont seem to have annoying seems or elastic (ds2 is picky about things like that) have a look at some boys pants and see if she might like some of those, or not, she sounds fine to me :)

belgo · 01/12/2011 13:10

yes that's true aitch. Which is why I keep my children's hair short. I find long hair on girls un practical and a hassle to wash and brush.

I used to battle with them over their teeth, twice a day, I just cannot let that go. Fortunately now they are all very good at tooth brushing.

AitchTwoOh · 01/12/2011 13:10

clearly, judging by the behaviour of the parents on this very thread.

fwiw, i know my toddler has been to nursery without knickers on. sometimes she pulls on a pair of trousers/tights by herself and it's only when she comes home that we notice. it doesn't make her smell any more than if she'd been wearing pants.

valiumredhead · 01/12/2011 13:10

Nothing happens if you don't wear pants! What a modest lot on this thread Grin

AitchTwoOh · 01/12/2011 13:11

my last to agent zigzag.

4madboys · 01/12/2011 13:12

i dont actually care about judith chalmers i just rememberd the episode of the graham norton show. i am sure there are plenty of people that dont wear pants, i didnt for years nad i know of at least one close friend that doesnt, however i am not going to googel as godknows what that search would come up with! Grin

teeth cleaning, yes needs to be one, a bath once or twice a week, good wash with a flannel etc, and get their hair wet, but it doesnt need shampooing on a regular basis unless dirty/smelly.

dd will be one next week, her hair has never been shampooed its fine, not dirty or smelly in the least.

my eldest son started showering and washing his hair daily once he was old enough that he needed to but at 5yrs old a bath a couple of times a week and getting the hair wet and brushing it should be fine. thats not dirty or unkempt or neglectful.

ElaineReese · 01/12/2011 13:13

is it usual for 12 year old boys to see their mother naked a lot?

wearytraveller · 01/12/2011 13:13

Can I just clarify, I dont think going without pants makes you smelly. I think that going without washing makes you smelly. Two separate issues.

MidsomerM · 01/12/2011 13:14

4madboys - everyone sheds skin. If that skins isn't rinsed off, it rots and smells. So people need to be immersed in water or very thoroughly wiped (which isn't as effective) to remove the dead skin. This is the case at all ages. I don't believe that a baby, even a pretty one in lovely clothes, doesn't have smelly areas if they go months between total-body washes.

Anyway, why don't you want your baby to go in a bath? Most babies love splashing around in water.

inmysparetime · 01/12/2011 13:17

OP, my DD is 7 and I only wash her hair every month or so, usually when she gets glitter in it. I find it looks awful and fluffy after it's washed but gets nice and silky after about a week. She has fine blond hair.
My DD actually quite likes having her hair washed, but finds it hard to brush for the day or two afterwards.

AitchTwoOh · 01/12/2011 13:18

what a THOROUGHLY odd question, ElaineRees. Grin is it unusual? shameful? what are you angling at?

4madboys · 01/12/2011 13:19

she has had a bath when she has needed one, the rest of the time i wash her with a wet flannel, thats fine, and she is perfectly clean and not smelly thanks.

and she didnt like the bath when tiny, she did the last time she had one, was happy to sit and play in it etc, and when she needs it or if she is around when ds4 is having a bath i will probably stick her in with him, but i am not giving her one every day just for the sake of it.

and yes my 12yr old sees me naked, i sleep naked and get up to go and shower and AM naked, so if he passes me on the landing he will see me! i have to let my moisturiser sink in after i put it on and so stay naked/or with a towel around me for 20mins or so and he may see me then, he SAW ME GIVE BIRTH TO HIS BABY SISTER!! he was 11 then and was fine, he cut the cord after her birth :)

there is nothing inherently wrong with nudity, he now keeps himself covered most of the time but will still wander about when getting ready for bed naked, i see him, he sees me, whats wrong with that?

EmmaRoyd · 01/12/2011 13:19

I've found this whole thread like a trip to the playground. People might as well point at the OP and shouting EEUUW OP's got fleas!!!!

'no underwear she must have worms' Hmm

Sadly it's these opinions that rub off on children and result in the bullying that the OP is being blamed for provoking!