I have name-changed for this as I think it might make me fairly identifiable.
My family and I lived in the UK until earlier this year when we moved to my country. I had lived there (the UK) for 13 years, DH is from there and DS and DD were born there. They're now 2 and 1 respectively.
I had always wanted to return home at some point and the catalyst came when my Dad, who's a widower, was very ill with bowel cancer in 2009. It was in the immediate aftermath of this that DH and I made the decision to 'emigrate'.
Fast forward 2 years and after selling our beloved family home and then renting for a couple of months, followed by a month staying with his parents, we were off to start life on the other side of the world.
We left behind our lovely, cosy family home which we were probably going to grow out of in a few years, but which was perfect for us with two little ones. We left behind two well-paying jobs. Specifically, I left behind a job I loved with a boss I adored, working from home, fantastic salary, which enabled me to be part of my children's day, giving them meals, putting them down for naps, suppling cuddles when needed, etc, etc.
We left behind an au pair sent from heaven who was a joy to live and work with. Who adored our children, made our lives so much easier and who our children loved in return. We didn't have grandparents in the country, but as she lived in, was able to provide baby-sitting whenever we needed it.
And we did need it. We left behind a great social life, enabled by said lovely au pair. I had made a good group of friends in my years there, and my DH had a huge, extended circle of friends, most of which have been around since school days. When we got together they all welcomed me into the fold and it felt like I'd known them all for years. He was the lynch-pin of the group, the one who went out of his way to stay in touch with everyone, to have everyone over regularly, and organised group nights out and get togethers. Our house was host to many late night, all-back-to-ours parties over the years. Life was great. We were not emigrating because we were in any way dissatisfied with our life there.
We have been here now nearly 7 months and I am miserable.
I am a SAHM Mum. DH was able to transfer his job, but not to the city we had planned to move to, which is where I know people and have good, old friends. Instead, we're in a city where we know hardly anyone. We have no support close by - my Dad is a 6-hour drive away.
I am struggling with the SAHM thing. I am just not cut out for it. I adore my children, but I find looking after them, at this age, hard. Squabbling, bickering, whinging and whining seems to be, feels like, the backdrop to my day. We go out every day, usually twice. We have activities and groups that we go to - they have plenty of stimulation, but not too much. They have plenty of opportunities to burn off energy, but also to be at home and potter around and relax, I am doing my best but it feels monotonous, mundane, routine, relentless. And in my time 'off', I get to clean the house!! Yay, the utter joys of being a mother and housewife......... DH pulls his weight, by the way, no issues there.
We have no social life any more. And even if we did, we don't have a baby-sitter or any family/friend support close by anyway.
DH's salary is several times the national average (he took his good London salary with him) but it is so expensive here. So much more so than I remember, and seemingly way more than it ever was in London. We're getting into debt just to live. Everything is expensive. DH took the car to get cleaned at the weekend - what would have been £8 in London, was 50 bloody dollars here. Plus he had to wait longer, and it took longer. This is symptomatic of everything.
There's also so much less choice here, which of course bumps the prices up. If you want something in the UK, you go online, do a search and you'll be able to find it, order it and have it on your doorstep in a day's time. And you don't have to mortgage your house to be able to pay for it.
Sorry - this is so long-winded if you've made it this far, well done. Each weekend we give each other half a day off, to go out and get away from it all, rest, relax, do something of our own choosing without two toddlers cramping our style. And this is the sad thing - the only highlight of our week is going off by ourselves. This isn't nice. It's not good for us, and it's not how our life was. We both of us, me especially as the SAHM need that break for our sanity, though. Plus we miss our friends. We're lonely. And going off to do our own thing only exacerbates this.
We paid thousands of pounds to move here and to ship all our belongings, furniture, car, and we're now getting into debt just to live. It feels like a disastrous mistake, but moving back would devastate my Dad. Everyone says it takes a good two years to settle in to a new city, but I still don't see how our life will be like it was in London.
I will look for a job next year, I will have to if we're not to get further and further into debt, but it depresses me to know that I won't be able to work from home as I did previously with the kids in their own home and environment every day, and I can't handle the thought of full-time nursery for my two when they're still so young.
I feel like we've made a terrible mistake and it's all my fault. DH has been amazing, but I know he misses his friends and family and our life. It feels like a drudge here, with nothing to look forward to, and no friends. And we're broke. It's crap. :(