Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10

Original poster

After School Cub worker drove DD home and left her there!

245 replies

Crabapple99 · 25/11/2011 17:21

I have an arrangement with one afterschool club worker that she takes my 10 year old daughter home for me once a week. Yesterday she was called away on a family emergency. Howerever, I wsn't contacted and told. If I had been, I would have left work early and collected DD myself. A different member of staff, one who I don't like much, and certainly wouldn't ever invite into my home, closed up the after school club 20 minutes early (DD was the only child left) forced DD to get into the car, drove her home, came in and looked around, then left her there alone. DD was very upset, as she hadn't wanted to get into the car. She has been told never to get into a car with anyone, even someone we know, unless she has permission from myself, her school teacher or one or two specific family friends. She did not have permission to get into this persons car, and I would not have agreed to this person driving my child anywhere, or to coming into my home. I tried to complain, but the after school club do not seem to think anything untoward has happened, and say the staff member was doing me a favour!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 25/11/2011 17:31

She was doing you a favour

If you're annoyed with anyone (and I'm not sure why you would be) it should be with the person who normally takes her home.

OldGreyWassailTest · 25/11/2011 17:33

What else did you want to happen if the person was locking up? Someone had to get her home, and she took her as a favour.

"She did not have permission to get in this persons car......" How was she supposed to get that? Do you honestly think a 10 year old is able to argue logically with an adult at her school?

The only bit I disagree with was her being left at home on her home without prior arrangement.

merielandmatt · 25/11/2011 17:33

YANBU. I can see how they might feel they have helped you out but it's completely unacceptable for them to have failed to contact you, asked her to be driven by someone she feels uncomfortable with and then left her unsupervised at your house (regardless of whether she is regularly on her own there). I suppose the problem is that if they don't see the issue, you can't be sure it won't happen again. I would want a very good reason for them to have closed early and an assurance that she'll only be driven home by specified people in the future. If they want to take that up with you then that's fine but they shouldn't have put your daughter in that position without speaking to you first.

Is it a school thing or something you pay for (not that it makes any difference but I think it's even worse if it's a private venture)?

scurryfunge · 25/11/2011 17:35

I assume she is subject to the same checks as any other member of staff, so you can't really complain about her suitability. How long was she left alone and does the usual worker ever leave her alone?

thisisyesterday · 25/11/2011 17:36

yanbu

they should have contacted you and asked how she was going to get home, either offering this other member of staff to take her, or giving you time to get there yourself.

they weren't doing you a favour, they were pleasing themselves.

OddBoots · 25/11/2011 17:38

It's quite possible this worker had something important to do after work so closed up early because they couldn't get in contact with you so she felt she needed to get your daughter to you.

The important question is why weren't you contacted?

SoupDragon · 25/11/2011 17:49

YABU because they did not try to contact you, shut early and left your DD unattended at home. That is unacceptable.

SoupDragon · 25/11/2011 17:49

I ment YANBU. :o

squeakytoy · 25/11/2011 17:51

If this was a 5 year old, you would have a point. This is a 10 year old who should be more than capable of having a key and letting herself into a house and coping for a short amount of time until you get home from work.

Your daughter knew it was a member of staff, not a stranger.

GypsyMoth · 25/11/2011 17:52

Is your dd usually dropped off and left alone?

Pebbleonabeach1 · 25/11/2011 17:58

I would be beyond livid if that happened to my DD. The afterschool club should have contacted you and had no right to insist your daughter got in the car and then to leave her alone at home is disgusting especially if she was upset. Whether or not she is capable at 10 to be left at home by herself is besides the point if they did not have your permission. There must be someone you can report this to - council perhaps?

squeakytoy · 25/11/2011 18:10

But if this happens every week, then the child would have been on her own at home for about 20 minutes longer than she usually is..

Are you at home when she gets there every other week OP? If not, supposing you got held up in traffic... what would happen then?

OP says she doesnt like the member of staff, so I think that is clouding things here. If it had been the usual person dropping her off 20 minutes early, would that have been ok?

thisisyesterday · 25/11/2011 18:11

i think the issue is that actually the OP has a private arrangement with this other member of staff, to take her daughter home.
so it wasn't up to the after-school club to decide whether or not it was ok to take her home, and it certainly wasn't up to them to choose to leave her by herself at home

she is only 10!

KittyFane · 25/11/2011 18:21

Why weren't you contacted by the woman your DD gets a lift with and told that your daughter's usual arrangement couldn't happen. Did she try to contact you?
You seem to have it in for the woman who brought your DD home but she didn't have to and may have thought she was doing you a favour.
Your argument should be with the woman your DD gets a lift from. It is not up to the after school club to arrange another personal favour on your behalf (I take it the after school club don't do transport to and from home usually).
I would be mad if DD was left high and dry but you are mad at the wrong person.

TheFallenMadonna · 25/11/2011 18:25

I don't think I'd be livid, but it would be a massive contravention of our club's policies.

thisisyesterday · 25/11/2011 18:28

but the afterschool club should have contacted her to find out where she was/who was collecting her dd rather than just take her home without saying anything.

how did they know that the OP hadn't arrange with the other person that she would do the pick-up herself? she wouldn't have known they were closing 20 minutes early.

it wasn't up to them to make that decision. they should have called the OP and said "x isn't here. what's happening?"

Whatmeworry · 25/11/2011 18:30

And they wonder why people don't want to be neighbourly and do favours anymore.....

ENormaSnob · 25/11/2011 18:31

Yanbu

unacceptable that you were not informed.

thisisyesterday · 25/11/2011 18:33

lol enorma i have only just realised what your name says.

ENormaSnob · 25/11/2011 18:33

I very much doubt it done as a favour to you, more that they wanted to finish 20 minutes early.

ENormaSnob · 25/11/2011 18:34

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 25/11/2011 18:47

What do you mean "forced"?? Did she physicall make her? even if she didnt physically make her she was way out of order...

EricNorthmansMistress · 25/11/2011 18:48

Hang on, why was there only one member of staff with her at the end? When I worked at an after school club both of us had to wait til the last child had gone.

clam · 25/11/2011 18:50

Is it not possible that she "had a look round" to ensure that all was well in the house before leaving your DD there alone? As in, no mad axe-murderers lurking behind doors.

If you are prepared for one nursery worker to drop your child home, then it's not such a massive leap for another (CRB checked) worker to do the same. The fact that you happen to dislike her is beside the point, I think.

SnapesMistress · 25/11/2011 19:39

YANBU, it was not a favour, she just wanted to piss of early.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 9 10