to ask if this would make you feel a bit miffed.....

[grumpydwarf]

Would you be a bit miffed if someone else in your extended family (am very reluctant to use the term MIL in case I get flamed as being anti-MIL) phoned up and told said to your DH that they were buying you presents from your 6mo DS and a card for Xmas?

Dont get me wrong may have some PFB about the whole thing but to me its part of the fun of being a parent that mum's but dad's cards and presents and visa versa! Luckily DH kindly put her straight that he would be buying the presents and cards for me for occasions like that as was not her job, but she swears blind that her mum did it for her from my DH when he was little. He does't remember this and I have never heard of it as my dad bought all presents for me and Sis until we were old enough to buy ourselves.

What do you MN's think?

Good grief! Miffed? I'd be delighted at the extra present!

Luckily DH kindly put her straight that he would be buying the presents and cards for me for occasions like that Oh I bet that made her feel good!

So your ILs are buying presents for you and your DH but addressing them as from your DS?

No I wouldn't be miffed so YABaweebitU, at least someone is thinking of it and wants to recognise the job you're doing as a mum. Sounds like you DH has put her straight anyway, maybe he could take her on the shopping trip to help as she obviously would like to be involved?

No I'd be happy to get a present and would thank her.

I think you're a bit anal OP

Why would you be put out at an extra present.

Dh 'put her straight' --- You both sound

It sounds sweet

Your MIL wants to buy you an extra gift 'from your DS'.

Can't your DH ALSO get you a gift 'from your DS'?

Then your DS will have given you two gifts.

What's the problem?

Luckily DH kindly put her straight - If I was her, I'd be a bit hurt.

I think some people should remember that one day they might be MILs trying to do A Nice Thing.

You both sound like a barrel of laughs that should say

Seriously - WHAT IS THE HARM?

What could your MIL possibly be taking away from you by doing this?

I'd think it was weird. That's normally the other parent's job. if she wants to buy you a gift, great, but from her. I'd assume it was her being over keen.

hmmmm - I see your point here. It's your first Christmas and I'm guessing you're looking forward to buying a gift for Daddy from DS and your DP for you.

I think the issue here is being 'told' which has wound you up.

I don't like being told either!

It is a bit weird but if it's a family tradition I wouldn't stop her

She obviously gets pleasure from it.

You sound a right nightmare of a dil.

And your oh a right charmer.

Am I the only on that thinks its weird to give an adult a gift and make out its from a baby ? I can envisage it as a 'cute' little isolated gesture between parents perhaps - oh look what little baby Johnny bought Mummy - but in the wider context of having a conversation about who is responsible for baby's Xmas shopping, this all just seems... weird

Fully prepared to be a lone voice in this.

'put her straight' Nice.

You are not a lone voice vivi we have never done it but I would never take pleasure away from my MIL if she wanted to.

I think it's lovely that she wants to do this.
You're making a lot of fuss over something very minor.

My mum has always bought presents for me from my daughter. What's wrong with that? It's hardly a poke in the eye.

Agree with ViviPru - it's fine to do it between the childs parents but find it a bit odd from the wider family.

If it was a tradition in her family then she will think it normal - but now she knows how you and DP feel I don't think it's an issue anymore.

I think the issue here is being 'told' which has wound you up.

Yeah, but we don't know what the actual conversation was, - not even the OP does, since it was her DH who took the call.

The implication is that some Trunchbull-style MIL boomed 'I will buy all gifts from your DS for ever and ever, because I want to take over your parenting. HaHaHa'. Tha may not be the case.

The issue here is that the OP is saying 'I feel that my MIL is being controlling by offering to buy me a present and write 'to mummy, love DS' on it. BUT I WANT MY HUSBAND TO DO THAT AND NOW IT'S SPOILED'.

Depends.

If she has been very much on the "I wish to mucsle in and usurp" side of things I can understand leaping to defend more minor boundires on the basis that the past has taught that failure to do so opens the floodgates.

If she hasn't been all muscle in and usurp minded...it is so something of an over reaction.

On the surface my swift and uncompromising closing down of overtures to dictate part of the xmas menu and the offer of MIL's carer to do some of the cooking .....looks mad.

However within days it will escalate beyond control and I will find myself an unwelcome guest in my own home (again) if I don't slam the boundries tight shut from the get go. So less mad than than it soinds due to the details of the context.

How have things been MIL/DIL power struggle wise since the grandchild came along ?

Well, yes, quite, Valium. I mean, I certainly don't think the MiL's gesture warranted a 'miffed response' but chez 'Pru it certainly would have generated a bit of "Riiiiiiiiighto, Granny, if that would make you happy! By all means! Weird "