AIBU to disown DD and not attend wedding

[Downnotout]

Long thread on teenagers but....
She is 18 . Has known him less than 4 months. Wedding is set for 19th Dec.
She said she was pregnant, then she wasn't.
AIBU to say she is a bloody fool and want nothing to do with it?

She will throw non attendance in your face and it won't make any difference. Go and let her learn from her own mistakes. That's if you get an invite!

Oh you should go.. but yes, she is being an idiot.

I dont think you are BU but then if it all goes tits up, you will be there to pick the pieces up, that's what mums do. We all get lost along the way sometimes and make shit decisions. Would your daughter take that as she can not come to you should she need to?

It sounds as though she's lost. I wouldn't disown her, she's still practically a child. If she was 30 then this would be very different but she's 18 and doesn't have the life experience that she needs to stand on her feet yet. She's probably making a mistake but she'll learn through it. What were you like at her age?

Viva! No invite. Am not expecting one. Need some lighthearted relief!

It's your dd's wedding. You should be there. Do you know her bf well?

Its her life, let her live it. Go to her wedding or you will regret it. Be angry by all means, but privately. Do not lose your DD over this - some things are impossible to forgive, and this is one of them. Be supportive (if wary) and be there for her. If it all goes tits up later, then at least she will feel she can come to you.

You need to be there for her through her mistakes and her triumphs. if it all goes wrong and you weren't there she will be unable to turn to you. She is only 18 and probably thinks she is deeply in love (and maybe she is).

And disowning a child and not attending their wedding are 2 different things, the former being unforgiveable.

Be there for her now. If (when) it all comes crashing down, she'll need you. If she doesn't feel she can turn to you then the consequences might be awful.

Say "I might not like what you do, but I'll always love you and be there for you."

Yes she's being daft... BUT I think you'd regret not going. What if he does turn out to be The One? I think you should go.

If you get an invite, of course.

Sorry, just noticed even she doesn't know him well!

FWIW, DH and I got engaged after knowing each other 6 months and I was 17 when we first started going out. I'm now 28 and we're happier now than we've ever been...

If you don't go and it does turn out to be the real thing (which it could be - my parents met, fell in love and were married within a year, still together over 50 years on) how will you feel in 5,10, 15 years time?

please go. My Dads mum didn't attend their wedding (in 1950's) because she didn't approve of my mum. THey are still together today nearly 60yrs later!

THough they were sort of reconciled I don't for a minute think it was all forgotten,

How old is her fiance?

apologise for whatever you've said and go to her wedding - yes it will end in tears, but thats when she'll need her mum.

You should go, and buy a very useful householdy present.

As I said on the other thread, an impulsive young wedding is a much smaller deal than an impulsive pregnancy. If it doesn't work out, she can move on. If it does, then it might be the thing that makes her grow up and take responsibility for herself.

Majority of my friends are still with their teenage loves. It can work. I was 19 when I met DH. She only wants you to support her and if you don't allow her to make her own choices as an adult, you're writing your own destiny as far as your relationship goes. It's her life. She has a right to live it.

You can go to her next one.

Did you post on about the pregnancy? Wouldn't be able to finish college (v specifically would be asked to leave)? If so think the background may be helpful in getting support.

It depends if you want to be part of DD's life in future. If so, try to respect her decisions. Your anger won't change her mind anyway, unfortunately, even if you feel you know what's best.

The marriage may succeed or end badly. Either way, don't you want to be there for her?

Ahem, I got married at 19. Parents the same, almost eloped, but hung on in there. I'm 31 now with 2DS. We've been together 14 years this Xmas.

Just grit your teeth and go. I made soooo many daft decisions at that age (staying with a shit man being one of them) but my parents always stood by me and I will always be grateful for that and for all you know her dp could be wonderful.
You know what the outcome may be but at least it won't be a huge shock.

My parents met at 21 (Mum on a world tour, Dad bit of a lad) and were married 6 weeks later. Still together 47 years on.

Don't get why you would you not be there for your daughter. She is old enough to make her own mistakes. Not your job to judge now she is adult but to love and support her. You brought her up now it's up to her.