to want to leave my husband over a tumble drier

[fluffytowels]

OK, bit extreme but I'm in a fury nonetheless.

I do all of the laundry in our house (DH works full time, I work part time). Am happy with this arrangement.

However, am completely unable to get thing dry at this time of year. In every other house we have had a washer drier but our new house only has a washing machine. I wanted a tumble drier.

DH said no. He said we had nowhere to put it and we didn't need one (well he would say that as he doesn't notice how clothes get washed dried and back in the drawer). He wouldn't have it in the garage as that's 'his space' and would also be a pain in the arse (Which I agree).

However we do have a small corridor between our bedroom and ensuite (labelled as 'dressing area' on house details) which currently has stand up airer, clothes rail with his clothes on (our wardrobe is small) and the ironing. He didn't want one there.

I got so frustrated that I just went out and bought one. I paid for it out of my wages. It was delivered this week and I put in the space. It is in the corner so cannot be seen from any point in the bedroom (although have taken airer down so place looks much tidier). I had to point it out to him this morning as he had walked passed it at least 6 times in the past 24 hours without even noticing it had arrived.

He was furious. Said he had 'expressly forbid it' said it looked ridiculous etc etc. Then said that he was glad I'd set the precedent for purchases without the others consent as he would now go out and buy himself a sports car .

I know people will say that I shouldn't have bought it if it wasn't a joint decision but his reasons for not having one were ridiculous and the disadvantages of not having one have no impact on me, just him.

He stormed off without saying goodbye.

I am furious that
a) he thinks that a tumble drier is a luxury 'treat' for me.
b) he thinks he can issue dictates on chores that he doesn't do
c) he has no actual argument as he didn't even notice it was there.

and breathe.

YANBU My tumble dryer is broke and I can't afford to replace it atm I hate having clothes all over the place.

You paid for the drier out of your own wages so I presume you'll be fine with the sports car purchase. Out of his own wages. YANBU!

Turn the tumble drier into a time machine and send him back to 1854.

Good on you love! I love the fact that you had to point it out to him. He'll get used to it in time, and will probably enjoy not having clothes and linen draped around the house.

My dh had a hissy fit over a freezer of all things. This thread reminded me. I decided to get a chest freezer as we are a family of 6 and needed one. He thought that it would look ugly in the kitchen and that there was no room (we have very tiny kitchen). I bought one anyway and he had a complete strop (in front of my parents and everything). It was so embarrassing. Major row followed.

I take the view that as I do pretty much all of the shopping and cooking, I should have whatever I need to make that as easy (and cheap) as possible.

The freezer is still here. DH does not object to eating the food which comes out of it.

OP, I really don't like that your H thought it was okay to use the words 'expressly forbid', even for a second. I think he is taking you for granted and taking the piss. If he had anything about him, he would apologise profusely for saying such a twatish thing. The sulking is not showing him in a good light at all.

I'm being serious when I say that you should think about doing less for him in future. My dh thanks me when I iron him a shirt or do something for him, because taking care of his personal stuff is not my responsibility, so if I do it, it should be appreciated.

I'm a great believer in not doing so much for a person, that they start to take you for granted. Sounds like that's what is happening here.

What a knob cheese. I'd have gone out and bought one just out of spite. Who the hell does he think he is??? If he was my DH he'd be doing his own laundry from now on, that's for sure.

"Expressly forbid it" my arse.

We have just had a similar situation, but in reverse.

Dh is house husband, sahdaddy to our toddler laundry fairy, washing up fairy etc. I work ft and make washingup

He took delivery of a dishwasher yesterday. Paid for out of our joint finances.

Whilst I'm not exactly cock a whoop at such a big expense right now, and question the space and aesthetics in our small kitchen. I take the attitudes that its his department, and not my place to gripe too much. And I'm loving clean plates at last, dh is a little slapdash at washing up to say the least.

Don't reevaluate your marriage on the basis of him being a cock about something, but do stand up for yourself. If he gets short shrift he'll be less likely to be a cock next time. I think if you need to laugh at him when he says stupid shit like 'I expressly forbid'. They all say stupid things from time to time.

"hang them on the line outside and when he has run out of socks ,pants and shirts ,simply point outside and say 'they may be dry in april" Oooh a crossover with the "My neighbour leaves laundry out for weeks and weeks" thread. Maybe the neighbour in question had a dh who said he expressly forbid a tumbler.

Well it seems peace has been restored.

I ignored attempts at sulking and he couldn't keep it up for more than half an hour. All fine until 20 mins ago when he made a flippant remark about him 'not existing and his opinion counting for nothing'

I told him he would get at least 48 hours notice before putting a chest freezer in the garage

Haha. He'll suck it up. He'll have to. Enjoy that tumble dryer. I went years and years without one - drying everything on radiators etc etc. Bloody depressing.

He is hillarious!!

Thinking a sportscar for himself is the equivilent, haha wow

Miette you have solved the mn mystery!!!