to think there is no excuse for wearing red shoes at a funeral...

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

it wasnt a "theme" (ie "when I'm dead I want everyone to wear bright colours to my funeral), she wasnt immediate family but was there for the whole thing.

even if you are going from or to work, a reason why you might not be wearing "appropriate" clothing, that still isnt a reason for wearing red stilettos!! if she was really that bothered about her shoes matching her outfit, she could have worn, umm well BLACK, as she had a black dress on with red flowers!

I think its massively disrespectful and was speechlessly open mouthed like a goldfish when I saw. Obviously I'm being very judgy, I know that, but AIBU?

Yes, YABU, this isn't 1897, red shoes are no longer a mark of disrespect.

You nutter.

Wouldn't bother me, there's no 'black shoe' rule - just a black outfit 'custom'.

Perhaps she wanted to look nice, as a mark of respect to the person she'd lost.

I went to a funeral in red tights recently.

Do you think the person you and she were mourning would have been offended?

YABU (and bonkers)

A little U, she may have had a private agreement with the deceased, I have to wear a large hat if my BF dies before me, that kind of thing?

YABU!

YABU. She cared enough to be there, isnt that enough?

At my fathers funeral I couldnt have given a flying fuck what people were wearing it was enough that they had taken the trouble to attend.

The fact that you noticed her feet and are prepared to post on here about it says more about you, IMHO.

Perhaps the person being mourned liked those shoes, so they were a sign of respect, not for your benefit, but for the person whose funeral it was.

I wore purple shoes to my grandfather's funeral- bought them especially. I can't really see the problem with bright footwear if the rest of the outfit is tasteful.

YABU. Absolutely no reason to find that disrespectful.

Depends.

If the deceased was a person who would have felt it important to dress traditionally, then she was being disrespectful. If they weren't, then she wasn't.

I wore black, including a black hat, to my grandad's funeral. My children wore black 3-piece suits. Because I knew that in life my grandad felt that it was important to dress up and appropriately (traditionally), so to do otherwise would have been disrespectful to him.

otoh, I've been to a funeral and worn yellow, because the deceased thought black was depressing.

My view is that it is neither disrespectful or perfectly ok in itself, but only in relation to who it is you are burying.

I dunno was her outfit mostly black though? I went to a funeral a couple of years ago where one guy was wearing a filthy string vest (it had yellow patches round the armpits. vile) and equally dirty jogging bottoms

Now I'm sure the young guy who died (a friend of mine) wouldn't have given a shit but imo it was a bit disrespectful to his family especially his poor mum. Mind you, a couple of girls were dressed like they were ready for a night on the town- hot pants, fishnet tights, bustiers and Amy Winehouse hairstyles. I wasn't the only mourner going

I wore jeans to the last funeral I went to

yabu

I wore red glittery shoes to my best friend's funeral. YABU

YABU, and strangley odd

I've only ever been to 1 funeral but I don't think YABU. Unless she had no other shoes I think it's really disrespectful.

I'll consider myself told! I've just honestly never seen anyone wear coloured shoes to a funeral in my life!

I see your point, OP.

I don't think it makes you odd to think what you thought

I don't understand why you are so aggrieved. Were you really judging other people's dress at a funeral, ffs?

Ignore what I said. Agree with other people.

Still think revolting string vest and joggers to a funeral is foul though.