to think there is no excuse for wearing red shoes at a funeral...

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

it wasnt a "theme" (ie "when I'm dead I want everyone to wear bright colours to my funeral), she wasnt immediate family but was there for the whole thing.

even if you are going from or to work, a reason why you might not be wearing "appropriate" clothing, that still isnt a reason for wearing red stilettos!! if she was really that bothered about her shoes matching her outfit, she could have worn, umm well BLACK, as she had a black dress on with red flowers!

I think its massively disrespectful and was speechlessly open mouthed like a goldfish when I saw. Obviously I'm being very judgy, I know that, but AIBU?

It doesn't really matter if other people have dressed as gogo dancers or whatever at funerals with the deceased's blessing, this was a conventional funeral and as such red shoes are not appropriate.

I am actually needing red glittery shoes now.

By the way, he was a man in his eighties and everyone else was in black. As I said, I'd understand if it was a "theme", my nan did insist she wanted bright colours at hers but noone could bring themselves to do it at the time...

So it was an old man

Ya still bu

Why did I notice? Probably mainly because I own perfectly good red shoes, purple shoes, silver shoes, even white frigging boots, but went out and bought black shoes specially.

Nobody dresses all in black at funerals anymore do they?

well not the ones I've been too

You really can't judge what people wear to a funeral. Especially since it is no longer necessary to turn up, veiled and swathed in yards of black crepe.

My best friend died earlier this year. At her funeral I dressed in what could come across as costume (it was steampunkish) because she loved that outfit and always said she wanted me to wear it to her funeral. Sadly, she hadn't realised this would be so very soon after our conversation.

For all you know, the deceased had had a similar conversation with the wearer of the red shoes.

YANBU.

perhaps the person couldn't afford to buy black shoes.

what is most important is they managed to say there good byes.

ahem. Usual suspect. Look up. (or down, depending on how you view threads )

My nanna died earlier this year. Even if I had a gun to my head I couldn't tell you what people were wearing.

What kind of horror goes to a funeral and assesses peoples' choice of outfit??

Red stillettoes is drawing attention to her instead of the deceased and bereaved. Totally wrong.

We have traditional dress code for a very good reason.

Was that all she was wearing?

I dress all in black to funerals. I wouldn't if the deceased specifically didn't want mourners to, but I have never been to such a funeral. And I've been to quite a few.

I don't think I've ever considered anybody elses shoes at a funeral what a weird thing to do unless they were actually clown shoes and you tripped over them does it really matter.

Did she work for Virgin Atlantic ?

Yanbu at all in my eyes

I agree with you that it is disrespectful

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability

You haven't said what your connection with the deceased was if you have, I've missed it. If you were not immediate family, it's nothing to do with you what other people wore. Did you know what Miss Red Shoes' connection was?

nulgirl - a couple of generations ago, purple was a colour of mourning, worn by people who weren't close enough to the deceased to wear black.

I wear black to funerals out of respect but I think as long as your outfit is sober, it's ok.

Unless there has been a particular request or promise, like this

I wore brown boots to a funeral y'day. Was i wrong too? NOthing else in my outfit was brown.

My NPD mother was shocked and offended that I wore a bright dress to my lovely Gran's funeral. However DG had specifically asked me to wear that exact dress as she loved it on me and wanted bright colours at her funeral.

She also made me promise to get the rest of the family to wear bright things too - everyone complied with her wishes except my parents who made a big show of how they were more upset than anyone else as they were wearing black.

Me and my brother wore football shirts to our Grandads funeral this year. Everyone loved it as it was so him.

I wear more sombre colours for weddings - i.e dark colours, and I probably wouldn't wear red shoes myself but if she was smart and bar the shoes didn't draw attention to herself then I guess I might have been able to forgive but don't know all the circumstances.

'No excuse'? Op - would you agree that a few 'excuses' have been suggested here?