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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ignore my DH's wish for a freezer list?

138 replies

wisebird · 21/11/2011 07:57

My DH, unusually, had an hour or two off from his 24/7 job yesterday and spent it alphabetising the spice cupboard and listing all the items in our freezer - by shelf, quantity and number. He wants me to add/subtract to the freezer list every time I put something in or take something out. I am already in trouble this morning for taking out 3 bread rolls and 2 chicken breasts without updating the list. He claims the freezer list will make life easier for me. Now, I have a pretty good idea what is in the freezer as I do all the shopping and cooking (I am a SAHM), and tbh don't want to mess around with a list when I can remember what is in the freezer or, worst case scenario, open the door and look. I told DH this and he then said it would make it easier for him when he wants to cook if he can see at a glance what we have. As background info, due to his extreme job, he cooks a meal (well, a course) maximum about once every 2 or 3 months.

So AIBU to not want to have an extra chore that does not help me in order that 4 or 5 times a year DH is saved the trouble of OPENING the door of the freezer and fridge and looking inside it?

I am worried about mission creep and lists being applied to the fridge and the veg trays next Shock. So AIBU or should I humour him for a week or two on the basis that he pays for everything?

OP posts:
Original poster
wisebird · 21/11/2011 07:58

Oh, I was in double trouble this morning because I was not sure if I had taken the chicken out from the second shelf or from the third shelf... and/or whether I had actually taken the rolls out yesterday before he listed the contents.

OP posts:
CailinDana · 21/11/2011 07:58

Your DH is a loony. Fact. Is he normally such a weirdo?

vicki2010 · 21/11/2011 08:00

I would strongly suggest he need's to get out more.....

NinkyNonker · 21/11/2011 08:02

Yanbu. Doesn't matter if "he pays for everything".

BlueRedGreen · 21/11/2011 08:03

Yes, he needs to work less and find a hobby.

Andrewofgg · 21/11/2011 08:05

No, I'm a lister myself but not so bloody obsessional as that. I prefer to shop from a list but this is insane.

Good idea though to have a list where you write down anything that is running low so that the next to go shopping (probably me in in the Andrewofgg household) has a note ready to hand of what is needed for the freezer.

There is a use for his list but Tesco sell paper for the same purpose and it is soft and absorbent and comes in a variety of pastel colours.

AFuckingKnackeredWoman · 21/11/2011 08:05

He is proper bonkers!

mumofthreekids · 21/11/2011 08:09

Shhh, don't give my DH ideas!

MenopausalHaze · 21/11/2011 08:09

Make the list then roll it into a neat cone, grease it liberally with own brand margarine and stick it right up his arse. See if that concentrates his mind a little and tones down the madness!

Andrewofgg · 21/11/2011 08:13

Mercy MenopausalHaze use a decent quality margarine.

Or even butter. Remember Last Tango in Paris . . .

FannyFifer · 21/11/2011 08:14

WTF, I would shove the bread rolls where the sun doesn't shine.
That really isn't normal behaviour, has he always been like that?

shemademedoit · 21/11/2011 08:14

Ok: I'll be given biscuits.... But why is he doing this? Is he really stressed at work? Does he need you to listen and take up his idea because he us needing someone to see his ideas for the genius they are?! If it were me, I'd play along for a week then it'll either be forgotten, or you can say you've tried, but it doesn't make your life easier. Surely there's a compromise? I'd be more inclined to pick my battles and get my own way by stealth...

slavetofilofax · 21/11/2011 08:17

Your DH is mental.

Bless his little heart.

Adversecamber · 21/11/2011 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
wisebird · 21/11/2011 08:20

He, he. Excellent. Unanimity - I am not going mad. I will be brave and tell him straight up I am not adopting the freezer list.

Or maybe I will stick with it for a week in case he checks and as a marker to caring about his wishes, and then quietly drop it.

I agree about keeping a list of things we have run out of, so that I can add them to my shopping reliably. Maybe DH will settle for that. Not that we run out of stuff at all often.....on his rummage through the larder, DH thought we had run out of baked beans but I was able to reassure him that we had 4 spare tins in the utility back up larder. He also thought we had too much food waste (today was bin day and I foolishly remarked, after taking it out, that we have quite a lot this week - mind you, it's not food - it was all Amazon packaging but I kept quiet about that because that would be a whole new can of worms!). It's quite a fine balance to never run out of fresh food and yet never waste any. We also had the discussion about how much I spend a week on food. We are all quite thin and we have a large disposable income so I don't think it should be too big an issue. I am not good with criticism, perhaps.

I agree that DH needs less work and a hobby other than micromanaging the housekeeping from a position of total ignorance. I reckon it is a sign of stress.

OP posts:
senua · 21/11/2011 08:20

I am impressed that he could recognise the contents of your freezer enough to catalogue them.
My freezer is full of identikit something-brown-covered-in-ice-crystals.
Grin

overmydeadbody · 21/11/2011 08:22

YANBU

Your DH id a loon. Unless you have a family larger than the Von Trapps and multiple freezers full of food you do not need this sort of stock control.

Wolfiefan · 21/11/2011 08:22

I hate to admit this but I tried this and it didn't work! (I even had a whiteboard to write said list on.) You are dashing out the door and realise you haven't taken dinner out the freezer. List is forgotten!
If you have shelves how about one for veg, one for sweet stuff etc?
Was he annoyed because he can never find what he wants? I would get him his own special freezer for Christmas!

Northernlurker · 21/11/2011 08:25

my dh occasionally makes this sort of list. I thank him and then ignore it.

Original poster
wisebird · 21/11/2011 08:27

Wolfiefan - yes, exactly that problem. You would need to find a pen every time you take out a food item, or even move an item from one shelf to the next to fit things in better Grin

Yes, I do have a vague system, but confess it is only vague - ice cream and bread on top shelf, fish on bottom shelf, meat and veg on second and third shelves, but it does sometimes slip. Only the one freezer, although we do have two fridges (one for food and one for drinks - DH's idea and that works fine).

Perhaps I will visit DH's office and helpfully suggest a new filing system for him.

OP posts:
FredFredGeorge · 21/11/2011 08:28

I think it's an excellent idea, a couple of weeks ago DP as she was leaving whilst I was working from home said "If you've got a few minutes can you make the sauce for the lasagne" - easy I thought, apart from the complete absense of onions and inadequate supplies of tomatoes. Then again this week "can you make the sauce for the pizza's?", this time no tomatoes at all! A list in the front of every cupboard sounds the perfect solution!

starfishmummy · 21/11/2011 08:29

Just throw it out, accidentally of course!!

CailinDana · 21/11/2011 08:30

Your second post makes him sound like a control freak who is quite critical of you but that might be reading too much into it.

whatdoiknowanyway · 21/11/2011 08:30

DH tried to micromanage me when his health issues were making it difficult to have control in his own life, work etc.
We actually ended up in counselling and the counsellor helped him see that he was deflecting his attention from the area of his life he could not control by over managing an area he could.
I'd be wondering about his stress levels at work. And I wouldn't be using the freezer list.

LoveBeingAFirework · 21/11/2011 08:32

I tried this once, I listed everything in every cupboard and freezer. Then lost the list Blush

But to be told to do it, I would be adding and taking away random items for fun! Dolphin steaks go in the bottom draw, vodka in the top Wink