to be upset with DH for admitting he finds me unattractive

[moobrain]

Asked DH why he was less affectionate to me.

He told me that my legs are 'awful' especially around the thighs.

I got upset and he then said that this was why he doesnt like talking about it.

The thing is I am probably about 1/2 stone heavier than pre-baby, am a size 10, fit most my old clothes apart from my 'thin day' clothes.

AIBU or should I appreciate his honesty (if not his tact!)

He's only trying to be honest. Sort yourself out if you want his affection; if you don't care, don't bother.

I guess he is the 'type' to be enticed by looks. I don't think I would've married him (let's face it: he wouldn't have married me!!). Does he like good looking cars too? Some men are like that, and he can't help it. You did ask him why he was being less affectionate. I guess your body has changed and he is finding the adjustment difficult.

But as it stands I think you are perfectly justified in feeling hurt by the way he said it. Tell him it was unacceptable communicating it like that. And tell him that as your body has changed, he'll have to start digging deeper for why he's attracted to you. He can change too!

OP, I don't care if you're a size 20+ with legs like tree trunks. Your dh is a dick. He is witholding affection because he doesn't like your thighs???? Jesus wept.

Well, I guess you know on what grounds you are valued by him now, don't you?

Dh says he needs a slap about the head and told to get a grip!!!

ArgyMargy are you for real?

I'd love to be a size 10 after having my 2 dc!

Theres no way a man would turn down sex because someone was a size 10!

If you try working out etc to address this 'fault' then what will he come up with next to beat you verbally about?

Sorry but he is an arse.

DH recently found an old photo of me and went

"Wow, what happened to the young fit girl I married?"

then made eye contact

and immediately with barely a break in the flow said

"She's turned into an incredibly sexy woman, who is amazing in everywayandpleasedon'tkillme"

Point being, people say stuff without thinking but still know what they are saying iyswim your DP knew what he was saying and that it would hurt.

My dh was lucky he only got a dishcloth to the face

What a spiteful little turd your DH is.

Yes; by the time she's put on another half stone with the next DC her DH will be looking elsewhere...

it sounds a bit weird to judge you on the size of your thighs

tell him his brain has shrunk and that makes him alot less sexy

Sadly I think the 'thighs' are a straw man - there is something more fundamentally amiss with your relationship

Oh Argy - you're so trying too hard! 0/10

dear fecking god, the lunatics are about tonight

ArgyMargy, that's ridiculous. At what point would you draw the line? Should OP also feel obliged to have cosmetic surgery when she gets wrinkles?!

A man like that is not to be bothered with for the long haul.

oops hmc not you

Well good riddance to him if he does ArgyMargy, she can do much better than that.

Gosh, yes of course ArgyMargy. Size 10 thighs are soooo massive.

It's called emotional abuse. You are a size 10, a size 10, a size 10. You are probably also gorgeous and young. Inspect his head for an embryonic bald patch, inspect his eyes for lines (tell him he's going a bit round the eyes), give his beer belly a pinch, criticise his knees/teeth/smelly feet, suggest some exercises for his more private parts just so he might be able to satisfy you better in future.

Tell him you love the baby more than you love him.

No worries southeast

Argymargy is her dh! (i reckon)

OP, what else does your husband put you down about or criticise you for?

Oops Menopause - ok i was just bored with this "oh please tell me how thin I am" thread. And I bet she's a large 10.

Unreal! What a knob!!! Please dont take this on board Op, your DH is ridiculous!! Xx

Argy - coffee, now !

ArgyMargy, with bitchy comments like that, I hope you're a 6