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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be super cross that DD has watched Toy Story at pre-school today whilst eating tea?

141 replies

VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 17:57

AND they watched Cbeebies yesterday. I want to speak to the nursery manager about it but want to check I'm not being too pfb about it...

OP posts:
LydiaWickham · 17/11/2011 19:53

CailinDana - those 'excuses' aren't good enough either - if they are a staff member down, they should get other people in (good nurseries have regular 'temp' staff they use), they should have cover for breaks (at DS's nursery, the manager will go into the rooms if they need an extra worker to cover lunch breaks). There is no excuse for a nursery to put a TV, ever. If they are doing this, then the manager will have made the decision to put the TV in that room, you should complain to them.

And I bet they looked sheepish, they know this was crap.

GoForthAndSwivel · 17/11/2011 19:55

As a nursery worker, I have never known a nursery to even have a television on the premises let alone actually use it!

Hell, we even need to get permission from our manager if we want to use the cBeebies website when teaching the children a certain subject.

And yes, in a nursery lunchtime is classed as a social occasion where the children can all chat together.

If people want their children watching tv, they can do so at home. Why would you want pay decent money for your child to be sat in front of a tv? At least when they're learning you get your moneys worth!

dearheart · 17/11/2011 19:57

YANBU - and it is not right to show Toy Story to three year olds.

TheSkiingGardener · 17/11/2011 20:00

I wouldn't use a nursery that had a TV in the room. Just not a good sign!

LydiaWickham · 17/11/2011 20:00

OP - I really would be not just having a word with the nursery manager, I'd be looking round for another one. This is not a good nursery.

LeQueen · 17/11/2011 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov · 17/11/2011 20:06

EVERY nursery I have ever visited to look round has had a tv.

willowstar · 17/11/2011 20:08

hmmm, I sort of see where you are coming from. As a family we don't really watch TV, me and OH just never have, so our daughter (2) doesn't get it home much either apart from the occasional 'in the night garden'...but that is mainly because it would never occur to me to put it on. Now, she goes to a child minder once a week and part of the reason for her going there is because I want her exposed to a normal environment... (me and OH are a bit anti consumerist, don't buy many toys, hate that everything is branded etc...) but I don't want her to grow up apart from other people if you know what I mean.

So...the point is that she does watch TV there, she knows all kinds of TV charachters that I don't know...and I accept it. At home we don't watch it and she seems to be OK with that. So although I see why you would be annoyed at your children watching TV while eating, I can also see from lots of responses on here that it wouldn't be a big deal for a lot of people so it probably isn't a big deal at all.

HeresTheThingBooyhoo · 17/11/2011 20:12

i'll be honest here. i pay for nursery to provide safe supervision for my child when i cant. the social aspect of it is an added bonus, i was just as happy sending him to a CMer that had no other mindees, the main reason for childcare is because i can't really leave him alone according to the law (this is a joke before knickers get twisted out of all recognition. i wouldn't ever leave him alone). so if he watches half an hour of tv while eating a jam sandwich and is safe whilst doing so then i'm happy that i'm getting my money's worth. they dont have to be being actively taught something all the bloody time.

SomethingSuitablyWitty · 17/11/2011 20:13

No TV in the creche I use and in none that I visited (kids up to 2 and a half). I would be shocked if there were TBH. YANBU in my opinion.

girliefriend · 17/11/2011 20:14

YANBU I would be mightly unimpressed if this was my dd! There is no need for them to be watching t.v at pre school and tbh I would be looking for alternative childcare - don't care if this does make me pfb!!!

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 17/11/2011 20:14

Oblomov, I have never seen a nursery with a tv! And I looked round a fair few. Though I guess it never occurred to me to ask

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 17/11/2011 20:14

Oblomov, I have never seen a nursery with a tv! And I looked round a fair few. Though I guess it never occurred to me to ask

IveGotTightsOlderThanYouLove · 17/11/2011 20:21

YANBU. TV on suggests lazy nursery staff to me. I'd change nurseries if I was you, I think.

Wingdingdong · 17/11/2011 20:22

I'd be absolutely furious if DD's nursery showed Toy Story. It's a PG rating, not a U. PG means PARENTAL guidance - and the rating states that it's suitable for children aged eight and over, and may not be suitable for younger children. I'd also throw a fit if they watched any 90-min film. If I'm going to pay £11 for DD to be occupied that way for 90 mins, I'll take her to the cinema myself.

DD does watch television for 15 minutes a day at nursery, whilst they clear away lunch tables and set up the nap area. I've no issue with that at all, but parents are informed of this when shown round the nursery, and the DVDs are available for parents to see/check - and they're all CBeebies stuff or Peppa Pig or whatever, i.e. U rating and entirely age-appropriate. We chose the nursery on the whole package - it was "like home" and if that includes a television alongside the Victorian house, the garden, the big squishy sofa and the manager who bears a remarkable resemblance to Grandma, that's fine. DD doesn't need to spend every minute of every day occupied in EYFS curriculum-specified activities.

I'd be pretty peed off about watching whilst eating though - part of the reason for sending DD is because she had major food issues due to severe reflux and I wanted her to see other kids eating normally. Maybe slightly hypocritically, on nursery days when she comes home she does have a snack and a cup of milk at her own little table in front of In the Night Garden; that's more to do with the late timing and the need to calm her down before bed. She wouldn't normally eat in front of the television though - food isn't allowed out of the kitchen at home.

So if I were you I would be asking how often they watch, and what they watch, but I don't think it's unreasonable for them to watch appropriate stuff for appropriate lengths of time (

LydiaWickham · 17/11/2011 20:27

Oblomov - I looked round 5 nurseries, none had TVs. I wouldn't use one that did put the TV on.

Heresthething - while that might be your choice, most people don't see nursery as just somewhere to put their DCs while they aren't caring for them and should be just grateful they are kept safe. I expect his care to be as good as I would do, as a minimum.

thingamajig · 17/11/2011 20:28

YANBU, I don't think that TV at nursery is ever acceptable, also, I know that Toy Story would terrify DD who is 3. You are not being remotely pfb and I am really surprised to read so many posts saying that you are. DD very occasionally watches a DVD at home, but not more than once a week. I do not watch TV. DH does not watch TV. To us it is not normal. I grew up in a home where all meals were taken in front of the TV and it was horrible.

HeresTheThingBooyhoo · 17/11/2011 20:30

." I expect his care to be as good as I would do, as a minimum."

so do I. not sure what made you think i didn't.

LeQueen · 17/11/2011 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 17/11/2011 20:42

LeQueen - DS is a massive telly addict as well. He has his own DVD drawer on the TV unit and has seen How To Train Your Dragon at least 15 times.

I don't let him watch shite yet (I'm sure there will be plenty of that when he's older) but he has learnt SO much from TV.

HeresTheThingBooyhoo · 17/11/2011 20:50

no lequeen you aren't.

i dont have a tv, (only because there is no aerial at this house and i can't afford to buy one or renew the license) but my dcs do have lots of DVDs and can watch them whenever they want. they much prefer to be outside if at all possible and if not they will sit down with a book or the craft box and make some work of art, but they have free access to their DVDs.

CaptainNancy · 17/11/2011 20:51

YANBU- no television in our nursery/pre-school, and I'd never choose one that did.

And Toy Story? DD had nightmares for over a week first time she saw it (at freaking school!) so definitely NBU there.

kerala · 17/11/2011 20:53

Also in the YANBU camp for all the reasons already stated. Pretty lame especially when eating. Also my 3 year old is really really sensitive about what she watches on TV anything that is not Cbeebies/Peppa Pig type programme terrifies her. She has been really upset recently watching Cinderella and The Jungle Book (I know I know) so if someone had shown her Toy Story 3 I would have been quite pissed off - its DH and I that would have to deal with the tears, upset and subsequent disturbed night...

kerala · 17/11/2011 20:55

The joys of being woken at 3am because of a nightmare about "the stepmuvva" in flipping Cinderella.

SparkleSoiree · 17/11/2011 21:07

I have had a chuckle reading this thread because the majority of posters think YABU and I think you are over reacting a bit. Then I think it's your first child, you have to go through what we all have to go through with our first child so I can understand you questioning it.

I don't allow my younger ones to watch tv (11 & 4) whilst eating (19yr old leads an almost half life existence so cant talk for him!) So I do agree with you there. I do allow them to have the odd food fight - but that's about it really. Grin

Don't be too concerned unless it becomes a habit.