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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be super cross that DD has watched Toy Story at pre-school today whilst eating tea?

141 replies

VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 17:57

AND they watched Cbeebies yesterday. I want to speak to the nursery manager about it but want to check I'm not being too pfb about it...

OP posts:
HeresTheThingBooyhoo · 17/11/2011 18:58

i personally have no issue with a jam sandwich at nursery, even if it is as often as once a week. everyday i would have a problen with. once a week? no increase in blood pressure.

catgirl1976 · 17/11/2011 18:59

I didn't see that thread - I wouldn't have a problem once a week. Once a day - yes but once a week, no. I would have a problem if a nursery was always putting the TV on rather than on occasion and I would have a problem if they commonly ate whilst watching tv - but again not as a one off.

Original poster
VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 19:04

All useful, thanks, even those which are piss taking. This is a genuine AIBU, I can promise you DurhamDurham.

And yes, it probably is a jam sandwich thread - not that I've come across one of those before (don't usually come on here, you're all a bit lairy Grin). They did actually have jam sandwiches for their tea, but that one of her five a day right?

OP posts:
Original poster
VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 19:05

*that's

OP posts:
somedayma · 17/11/2011 19:06

I honestly thought this was a joke til I read more. Srsly- YABU

VivaLeBeaver · 17/11/2011 19:08

Sounds like a fantastic learning opportunity to me.

She will learn to eat while not looking at her food. Multitasking. And a skill she will utilise loads in life.

FFSEnid · 17/11/2011 19:08

My ds would have freaked out at toy story at 3. He has done the "take this note to every teacher in the school" trick pulled on him when they have watched anything perilous at school.

531800000008 · 17/11/2011 19:13

actually I know we are poking fun a bit but PG films ought not be shown really, U films ok (not keen on while eating but ho hum)

Original poster
VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 19:13

Durham - perhaps if I were able to purchase the perspective of a mother to a 14 year old I'd feel differently. You've been there, done that etc. Does anyone thinking IABU have DC's over the age of 5?

I'm sure my attitude to DD2 will be v different.

OP posts:
Aliceinboots · 17/11/2011 19:14

Does no one here eat in front of the telly apart from me?

witherhills · 17/11/2011 19:15

OP, I don't know why you are getting a hard time, there was a similar thread the other day, which went the other way.

firstly Toystory is not necessarily age appropriate, although I love it, and DS could quote it word for word at 3 Blush

But having the TV on whilst eating is creating bad habits.
I learnt that from experience, another Blush

i wouldn't be happy if children were watching TV at nursery, full-stop.
If it was once in a while I wouldn't make a fuss, but all the time, or every meal time, i would have to comment

are you happy with the nursery otherwise?

RaspberryLemonPavlova · 17/11/2011 19:15

No I don't think YABU. Meal times are meant to be social occasions in nurseries. You said it had been cBeebies yesterday so its not just a one off.

But also, if it was the first Toy Story, it wasn't suitable viewing anyway as it is PG, it is very different in feel to the 2nd and 3rd films.

Treat days at my DSs Infant and Junior Schools that include DVDs (eg end of term) can only be U, they won't allow PGs. And at pre-school they should only be showing Uc

Original poster
VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 19:22

Am generally happy with the pre-school witherhills, DD has been there from 10 months. There is a different feel to the pre-school room which I guess is to be expected, with the ratios being so different, I do wonder if they struggle to keep order sometimes but have no evidence to back that up. At tea-time they're usually really quiet anyway, so don't see the need for watching a DVD.

I'm not sure which Toy Story it was either, may ask just to check...

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 17/11/2011 19:24

I doubt they watched the entire film.

CailinDana · 17/11/2011 19:25

I am laughing at mealtimes in a nursery being a "social occasion" - have you ever actually seen a bunch of three year olds eat together? It's bedlam, even among the best behaved children. Heck even among 10 year olds lunchtimes are a noisy, messy riot. Wasn't there a thread on here recently where a school was insisting on silence during mealtimes? That'll give you an idea of the chaos that can break out.

I would guess the video was put on for practical reasons - either there was a staff member absent and the others had to take their breaks so there wasn't enough staff to herd supervise them all without a distraction, or there was some quiet activity planned for the afternoon so the children needed to be pulled down off the ceiling for a while.

It amazes me how naive so many parents seem to be about real classrooms. They seem to think that it's all nice clean orderly learning and singing when in fact a huge amount of it, especially in the younger years, is crowd control and practical management. Children that young aren't capable of dealing with constant input and sometimes need a quiet activity like watching a video to calm them or to help the day run smoothly. It isn't going to damage anyone and it is actually a positive thing in the sense that the children are hearing language and understanding a plotline. I'm sure plenty of people would be annoyed if a member of the public who didn't understand their job was criticising them for something they did without any understanding of why they did it. I don't understand why teachers are always up for such criticism from people who have no idea of what it's like to teach.

Mishy1234 · 17/11/2011 19:27

Yanbu.

I don't see why a nursery would need a tv at all. I've never come across one which does. Is it normal practice?

I wouldn't be happy about it being on when they are eating. There's no need for it.

BornToFolk · 17/11/2011 19:33

Can I just check? Did your DD tell you they watched Toy Story or did one of the staff? Cos my 4 year old comes home from nursery telling me they did a whole load of things I know they didn't!

I'd probably have a word, just to find out what happened. DS has watched TV at nursery on the odd occasion, which I don't mind. If it was every day I'd be pissed off though.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 17/11/2011 19:33

Wow, I am usually a very laid back parent (I was fighting the corner of the jam sandwich in the other thread) but I completely think YANBU.

At home I am pretty relaxed about TV but I would never ever expect the DC to watch it at nursery or preschool- there are so many toys and activities and plenty of people paid to be playing with them and helping them.

I am pretty relaxed about tv at home, however I do kind of use it as a distraction while I get stuff done. DD would always prefer to be doing something with me than watching tv. But there is only one of me, at nursery there are loads of staff and that is their job so there is no excuse! As for wind-down time, whatever happened to story time?

cat64 · 17/11/2011 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 19:38

But tea times are really calm at the pre-school, most of the time it is crowd control, especially after a day inside because its raining, but whenever I pick up when they are having a meal it is so quiet and peaceful. Totally no need to watch tv - but perhaps they were a bit off today. Dunno.

Anyway, have decided not to speak to the manager but I AM going to speak to the room leader and just ask how often they do watch television but won't do a scary aggressive mother thing, will save that for the thing that makes my head explode (as promised above). She did look a bit sheepish when DD said she had watched Buzz Lightyear (btw, she thought it was 'cool' and was very pleased with it all).

My night out tonight so I'm off, thanks again for input. Carry on if you like, I like a good semi-flaming me. Medium-rare please.

OP posts:
Original poster
VeryHungryKatypillar · 17/11/2011 19:40

They definitely watched it, one of the staff confirmed it when DD mentioned it. She did say they watched all of it but I'm a bit more Hmm about that.

OP posts:
Peachy · 17/11/2011 19:40

Well, we don;t have a TV in the room where we eat and I am not so keen on that but to complaint level? probably not tbh.

Our Cm uses a half hour of a DVD at the end of a session after lunch whilst she washes up and does the parental notes etc. I have no issue with that.

nicknamenotinuse · 17/11/2011 19:45

YADDDDDBU. It's only Toy Story and they were only eating tea, not watching Reservoir Dogs and eating witchetty grubs.

LydiaWickham · 17/11/2011 19:48

YANBU - have a word - quite frankly, if you are using a nursery, they shouldn't be watching TV at all, and certainly not at meal times and not for more than an hour at a time. They don't have a TV at DS's nursery, I wouldn't want him to go to one that used TVs.

Complain. I bet you won't be the only parent pissed off about it. If you wanted your DC cared for using the 'easy option' you'd have gone for the 'cheap option' childcare, nursery is rarely that. And don't worry about being the one who complains a lot, if you are paying around £700 a month for a service, you should get it.

KatieMiddIeton · 17/11/2011 19:52

I pay over £60 per day for nursery. For that kind of money I would be pissed off if they put the telly on. I am allowed to sit DS in front of the telly for a break but I am not being paid to look after him.

Ds's nursery would never be so sloppy as to just bung him in front of the telly. My £60 buys me the kind of directed learning I can only dream of being able to deliver myself.