To think that I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for driving on the school run?

[DSM]

Some people have to drive their children to school, I am one of them.

AIBU to feel put out at the constant letters home and remarks from other parents/teachers about driving to school? To the point where last week I was given a very hard time for not signing the petition to stop parents driving to school?

As much as I agree that walking to school is a great benefit for children, the campaigners really should consider that its not a viable option for everyone.

Well, isn't this an interesting thread!

Eldest child is starting school in Jan. I've already had lots of cat's bum phone calls from the school who have very forcefully suggested she should have started in Sept. I'll be walking her to school some days, driving her on others. And on other days the nanny will be walking her. (The nanny has not passed her driving test yet so will be walking whatever the weather.) We live in a very rural area, and will be going to the nearest village school which is a mile along forest paths. Atm I occasionally pick her up from pre-school on the pony and plan to carry on doing that when she goes to school - I've already been told 'ooh, Mrs Headteacher won't have that!' But with a recently broken leg I am certainly not going to walk the mile to school, mile back, and then get DD out on her pony and lead her round on that too. My foot would drop off!

We can't cycle yet - lots of tree roots on the forest tracks means you need to be a fairly adept mountain biker, not a 4yo with stabilisers and a mother with a 1yo strapped to your back. We could go by the roads but that would double the distance and thanks to it being a perfectly straight country lane it seems to compel drivers to go at 100mph (and there are the flowers to prove it's deadliness.)

What this thread has taught me though, is that if I am pushed for time (a constant theme in my life) I should make sure I put my work uniform on if I have to pick her up in the car!

I'm already 'that parent' in the eyes of the school, for sending her late and the pony pick-up. Might as well give them the uniform to gossip over too

I would like to walk but half the time the minded child I take is late so we end up going in the car. Fortunately we are allowed to park in the nearby pub car park so its not too bad and safe enough. We do get the odd lazy arse parents stopping on the zig-zag lines but the school crossing lady clocks them and moves them on, we also had the police making on-the-spot fines the other week, wish they were there all the time, it would be a dream driving and parking.

I have asked the child's parent to bring her earlier as my son wants to walk/cycle but he's not allowed to walk a mile to and from school, I am trying to get him to be more independant ready for high school yet they think he is still too young and nearly 10.

Violet - I appreciate your thoughts, and in response - yes there is a breakfast club but I already pay for 5 days after school club and can't afford both. There is of course public transport, however it's a 10 minute walk from school to bus stop which would take me to work. The bus journey takes around 25 minutes, so even if the bus arrived at the exact moment I got to the bus stop (there are 3 an hour so unlikely) I would still be 20 minutes late to work.

However - please don't think I haven't the intelligence to have considered all options. I have only had my car for 3 months and prior to that, we had to get a taxi. There was no other way for me to make it to work on time. Believe me, if I could cycle or use public transport, I would. Not least for the 'health benefit' but also to save money. It's just not an option. It is in fact the sole reason wr decided to get a car, taxis were too expensive and unreliable.

Irrelevant - but since my capability of working out the best way to transport my family to the relevant places of a morning is under scrutiny, I shall add that I also work nights, so with a maximum of 4 hours sleep every night, the idea of losing one of those hours so I can shell out more money for breakfast club and then walk/bus/cycle to work is not one I shall be entertaining.

I really think the walk to school campaigners need to have some understanding of the reality of other people's lives, and focus their attention on those who are genuinely being lazy. And stop dishing out patronising suggestions as if I hadn't considered the other options.

In Yr1 DD got told off (in a very PA way) for not walking to school on 'Walking Wednesday'. Everyone who did walk got a sticker, and she was distraught (in the way that only 5 years old sticker addicts can be ) that she didn't get one. Her teacher ever said to her "If you made more effort you would have got one"

I was bloody angry and asked her teacher (in front of a number of others) if she really wanted DD to break the law and walk the 3 miles to school alongside a dual cariageway to fit in the the school's bloody ridiculous policy.

Teacher was but still tried to bluster on that we could drive the dual carriageway part, then park up and walk the rest of the way. Considering that the nearest parking spot to the dual carriageway is...the school carpark, I chose to ignore her.

Funnily enough, now we are in Yr 2, they no longer do Walking Wednesday...

what about - shock horror - letting children walk alone to school!? most of us did it when we were young! problem solved.

most mums in my area choose to drive their children 500 yards to the local primary school, i don't get it...

chocolategateaudeluxe - another example of how one solution does not fit all. I wouldn't send my 4 yo off to walk a mile through a forest on her own. Even the nanny has her OH come and pick her up from my house when it's dark, and she only lives 400 yds away (he comes to walk her home, before anyone splutters over it!) I can't imagine what age she will be when I am happy to let her off to walk in the woods by herself, on a regular pattern, at the same time each day. Especially not when our local news headlines this week have been about the police finally catching the killer of a local village teenager who was murdered years ago, but who has been established not to be the killer of 2 local 9 yos who's bodies were found in the woods.

YANBU - those letters drive me mad as well - what if you have to go to work and dropping the kids off en-route is the only way of getting everyone where they have to be on time? We used to regularly get pressurizing letters from our old head, but his car was always to be seen parked in the school car park...

Getting a taxi to school everyday? That is indulgent!

I'd like to turn up at the school gates every day in a stretch limo, containing me and my one big fat child. Then have the limo reverse over a couple of reception kids as we turn around to head for home.

NB the reception kids would recover after 6 weeks in traction, I'm not a total cow.

And an indulgence we could ill afford.. But a necessity to get to work on time.

I wouldn't let it get to you.

Many people drive to school when they don't need to (and on lots of other short journeys). Sounds like you DO need to, so I really wouldn't worry.

If the messages make 1 less person drive on the school run, then that's good for everyone.

Actually - the taxi may seem like an indulgence but it cost me half what I spend per day on parking - not even taking petrol into consideration.

No wonder you bought a car DSM, the taxi costs alone must have cost an absolute fortune! And I do appreciate that you need to drive to get to work on time afterwards so I would just let this petition go over your head as I would imagine it is aimed at the people who don't have to drive to work afterwards (or who have a disability etc). And as someone else said, who are they actually sending the petition to? It is obviously just an awareness thing in the hope they can get at least one person to change their ways.

Unfortunately flexible working isn't an option for me - the business I work for needs someone here at 9am to let in cleaners/take in deliveries/place orders/let staff in etc etc. If I couldn't be here for 9am, someone else would be employed who could be. I don't get a lunch hour so no chance of cutting time off it to start later.

Isn't everyone entitled to a lunch hour by law?

My son decided to announce to his class that his mum thought 'Walk on Wednesday' was a farce, and encouraged children to lie (the children have to state how they get to school every Wednesday, and the class with the most walkers wins the golden boot). The teacher was sufficiently concerned about my views on this to raise them at parents evening.

Not if you have signed the working time directive opt-out statement - which in my industry you basically have to. It doesn't take away your right to breaks, and yes I do have breaks but I tend to just eat whilst working, as we all do. No body goes and just sits down for 20 minutes.

And yes - there are 2 other managers and we all open up, I do get days off and holidays! However if I couldn't work a dayshift as a general rule (which means being there for 9am) then I would no longer be able to fulfil the duties required of a manager, thus my job would have to go to someone who can.

FredFredGeorge - I cycled to work every day for years. At my fittest I could not have done 3 miles in 15 minutes. 3.8 miles to work took me 22 minutes to get there on a good day. But only if the 22 sets of traffic lights (I kid you not) were all green. On the way back it takes 26 minutes (again with a good lot of green lights) because it is all up hill. And if it rained and I had to get out of wet cycling gear it takes longer. And actually, I sweat buckets so have to do a complete change anyway....another 5 mins added. Although it was quicker than driving to get there, granted.

The OP is merely asking not to be judged when she has weighed up all the options and has reasons for driving. Really we should be aiming to calmly show people who could do things differently how they can do so.

OP - a woman in the playground the other day said "Don't you ever walk to school?". I punched her calmly explained, for the millionth time, that although it is a mile to the school that we were allocated, it is then a further two miles to the childminder and then four more to work. Although I am sat here trying to work out how I could cycle it cause the petrol is killing me.

Why should the employer grant a request for flexible working when the OP has a way of getting to work on time?

I have no other way of getting to work than to drive - DS goes to pre-school at 7am and there are no buses within a decent walkable distance. I have absolutely no intention of finding a different way of getting to work 15 miles away as it would add at least 2 hours a day to my commuting time, reduce my hours at work, and would mean I wasn't available to collect DS at nursery if needed.

Once a child is in juniors most children can walk to school unaccompanied. Certainly there is no reason a child can't walk a short distance unaccompanied once they are eight years old. I think that schools should encourage parents to allow their children some independence and then more children would walk to school on their own.

Our children are so mollycoddled they aren't prepared for life. Roads are scary, but road sense doesn't develop over night. Health and safey has gone too far as many year 6s are accompanieid to school.

I see no easy way of stopping people driving their kids to school unless you make all the parking around a school permit parking between the hours of 7.30 to 9.30 and 2.30 to 3.30. It would be a real pain for residents in the road.