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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for driving on the school run?

204 replies

DSM · 17/11/2011 15:36

Some people have to drive their children to school, I am one of them.

AIBU to feel put out at the constant letters home and remarks from other parents/teachers about driving to school? To the point where last week I was given a very hard time for not signing the petition to stop parents driving to school?

As much as I agree that walking to school is a great benefit for children, the campaigners really should consider that its not a viable option for everyone.

OP posts:
gothicangel · 17/11/2011 16:23

LauraIngallsWilder if DH is collecting son from school he has to leave early to be able to park close to school, he is disabled and if he doesnt get there early he has to walk 10 mins or so to the playground and he cant walk for that lenght of time,
x

o

Ephiny · 17/11/2011 16:26

YANBU, but if you need to drive it's probably not aimed at you.

Normally I'd say it's none of their business whether you need to or want to or whatever, it's your car and your children, so your decision! But they're probably trying to reduce congestion and improve road safety around the school, so it's not a bad thing to raise awareness and get people thinking about whether they really need to.

No doubt they're going about it in a silly annoying way though! Who exactly is this petition for?

Blu · 17/11/2011 16:26

I'm interested to know how they would stop people driving to school.

People who live within walking distance relative to their circumstance (e.g going on to work) do walk, don't they?

NeilsBoar · 17/11/2011 16:26

If you (or children) are disabled or were given a school miles from your home despite applying for the closest one then you are being entirely reasonable to drive your children to school.

Peachy · 17/11/2011 16:26

A lot of our parents HAVE to drive to school if they use it due to distance; three are closer schools for them but if they used them we would not have a local school, next one over subscribed so not going to complain. Also the regional comp is next to the school so if you have to drop an older child there it's easier for you if the LO goes to school next door.

Also university, play school and a busy Church on the road.

Anyway big drive towards walking to school but the thing is the vast majority of the traffic isn't the school's and yesterday a child was knocked over at the crossing (know it's serious but not how serious) and I have to say if my kids ahd to cross that road I would now be thinking about picking them up in a car, it is a terrible road.

As it happens we do walk as it is safe and easy to do so- or at least the ones in the village do, SN Bases driven in obvisouly due to distance.

spiderpig8 · 17/11/2011 16:34

The arrogance of your school astounds me! And it's stupidity too.Who are they going to present this petion to? what a pointless exercise.In fact if i normally walked to school I would start driving now!!!

spiderpig8 · 17/11/2011 16:35

its

LieInsAreRarerThanTigers · 17/11/2011 16:37

We can all make excuses and say we 'can't' and of course that is really true for some, but not all. My son's school doesn't start until 8:55 a.m. so there is no way I could start at 9a.m. I got that straight at my job interview. I work 9:15 til 5:30 instead. As it happens it suits me best to cycle, and I hate the traffic around the school and the dangerous parking etc. When I had to drive dd to school over a few months I used to park 5 minutes walk away then also walk to work from there pushing my son in his buggy.
I think it is great that schools are campaigning for this awareness and making parents think about whether they really need to drive. I accept that some of you do but a lot don't really.

Original poster
DSM · 17/11/2011 16:37

LauraIngalls - are you genuinely suggesting I allow my 6th to walk for 20 minutes along a very busy road?! Are you being serious?

And I am utterly Shock at the suggestion that being able to walk to school should take priority over earning a living. I'm not sure I've ever heard anything quite so ridiculous.

OP posts:
omgomgomg · 17/11/2011 16:39

I would e-mail the head stating that you do not wish to be bullied for having to work for a living and to be at work on time in order to keep your job.

"It really is simple". All this ridiculous traffic at schools - how smug/thoughtless. Nice that you qualified it with "(if you are able)".

I've really no idea if any of the parents at my dc's school drive unnecessarily. I'm too busy dashing off to work after drop off to be nosey enough to try and work out. I wouldn't dream of interfering and lecturing other parents unless they were parked on the zig zag safety area etc.

The Labour government was so keen to get women back to work after having kids, they brought in funded preschool places, wraparound care guidelines and proposals etc they obviously forgot that we need to get to work at a reasonable time just like our husbands and that in many many cases this cannot be done by walking. If I was allowed to drop my child at school at 8.30 without having to pay for a whole 1 & 1/4 hour session of breakfast club then I could walk to and from school. They can't magically create space for huge car parks at schools so it causes congestion at drop off and pick up time.

Many parents who drive to school could set off earlier and walk but the limited drop off time (in our case a 10 minute slot between 8.45 and 8.55) means they don't have the luxury of enough time to walk back again to pick up their car and get to work on time.

If you a re a SAHP, think before you judge the working parent's getting to school and work routine as being lazy.

During walk to school week, I just told the dc to say that yes they walked to school explaining that they walked just as far if not further than some children who live very close to the school and hence walk for 5 mins to get there. Mine got stickers !

Original poster
DSM · 17/11/2011 16:40

I must point out that I too agree with raising awareness (though I find that a patronising statement - I'm sure most people are 'aware' that they can walk..) however I understand the sentiment.

It's having guilt thrown at me for being in the group that simply doesn't have the luxury of being able to walk to school.

OP posts:
Original poster
DSM · 17/11/2011 16:41

Not 6th, 6yo. IPhone..

OP posts:
Kayzr · 17/11/2011 16:42

We live about a mile away from DS1's school and walk unless it's raining or need to go out afterwards. Our school has an arrangement with the council that we can use the car park nearby if we have a permit.

But usually we park outside my Mums house which is about a 5 minute walk to the school.

BarmyBiscuit · 17/11/2011 16:44

I walk my son to nursery. He is nearly 4 and it takes 15 mins along a main road and I have to cross 2 busy roads. If I could drive, I'd still walk. I have no problem with parents who drop off in their car then move on to work but a family who lives across from me takes the car to drop off their 2 children and I know they don't work. I don't like that tbh

FredFredGeorge · 17/11/2011 16:44

YABU It's a 4 mile total journey and you have 15 minutes to do the 3 miles after leaving the kids, you can take a bicycle to comfortably make it into work in time.

Now if you worked 20miles from the school drop off I'd have some sympathy that you have to drive, but your description. Nope, it's a decision for your convenience, and the school and others have every right to try and change your behaviour to something better for society as a whole by embarrassing you.

nothingoldcanstay · 17/11/2011 16:51

I think the schools should do more to ensure school traffic is under control. A one way system for school drop off's for 15 mins for example at the start and end of the school day. It works well at the schools that do it near us.

We live opposite a private school that totally blocks the road into town because parents just drop (anywhere) and then try and get back out the same way. If they opened the road (which goes past the school houses) parents could drive in,drop off and exit safety.

liveinazoo · 17/11/2011 16:51

i must admit i no loads mums who drive when they live less than 15min walk away.my only bugbear is that for us the road our school is on is rediculously narrow and when parents park both sides its single lane traffic and on bin day road rage is unreal.considerate parking is all i ask for as a pedestrain trailing kids and particular growl for those that stop the car just outside the gate and the kids hop out and run in bringing agression from road users and seemingly unconcerned kids under 8 are being left unsupervised in the playground prior to the whistle being blown

popbiscuit · 17/11/2011 16:52

Sorry...did anyone actually read my post properly? I said if you are not walking to school because you are working but DON'T HAVE TO. Of course, lots of people HAVE to go to work and have NO choice but to drive their children on the way. My scathing comment was meant for people who have more flexibility but choose NOT to exercise it.

JamieComeHome · 17/11/2011 16:53

If the campaign doesn't apply to your circumstances then ignore it.

Minus273 · 17/11/2011 16:54

I think it depends on how far, why and more importantly how people drive. Our school has a side pedestrian gate. There is a woman who lives 2 doors away from the side gate yet she straps the 2 dc in the car drives up the road past the side gate. Round the block in and down the long drive at the front entrance of the school. Makes me Hmm. At the same time it is a village school and some children are coming from remote properties (it is their nearest school). These DC are driven to school.

I had to throw DD onto the grass verge one morning when someone drove up onto and along the pavement from behind us. I don't mean crossing the pavement to get to an entrance but along it. Other parents drive safely, patiently and use the parking and drop off places provided.

I think what I'm trying to say is the reasonablness of driving to school depends on the circumstances and those who do have to drive should be reasonable about how they drive.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 17/11/2011 16:54

That's not what I'm questioning popbiscuit. I'm questioning your statement that people should give up any work not absolutely necessary in order to walk their child to school. That's far from simple.

popbiscuit · 17/11/2011 16:54

....and Spider; there are no words. Arrogance, you say?

bananamam · 17/11/2011 17:04

Get a bike.....Wink

fedupofnamechanging · 17/11/2011 17:06

I am a SAHP. Please don't think that all of us are preoccupied with how other parents take their kids to school. As far as I'm concerned, it's entirely your own business and nothing to do with anyone else. I would be very pissed off if someone presented me with a petition, telling me how to live my life. I believe the words 'fuck' and 'off' would be used.

To the poster who suggested groups of kids being taken by different parents in turn, I like taking my own dc to school and have no desire to send them off with anyone else or acquire responsibility for other people's children.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 17/11/2011 17:07

YANBU!

Some people are so busy lecturing others they don't notice what they say is stupid.

This reminds me of my old PE teacher telling me off and saying I was 'lazy' because I said I couldn't cycle to school. It took over an hour on the bus! As if I could cycle that.