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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for driving on the school run?

204 replies

DSM · 17/11/2011 15:36

Some people have to drive their children to school, I am one of them.

AIBU to feel put out at the constant letters home and remarks from other parents/teachers about driving to school? To the point where last week I was given a very hard time for not signing the petition to stop parents driving to school?

As much as I agree that walking to school is a great benefit for children, the campaigners really should consider that its not a viable option for everyone.

OP posts:
Pendeen · 17/11/2011 20:39

I park a few minutes walk away from the school and so everyone thinks I an a healhy greenie who walks DD there and back!

(Not because I am a smug little trog a keen environmentalist who wants brownie points - it's because I got so fed up with other women who cannot park for toffee and scratched my lovely Alfa Romeo)

So there! :)

smokinaces · 17/11/2011 20:39

Harry, my local school we did apply for - its 0.7 miles away but again through a field its a 20 minute walk I reckon. But it was over subscribed. So we got the one which is 1.8miles away (which I was very happy about as to me it was a better school). But its in the next "village" and through loads of fields. I walked it a few weeks back, and it took me 45 minutes, even though technically its less than 2 miles.

Minus273 · 17/11/2011 20:41

Personally I walk with DD to school so I am standing up for others here. DD's school is a village school. For all of the children in the school, that school IS their local school and also (as the crow flies) their nearest school. However because of the area some of these children actually live a few miles out. The next nearest for them the distance could be in double figures. There is a limit to how many miles a 4 year old can be expected to walk.

On top of that with the shambles that is the school admissions in this country many apply to their local school with the next nearest as back up yet get allocated a school a significant distance away.

The most reasonable thing to ask is that those driving to school don't speed, park safely and are curteous.

redskyatnight · 17/11/2011 20:42

There are some people who absolutely have to drive their child to school but I would argue that actually a lot of people have choices

They might have:

  • choices to share the school run with other parents
  • choices to go to a school that is nearer their house
  • choices to arrange flexible working (so they can go in later)
  • choices to live nearer their workplace
  • choices to be a little bit late for that "important" thing (I don't mean work here - lots of parents at school "have" to drive as otherwise they would be late for toddler group Hmm

My DC go to schools that are over a mile apart, DH and I both work and somehow we manage to get them both to school on time (and us to work on time) without use of a car.

popbiscuit · 17/11/2011 20:44

Hard. It's not possible for everyone and that's why those of us that can should.

southeastastra · 17/11/2011 20:46

it's a bit silly where i live, there are lots of children yet my son is the only one who could walk to school.

the others are bussed out of borough to religious/more 'affluent', and private schools.

and i guess it is a benefit if the roads weren't so clogged up with said parents

i think everyone should use their local school. one nearest to where the live.

helpmabob · 17/11/2011 20:52

OP a petition like that could never be legally enforcable. And really some of the posters here need to get over themselves. It is not your business if someone drives to school. It is your business if someone runs over a kid obvioulsy and bad parking is not on. But it is noone's business how one chooses to get one's child to school.

And it is noone's business which school you use to send your children to. I don't get this moral righteousness over local schools, fine if you casn afford the housing in a good catchment area to wax lyrical about local schools...

The self rightousness on here is shocking

helpmabob · 17/11/2011 20:53

"The most reasonable thing to ask is that those driving to school don't speed, park safely and are curteous." Quite right

Anything else is unreasonable

TandB · 17/11/2011 20:59

YANBU

When DS1 starts school we will have to drive. We live in a tiny village with a bus that only runs twice a day in each direction. Our nearest school is on the edge of the town, probably not much more than a mile away but the lanes are narrow with no pavements and high stony verges that prevent you getting off the road and out of the way of cars. The road isn't straight and goes down into a little valley and back up a ridiculously steep hill which accounts for most of the distance between us and the school. I have walked that hill once and had to stop three times for a rest and I was reasonably fit at the time. There is no way a 4 or 5 year old could walk it and you couldn't carry them or push a buggy. That is not mentioning the fact that the lanes are used as a rush-hour rat run and people come bombing around blind corners not expecting anyone to be on the roads - I have nearly had several near-misses in the car so there is no way I would be risking walking it with children.

The traffic problem is one reason we won't be applying to our nearest school - it would be a nightmare to drive it as you would be stuck in the commuter traffic and there is nowhere to park. We are going to apply to a village school about 4 miles away in the opposite direction simply because we can drive out through the country lanes and park about quarter of a mile away and walk from there.

Pekka · 17/11/2011 21:02

YABU, 3 miles in 15 minutes can be done on a bicycle. However, you don't have to stop driving your kids to school, the school cannot force you to walk or cycle. No one can.

southeastastra · 17/11/2011 21:03

'The self rightousness on here is shocking'

shocking, really? it's called having an opinion

Crabapple99 · 17/11/2011 21:04

Walking your children to school is lovely. It's regular exercise, and a time for an unpressured conversation, or just quiet company. As children grow more independant, and reach teenage years, it is even more important to have that ruitene to stay in touch. I wouldn't want to lose it. not everyone is in a position to be able to though.

helpmabob · 17/11/2011 21:04

My opinion is it comes across as self rightous

swedie · 17/11/2011 21:05

Smokinaces - I understand that people have to get to work, but also agree with redskyatnight that we all have choices. People are v attached to their cars yet complain about other drivers clogging "their" roads. Very few people are willing to acknowledge the effect their transport choices have on others and are willing to make any change for the greater good.

southeastastra · 17/11/2011 21:07

using the local school would be for the greater good for everyone in a 'community' though i don't think that exists anymore and know i am going off track Grin

does bother me that people seem to like to live in an area yet don't use the school

probably too chavvy for them

helpmabob · 17/11/2011 21:12

IME people live in areas they can afford, very few of the people I know live in the areas of their choice because they simply can't afford the housing.

Also if the local school is not good then I believe it is understandable that families will choose a different school if they can get a place.

notpodd · 17/11/2011 21:17

I think the age of the kids and sibblings is also really important. DD2 is 5 and takes forever to walk anywhere. We live 2 miles from the school and it would genuinely take us an hour to walk there. I still then have to get home with DD3, and then walk back to get them all again later and repeat the process. I cannot possibly be expected to give an 8th of my day to walking to school - I think that is highly unreasonable. It sounds like NIMBYs trying to protect their villages as if they are better for living there. Our schools policy is walk if you live close and be respectful of the village and the villagers if you drive.

SaggyoldCHRISTMASHUMBUGcatpuss · 17/11/2011 21:18

We used to get told off on walk to school Wednesday. It was 15 miles!!!

southeastastra · 17/11/2011 21:18

the local school is good, it's just people don't want to mix with the working classes if they would be honest for a change!

i find it quite odd myself and has got worse over the years.

halcyondays · 17/11/2011 21:19

"Unpressured conversation, or just quiet company" What, with two children aged 5 and 3 running around squealing, pinching each other, running too fast and falling over and hurting themselves, stepping in dog shit Grin ok, sometimes, it can be nice walking home, they like picking daisies and leaves and it's good exercise, but it can also be horribly stressful.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 17/11/2011 21:21

Somewhere in the back of my mind I can hear my mother saying "...and we had to walk three miles to school on our own over open fields when I was seven..."

DS is only in a day nursery for two sessions a week and I work part time, so I am luckier than some people as I can chose to walk or drive. Usually, because of work commitments and location, we drive to drop him off one day and I walk to collect him later on. The next day we walk there and walk home again, unless we have errands to run further away or appointments somewhere.

But I've seen an ex colleague trying to keep her work commitments and her childcare ones and it's hard for working parents. She was promised a lot of flexibility to allow for her childcare when she started the job, promised that she could arrive a little late and leave a little early as long as her targets were met, but those promises were quickly taken back. She only stayed a few months but if she had to cope without her car I think she would have been gone within just a week or two. Walking might be the ideal but it isn't practical or possible for some people.

We live opposite a senior school and a lot of parents who do drive park outside our house. The only ones that bother me are the inconsiderate ones who block drives, park on the pavement or the grass, actually drive over the grass between our street and the main road as a short cut (it's not safe enough to do this either way), who block the road, sit in their cars waiting and then drop litter out of the windows etc.

There's plenty of space to park properly on the street and most people manage not to cause a nuisance of themselves while they do it. I wouldn't dream of telling them how they should get there children to school, but I would like them to consider the people who live on the street a bit more while they drop them off or collect them.

lockets · 17/11/2011 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupwithdeployment · 17/11/2011 21:24

We are lucky - the DSs (5 and 7) go to the local school 3 mins walk away. It would probably take about 30 mins to drive, park, load up, unload, find a space etc etc. I will never ever be driving them....

But last summer we were having a major battle with the council who wanted to put them into a school in the Oval. Some 4 miles from Balham where we live. Driving would have been disastrous, but public transport probably equally horrendous. thank God we ended up in the school we are in.

BrianAndHisBalls · 17/11/2011 21:28

but how does the bicycle work if you're carrying dc's bags/lunchboxes/homework folders/sportskit and a laptop? I genuinely don't understand that, dd has 5 bags on certain days of the week and couldn't carry them all. School is roughly 2 miles away, my work is then another 15 miles and dh's is another 12 miles. How would walking work? Confused

spugglers · 17/11/2011 21:30

Yanbu. We walk but I work from home. When I was pregnant there was one occasion when I was going to the hospital straight after, dh was driving and we dropped ds off on the way. Ds was really worried because it has been rammed into them that driving to school is evil!

Most people who drive have valid reasons. Although there is one woman in my street who waves at me in the morning as she gets in her car. We then arrive at the school at exactly the same time and then arrive back home at the same time. That is

the height of laziness!