to not want strange men in the ante natal ward

[moogster1a]

Lots of discussion today about allowing men to stay overnight in the ward after you've had a baby.
This would be lovely if you were in a private room, but I wouldn't want to have men sleeping overnight in a shared ward.
i have fond memories of shuffling to the loo in the night looking like someone had slaughtered a pig in my pyjamas and literally leaving a bit of a trail ( no one tells you just how much blood is involved!). i would feel very uncomfortable doing this in front of a stranger's husband.

I will eat shit if he has AF

"Being in mixed-sex hospital accommodation can be difficult for some patients for a variety of personal and cultural reasons. The NHS understands this, and strives to treat all patients in privacy and with dignity. For this reason, it is working to ensure that all hospitals provide same-sex accommodation for all patients." NHS Pledge on same-sex accommodation.

"For a hospital to claim that it offers same-sex accommodation, it must:
?separate male and female wards and bays with, at the very minimum, full-height partitions;
?provide separate male and female bathroom and toilet facilities; and
?arrange facilities so that patients do not have to walk past people of the opposite sex to reach washing or toilet facilities or to access other hospital services. " NHS Pledge on same-sex accommodation

"You have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, in accordance with your human rights" NHS Constitution

I don't see how allowing males to sleep on postnatal wards does anything but fly in the face of all these pledges by the NHS.

The question to women should have been "are you happy to spend your first night with your baby with other women's husbands/partners on the same ward".

Its' a stupid idea. Mixed sex wards are no longer allowed on the NHS.

Would anyone here really want themselves, their wife, their baby on a six bay postnatal ward with men around all night??? The partner of the woman opposite me seemed to be involved in a stabbing incident as the stabber not the stabbee and was being pursued by the police (overheard as they audibly discussed the situation!). I wasn't about to tell them to keep the noise down after I heard that. FFS

Right so if a woman who is breastfeeding goes home after giving birth how much help is she seriously likely to get that first night?

Which is the most likely scenario,

1). Woman has the baby brought to her for feeds in night by partner who gazes at them adoringly for duration of feed. He then changes nappy, makes mum a cup of tea and then spends the time inbetween feeds cuddling baby.

2). Woman gets up sorts out the feed and nappy change, makes her own cup of tea while partner sleeps soundly all night.

I'd suspect the majority of women get scenario two.

i have been on a postnatal ward twice now, niether time did i look round and think d'you know what this place needs? a bunch of surplus dudes.

this is cynical cost cutting bollocks dressed up as populist crowd pleasing family friendly guff-ola

as always i remain thrilled and enchanted by some people's sense of entitlement - it must feel tremendous to simply not give a shit that you are making other women feel vulnerable/causing extra work for hcp/using up resources and space because you deep down know that your urge for precious moments trumps every bloody other thing

AnyFucker I'm not disagreeing with you. It would never work. Just glad your DH and I got away with what we did. I suspect I was allowed to stay as long as I was because I was very quiet and just got forgotten! :o

AF

Yes I have read the thread

But with all the greatest respect, I feel that we're not really helping each other consider another point of view.

I have the feeling that my view isn't welcome. I apologize if I have offended people. My honest intention was to point our that there is another side to the argument.

I hope that all the women on this thread have safe deliveries and recoveries. G'nite.

Orally agree pip rabbit. What our hospital has said it will do totally contradicts government policy. Tis has been pointed out to them and I do think maybe it won't be implemented. A
If it is then a woman who isn't happy would have serious grounds for a big complaint and could quite probably sue.

and to the notion that every baby could have a devoted father.

If only. If only.

do you EVER read the news? are you really that sheltered? Or are you and possibly your like minded devoted father friends the only fathers you know of?

Totally agree. Ffs

Harry, I feel your post was OTT. It does not help your cause. I don't share your sentiments, I believe fathers have rights too.

Also, surely it is better that the father goes home gets as much rest as possible so that when his partner and baby come home he is well rested to 'take over' some of the care so his partner can catch up on well needed rest?

Sleeping in hospitals is never easy, sleeping on a postnatal ward even harder why would you want 2 parents both lacking in sleep when they take the baby home? Surely its better to start with one refreshed? (until the first night at least!)

pink4ever, I think we are in danger of overlooking the need for a DH to have had at least some rest before he takes mother and child home. He's going to be busy for while and, IME, tired men can be (to put it nicely) ineffectual.

There is no other side. You would not be welcome sleeping in a room with postnatal women for a million reasons.
And I cannot imagine any men being happy with their partners being out in that position, either.

AF, I didn't think you were the type of engage in cheap personal attacks because of a contrary view. I am very sad to be mistaken.

Sirzy*, how wise you are.

Andrew I know you weren't disagreeing, I was just trying to use yours and my DH's experience to illustrate it is not the case that dads don't get that very precious and wonderful time with their babies

because they do

and yes, sometimes the rules get bent a tiny bit, and all is good

the problems will start when expectations are raised ie. all men will be able to stay all of the time

Harry, I feel your post was OTT. It does not help your cause. I don't share your sentiments, I believe fathers have rights too.

Of course fathers have equal rights to mothers.

But they do not give birth and their right to have precious moments on a ward with sleeping postnatal women is so far below women's rights not to have them there, it's unreal.

Pekka, you haven't ever given birth or been a patient in a post natal ward, have you?

Or want to be next to the man who asked the midwife 4 hours after his partner gave birth when could 'he' have sex again! Good question but inappropriate in front of 3 other women.

If there were going to be random men in my ward all night my DH might have felt compelled to stay. Compounding the problem.

ohanotherone, one mum when I had DD1 in the unit, not in my room, shot heroin brought to her by her partner in the patient bathroom. It was found out because she od'd. He was very loudly arrested.

When I had my second, I was discharged from delivery suite. I waited with the baby in her car seat whilst my husband fetched the car. The lady standing next to me was smoking and looked over at my baby. 'Fucking little cunts,' she said, and explained how relieved she was that hers was already 'away with the Social.'

I would not want to sleep next to partners like theses.

MTGM your posts speak for themselves, I am also sad to say (while we are feeling all sad about it)

and your most appropriate one so far is the one where you say you are gracefully withdrawing

Excellent point Grovel.

Seriously, how many men would be happy to leave their partners in that situation?