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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To talk to my best friend about her drunken behaviour at the weekend?

116 replies

GoForthAndSwivel · 14/11/2011 12:47

I went to my friends for a couple of drinks and a get together on Saturday night which ended up with us going to the pub. My friend was borderline drunk when I got there at 8.45pm and could barely stand by the time we got to the pub at 10.30. Her DP and myself hadn't drank that much and we both felt her behaviour in the pub to be immature, ridiculous and frankly, embarrassing.

She was being loud, crass, obnoxious. Her DP had a word with her which led to her complaining about him to me, but as I was sober, I told her he had a fair point. At this time she started crying whilst barely able to sit on the stall and stormed out.

We discovered her in another pub, all over a bloke. She could hardly keep her eyes open and stringing a sentence together was beyond her at this point. I'd had enough by this time so went home. My other friend who was with us informed me in the morning that said friend had fallen over and gashed her head.

Now, I may sound 'mumsy' but I can't stand going out with her when she gets like this. She's a 25 year old woman who knows her alcohol limits, not a 17 year old going wild.

Do I talk to her about her behaviour?

OP posts:
Wordsonapage · 14/11/2011 12:51

it depends if you still want her as a friend tbh

A ...bloody he'll you were a bit hammered last week..fine
B Catsbum face , we need to talk about your behaviour it's not acceptable...um no

Wordsonapage · 14/11/2011 12:51

Hell ..bloody iPad

WineAndPizza · 14/11/2011 12:52

25? Surely you're still allowed a few nights like that at 25? It's obviously not ideal for her to be getting in that state but I think most people have probably overdone it on occasion and really regretted it the next day. A head injury and hangover of epic proportions will probably be enough to make her think twice about doing it again soon! I know personally alcohol can affect me really differently on different days and maybe she just got over her limit too quickly?

I hope when you left her DP stuck around - I wouldn't leave someone alone in that state.

ShirleyKnot · 14/11/2011 12:55

Ha! Seriously if someone had a word in my shell like for getting pissed and then "confronted" me about it after the weekend was over...well, I think that would be it for our friendship...

unless, is she often pissed or is this unusual?

BupcakesandCunting · 14/11/2011 12:57

You and her DH sound like a pair of bores.

Your mate sounds like an effing riot.

SuckItAndSee · 14/11/2011 12:58

when i was 25 I was like that. not every weekend, but a couple of times a year maybe.

i think yes, her behaviour is not ideal, but not because she's "immature, ridiculous and frankly, embarrassing", but because she's endangering her own health and safety.

I think if you do speak to her, emphasise your concern for her wellbeing, rather than moaning about how embarrassing she is.

ShirleyKnot · 14/11/2011 12:59

Oh you bloody well WOULD rock up here Bupp. Hmm

Seriously, can you imagine someone coming up to you on a night out and saying "You appear to be DRUNK! Cease and desist!" I would probably nut him.

(not really, that's a joke or is it?

Hullygully · 14/11/2011 12:59

I had a friend like this

LordAlconleighsEntrenchingTool · 14/11/2011 13:00

haha at everyone saying friend sounds like a riot. Grin

I very rarely get drunk, but the last time I went out I had one too many amarettos and decided that I couldn't blooy walk home so lay down in the street. In front of a black maria. DP had to bodily lift me up and frogmarch me home.

I had to beg him to promise not to tell my teenage daughter.

But that is once in a blue moon - I hadn't been that drunk for years. If it is a one off, just leave it.

LordAlconleighsEntrenchingTool · 14/11/2011 13:01

Mind you, if it is every week, or very regularly, you do have a point. But god knows how you can speak to someone like that without them getting defensive.

Maisiethemorningsidecat · 14/11/2011 13:01

Agree with Suckit. Her liver and all, but honestly, the type of drinking you describe ain't going to do you any good in the long run. We need to really rethink our approach alcohol in this country - getting so drunk you end up in that state is just stupid.

ShirleyKnot · 14/11/2011 13:02

What's a black maria?

HeresTheThingBooyhoo · 14/11/2011 13:02

ooh, i've been aching for a night like that for quite some while now!! ask her when she's planning it again and get her to contact me via PM.

Grin
FetchezLaVache · 14/11/2011 13:02

Well, I would be very Not Amused by that, but then I won't see 25 or even 35 again. When I was 25, hmmm... it would depend on whether it was a miscalculation (because let's face it, we've all done that) or a regular event.

LoveInAColdClimate · 14/11/2011 13:03

She's 25! Most people occasionally over-do it. She's probably cringing anyway. Unless she does this all the time and you're worried about her health, why on earth would you talk to her? TBH you sound a bit uptight - perhaps you need a drink Grin.

HeresTheThingBooyhoo · 14/11/2011 13:03

a taxi i think shirley.

YaMaYaMa · 14/11/2011 13:03

Is your mate on MN? She sounds hilarious Grin

proudfoot · 14/11/2011 13:03

OP I think YANBU!

If your friend is so drunk that she injures herself I don't think that's just a laugh Hmm

Hullygully · 14/11/2011 13:03

a black maria is a police car

OrmIrian · 14/11/2011 13:03

I don't know. I think it needs to come from her partner. He's the one who has to live with her.

FWIW I like a drink (or two!) but I don't think I have ever been that pissed. Ever! If that makes me a bore so be it, but I personally think it's the rolling, gibbering, repetitive, maudlin drunk that is a bore. DH and his mate were like that when we went to see Toots and the Maytals in Bristol a few months back - I didn't need to tell him he was a twat, he knew it and apologised the next day. And he had to go into school as usual so he got his punishment

GreenEyesandNiceHam · 14/11/2011 13:04

And this is why I refuse to go out with people like this. I INSIST that sober catsbum types stay at home.

Seriously OP if she's really your best friend and not like this the whole time, I'd just leave it and cut her some slack

MmeLindor. · 14/11/2011 13:04

Depends if it is a regular thing.

If so then yes, have a word. But "I am worried about you" not "We need to talk about your behaviour".

If one off then phone her and take the piss.

ShirleyKnot · 14/11/2011 13:05

The thing about booze is that it can take you by surprise.

I used to go out and be fine one week, and the next week I'd be drunk on 2 glasses of wine. I blame hormones.

LordAlconleighsEntrenchingTool · 14/11/2011 13:05

Black maria is a riot van.

The riot van wasn't called out for me, btw. It just happened to be there when my knees gave way and walking home was just too much.

I have no idea why I call riot vans black marias btw.

YaMaYaMa · 14/11/2011 13:06

Your post has just made me wish I had a mate who gets ratarsed before leaving the house, makes a show of themselves in a pub, gets stroppy when admonished and then cops a feel of a stranger, before cutting her head open on the way home.

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