To talk to my best friend about her drunken behaviour at the weekend?

[GoForthAndSwivel]

I went to my friends for a couple of drinks and a get together on Saturday night which ended up with us going to the pub. My friend was borderline drunk when I got there at 8.45pm and could barely stand by the time we got to the pub at 10.30. Her DP and myself hadn't drank that much and we both felt her behaviour in the pub to be immature, ridiculous and frankly, embarrassing.

She was being loud, crass, obnoxious. Her DP had a word with her which led to her complaining about him to me, but as I was sober, I told her he had a fair point. At this time she started crying whilst barely able to sit on the stall and stormed out.

We discovered her in another pub, all over a bloke. She could hardly keep her eyes open and stringing a sentence together was beyond her at this point. I'd had enough by this time so went home. My other friend who was with us informed me in the morning that said friend had fallen over and gashed her head.

Now, I may sound 'mumsy' but I can't stand going out with her when she gets like this. She's a 25 year old woman who knows her alcohol limits, not a 17 year old going wild.

Do I talk to her about her behaviour?

Why did you take your friend for a pub if she was in such a state?

I am normally OK with drink.

But sometimes, I don't know why, I can be perfectly compos and then the next drink - BAM - plastered and shrieking with laughter like an old fishwife.

But I can count on my one hand the amount of times in my life I have been completely trollied.

I am sure she has been beating herself up for her behaviour and I really can't see any need to add to her woes.

Leave that conversation and your friendship intact.

Well, I rather thought the same about you too, Shirley, you amateur dipso.

I am a prick when drunk. I am always mortified and have dried sick in my hair. I don't need mates doing their best "concerned" faces at me.

Disclaimer: not every weekend, mind.

A black maria is a police VAN, I think hully, with plenty of space for reprobates to be carted back and forth.

Not that I know anything more about them...

Oh a riot van! You laid down in the road in front of a riot van!

When I was about 21 I went to a works xmas party and completely misjudged the strength of the wine I was drinking (I was more of a lambrusco gal back then, and I don't think the Grosvenor Hotel serves that) and I got horribly embarrassingly drunk. In front of all my work collegueueerueueues. Who were Japanese and oh god I was trying to get all the wives up to dance and when I left I fell down in front of the doorman person and ripped my tights and I couldn't get up.

I'm not a raging alcoholic (shut up buppy) or a violent Broken Binge Drinking Britain hooligan.

Depends. If she does this every time you go out and irritates everyone then YANBU, some people do that and everyone else has to look after/ be emabrrassed by them.
If its rarely then I'd not worry, se prob has beer fear and you tellign her off will make it so much worse.

No, she gets like this every weekend, I just don't see it very much because I don't go out often. She has Crohns Disease and i have tried explaining to her it's bad for her health but she won't listen. Her DP hasn't seen her like this for a while because he has been away (navy) and was mortified.

Most of my friends are piss heads enjoy a or three. I do too. But we rarely get this bad - like others are saying, if this is a one off don't say anything.

I have a friend who always ends up crying or passing out or vommitting (she's 41) so, as she's not a close friend and I'm not too arsed about our relationship, I've decided not to see her again. Why should I have to get her home in a taxi and deliver her comatose to her dh every time we go out 'for a couple of local drinks'? She's not an alcoholic btw, she just can't handle booze at all and thinks she can.

The riot van was parked - it wasn't motoring towards crims when I decided to lay down in front of it. Apparently the policemen gave DP a sympathetic look of solidarity when he hefted picked me up.

I have form with black mariahs. When I was 16 I went out for NYE dressed as bugsy malone. I had a replica pistol, and crossing the road at about 2pm stood in a 'STOP or my mom will shoot' pose in the middle of the high street and tried to hold up a riot van. I then ran off, cackling. I blame west country cider.

I am like this if I drink alcohol. I have no tolerance for any limit it seems so I just don't drink anymore because I don't behave.

Oh, bit different then if she does this every weekend. In that case if she really is your best friend and you're worried about her health, maybe you could have a chat about why she does it... but I have literally no clue about how you would do this without wrecking your friendship. Sorry.

Could it be a reaction to the stress of her DP being away? Has he been away somewhere scary?

Lordalcon- unless napping in front of a riot van is a common habit of the less than sober woman i think i witnessed your debacle. If it was you that i saw, may i say that your husband looked more embarrassed than i have ever seen another human being look. The woman/ maybe you looked like she'd had a great time!

Sorry, TheSecondComing, but that sounds so funny... [burst out laughing emoticon - why don't we have one?]

OP - if she won't listen to you, is there anyone else she is scared of will actually listen to.

I hesitate to say tell her mum, but if she is close to her mum, would that help? Does she go out and get blindo because she missed her husband? She could also be going out and getting trashed to try and forget about the crihns disease (which has lots of horrible degenerative symptoms, by all accounts).

I agree someone needs to try and speak to her really if she is like this every weekend.

Hmm. Ah well is she is getting totally and utterly spangled every weekend, and putting herself in dangerous situation then that's something different.

You're still going to have to tread carefully mind, if you want to help her.

Agree with MmeL with phrasing the conversation as worry, rather than judging.

My friend and I once attempted to lead away a police horse when we were drunk . We thought it looked lonely and sad standing in the rain and were going to take it home to the warm. The policeman sitting on it was very good about it.

pregnant - christ! Did you happen to be in a west country town which begins with C?

I'm not joking, if Pregnantpause saw LordAlcon's riot van protest, then I might actually burst something from laughing

When I was 25 I was like that occasionally. I look back and I am horrified by my behaviour. I wish someone had spoken to me because it isn't acceptable.

Haha at trying to take a police horse home.

Has anyone else tried to rob a copper of his hat whilst dressed up as a clown? And said 'if you let me have your hat CUNTstable Iwill let you have a go on my green wig'. I wasn't even very pissed that night.

I was probably like this at 25. No-one said anything to me, I wouldn't have listened to them if they did. I never did anything hurtful or dreadful or fell out with my lovely friends, just looked a mess probably. It just never occurred to me to stop drinking if I was on a night out. It only clicked in my early 30s - 'Oh I don't have to get to the jibbering wreck point - I can stop drinking or go home'. Which I do now obvs.

FFS I've just read this again and realised the girl in question is only 25! Therefore I would amend the last bit of the OP to:

"She's a 25 year old woman who knows her alcohol limits, not a 17 year old going wild.

Do I talk to her about her behaviour So should I get my judgey head out of my arse?

Only joking GoForth - but seriously - she's 25. That's exactly the right age to be going out and being irresponsible, IMO. Ok so getting so pissed you gash your head is not good, but I do think you need to chill out a bit and enjoy being young