I honestly think that there's no such thing as ugly.
OP love, you mentioned about your Mother telling you there were things you couldn't wear?
I think you are carrying with you a frankly contemptible comment from your mother that has coloured your perception of yourself, and it does you immense credit that you are so determined not to let your daughter feel the same.
Attractiveness comes, I think, from 2 things: a lovely open, honest, smiling, affectionate and interesting face (which can be boss-eyed and treble-chinned), and from grooming and taking care in your appearance (again, could be boss-eyed and treble chinned!).
I am generally thought to have a lovely face (I'm very fat though 
). However, if I go out in a disgusting strop, with a horrid stroppy facial expression and greasy hair, and spots, and no makeup, and smelling, you betcha I look ugly. Someone with a less objectively nice face than mine, but well taken care of, and smiling and direct, would look about a THOUSAND TIMES more attractive than me in that state.
Which is a roundabout way of saying that you musn't let that awful comment affect whether or not you choose to be groomed and made-up. If you don't want to be because that's not your choice, then fine.
But if you don't do it because you think you somehow don't deserve it, that's really not fine at all.
That being said I think what folks have said is quite right, and that this fixation on physical comeliness is bloody annoying, especially since it applies to women more than men 
.
There are loads of other places to look for heroines. Google the female winners of the George Cross for instance: no-one remembers that air hostess woman for whether or not she had good skin, but because of her astonishing acts of courage and self-sacrifice in saving many lives. No-one remembers Austen for her looks (which judging by her sole portrait was never going to launch a thousand ships) but for her amazing wit and skill.